Right now, my biggest worry is explaining away my very little appetite. I only told my hubby and MIL because she loves feeding me and might worry if i'm not eating! I come from a culture where eating is a hobby and if you're offered food, you must accept or its rude. Same with parties and events, you MUST eat.

I'm going home next month for a family party and I'm worried my Mom will try to feed me and get annoyed if I refuse food. Telling her is not an option, I decided pre-surgery that I don't want people, especially her to know.

Has anyone faced this problem? What did you do?

@@potahto explain that you aren't able to eat certain foods. If they get offended - so be it. It's better than eating something you shouldn't and risk your health.

I only told my sister, my best friend and my other friend who got the same sleeve done. My mom was the last person who i would tell. She is very judgmental and such a gossip girl. when i go over she does wonder how im loosing weight so fast but i give her the same "diet & exercise" bone. i feel the less you tell people, the less they monitor you. my friend said when he told his coworkers, all they did was monitor what he ate like if they were all nutritionist. i feel like people will also judge you.

i had this incident happen to me a week ago. I went to my friends house after work to catch up. as i walk in to her house, im looking for her and she gets excited when she sees me, so we hug and i notice a lady sitting at the dinning table. i whisper "whos that?" "oh she does my nail refill bi-weekly after work" i look back at her, smile and wave hello. she literally disregards me and walks by to say shes leaving. i didn't know what her problem was so i just made myself at home and grabbed a drink. thinking she was gone i went looking for my friend. she was still talking to the rude lady at the door, as i turn around i started coughing really bad, i was 2 weeks out, and took a big gulp without thinking. my friend quickly turned around and panicked asking if i was okay and i was assuring her that i was fine. the rude lady acted like she cared and asked her what was going on. my friend accidently told her "oh no she okay, she just cant take big sips her tummy is small" i looked at her so mad. everything gets awkward and the rude lady says "wow people who get that surgery are ridiculous" maaaaan i jumped back at her too quick "people that don't know what they're talking about are ridiculous, you don't know the struggle of trying to be fit and trying to better yourself, you don't know how this surgery changes peoples habits for the better, so if you don't know what the f*ck you're talking about just shut the f*ck up" she gets annoyed and storms off. that day i learned to keep my business on the low. a lot of people wont understand.

You tell one "friend" and probably 20 people will be discussing you. NAture of gossiping women and men. Three years of reading these posts have confirmed it.

I am 3+ months out. I have lost 45 lbs. I only told my husband and my sister. I am very close to my sister and trust her not to tell anyone else, but to be honest I wish I hadn't told her. Every conversation we have now she wants to know "how much have you lost" "what size are you now"? It gets so annoying, esp. Since I'm in a stall for 3 wks. I miss just talking to her about normal things like we used to. I don't want to talk about my weight at all and am very private about it. Think carefully before you tell ANYONE if you are also a private person who doesn't want to have the main conversation always centered around how much weight you have lost etc. Because you can never 'untell' or really know how many people those you tell will share your news with.

I am 3+ months out. I have lost 45 lbs. I only told my husband and my sister. I am very close to my sister and trust her not to tell anyone else, but to be honest I wish I hadn't told her. Every conversation we have now she wants to know "how much have you lost" "what size are you now"? It gets so annoying, esp. Since I'm in a stall for 3 wks. I miss just talking to her about normal things like we used to. I don't want to talk about my weight at all and am very private about it. Think carefully before you tell ANYONE if you are also a private person who doesn't want to have the main conversation always centered around how much weight you have lost etc. Because you can never 'untell' or really know how many people those you tell will share your news with.

That's pretty much why I don't want to tell my Mom. Her reaction will either be unsupportive and judgmental or she will obsess about my weight loss and comment things like I don't seem to be losing weight or that I look the same, or maybe my saggy skin from weightloss lol

I told my husband and psychiatrist. Others I'll say I'm on a diet. Had a lap band removed last year and I've had a few issues with heart burn during my lady pregnancy so I've cut out a few things.

Having had the lap band and telling everyone, I definitely don't want to go through that again. I'll paved the way with doing more walking and telling people I'm watching what I eat.

Good luck.

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My surgery is penciled in for October 27th and I have told everyone that I see on a daily basis: co-workers, friends, and family. It's just easier. No worrying about what to tell people, no explaining why I'm not eating that much. Everyone has been very supportive and some have expressed excitement for me as well. I've been overweight for more than 20 years. I got over being embarrassed years ago, it is what it is and now I'm doing something about it.

Whether to tell is a personal choice. Some people tell anyone who will listen, others may tell 1 or 2 confidants. In my case I kept quiet initially because I wasn't for sure if I was going to have the surgery. I just wanted to go through the process so that it would be on the table. WLS can be very controversial to some and I just didn't want to feel the need to justify my reasons. I made an informed choice. I was at peace with that choice. I chose to tell my husband, my 2 children and my mother initially because they are my primary support system and if something happened to me they deserved to be informed.

Once I closer to my date-- I begin strategically telling very close friends (3) and family. They were very happy for me and extremely supportive of my decisions. They were very instrumental in my recovery and have provided ongoing encouragement and support post op. I don't regret telling not a 1 of them. I did not tell associates, distant family, neighbors, co workers and I take all of their compliments with a simple thank you and a smile.

I don't find it necessary to explain myself to anyone. I too worried about what I would say but I noticed-- no one really cares what I'm eating. In family settings i'll fix a plate with items to nibble on just to look normal but no one says hey you hardly ate anything??? It's about being in the moment and enjoying that family time. Even if that means telling a funny story, or initiating Karaoke or an interactive game. No one will pay attention to your eating habits!

I think I was more worried about it than anyone else. The only time I was called out was when my husband and I were hanging out with parents from my sons baseball team and I wasn't drinking alcohol-- it felt a little awkward to feel that way just for not drinking. Can u say peer pressure? Honestly we 'd hung out with the coach and his wife in the past and they've always known me to drink at least socially. But it's over and I didn't have to tell them a thing and since my son quit the team the next time I see them, I'll be skinny. LOL!

I haven't told anyone-only my husband knows. I just tell people I'm trying to lose weight or that I'm not feeling well.

My co-workers who know don't pay any attention to what I eat now. They asked what I ate a couple of times, more out of curiosity I think. But after a few months, it's a non-issue.

As silly as it may sound, I have done the following to keep the drama to a minimum. Accepted food on my plate to make people happy and then slid it to the trash or napkins when they weren't looking, pretended being the day after a stomach virus, started a new diet (told them that), fed the dog under the table ... all kinds of things. Eventually they'll get used to me eating like a thin person - for now it's only difficult because I'm in the puréed stage. I only told my family I live with. No one else knows. My mother is coming to town in a couple months and I'll decide then if I'm going to tell her. She will take if fine, it's more the money I spent to get it done with her. She's 5'10" and 145 pounds. So fat is something she's never really had to deal with (she's 75). Do what works for you for what stage your in and what you feel comfortable with. Everyone has their own way, and understands the personalities of the people they're dealing with best. Take it a day at a time, a person at a time, and one day you'll just be their thin relative/friend that eats like all the rest if he thin people! You got this!

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I have only told my husband (he's my great caretaker, my daughter who lives with us, my brother, and my sil (she had the surgery a few years ago and was my inspiration). I'm not sure what I will tell my coworkers but I have been overweight for years and the shame and embarrassment of it has made me reluctant to discuss the subject at all. I didn't tell my mother because she is in bad health and forgets what we talk about so I would have to tell her many times and I'm not up to that for sure. We'll see how it goes. Back to work Monday and life begins for me.

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