So.....I literally decided to have the surgery LAST NIGHT! In making my decision, I have watched so many videos and read so many stories of people who have had the surgery. I am still scared! I am a mother and my fear is that I don't make it out of surgery. I know it's a little ridiculous but, it's where my brain goes. I know like 4 people who have had the surgery and have had very little complications (dehydration being the main "problem") but my mind still goes to the .2% chance that something will go wrong!

My decision to finally put my fears aside when I visited a friend who had the surgery and she looked amazing! She was always my "fat friend". We would joke about it together. Obviously being fat isn't funny but when you can joke with someone about how hard it is to bend over, it makes you feel less alone. I made a comment while visiting her and her response was. Yeah, I was the same pre-surgery. She wasn't being rude or judge mental but she just can't relate in that way anymore. Which I am happy for! She looks amazing and I can tell she is enjoying her "new life". But what it did for me was highlight the reality. It was no longer funny. Or cute. Or laughable. I felt like her pre-op picture. I felt like she was looking at me and remembering when it was her and thanking God that she had her surgery when she did. Again, not in a judgmental way....it was just reality.

I am ready for this. I am ready to not get out of breath walking up the stairs. I am ready to be a better wife, mother, and an overall better me! I have an awesome support system in my husband. I have not told anybody else yet....(not even my ex-"fat friend") and I am not sure who all I will tell about it.

Has anyone else felt embarrassed? Like when you tell people, they are just going to be like "why doesn't she just go to the gym?" Or "she's taking the easy way." I just don't know how people will react.

So, the only step I have taken is to make an appointment with my PCM to discuss this surgery. Like I said...I decided last night! I am excited even though I am nervous!

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I am like you. At the very beginning. I have a consultation scheduled for one week from today. And I am excited. Like you I am ready, to to not be out of breath doing simple things, ready to not squeeze myself into seats or booths, ready to not be forced to sit on the sidelines watching my family do things without me because my body simply CANT. I too worry I will be that minimal statistic that doesn't make it it of the operating room. But I realize that I am just as likely to be the statistic that doesn't wake up one morning cause my heart gave out, or to be hit by a car crossing the street. At this point in my life it's well worth the risk. Because if I don't I feel like the fat will kill me, and sooner then I'd like. It's a gamble, but one I am ready to take! Congrats on your decision to take back your life! I'm as excited for you as I am for myself!! Every night I write letters to my slimmer self, and I put them in a tin to read a year from the date I write them. In them I write about the things I can't do, the pains...both physical and emotional, so that a year from now I don't forget completely what it was like living this way, to encourage myself to push through the trials. And because it also offers me hope, that in a year I will be around to read them.

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look at it this way - you have a much greater chance of dying of some obesity-related issue than you do of dying on the operating table. WLS is a very safe surgery - safer than hip replacement surgery, and they do those every day.

@@NOVAMOM348 You will certainly get those reactions from some people but that's their ignorance. Don't ever feel embarrassed about trying to improve your health! Tell who you want - don't tell others - it's your journey! Good luck!

Thanks for the feedback. I LOVE the idea of writing letter to your slimmer self. I think it will be easy to forget just how difficult simple things were once the weight is going away. I just had a 2 hour conversation about it with my "ex-fat friend" and I feel much better about it. She's honest! She didn't sugar coat anything but feel much better and even more excited after talking to her.

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You are right, kristenle. They aren't there in my day to day life to know what it's like to be me.

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I too am a mother! I have two more months left before surgery will be scheduled.

The way I see it, My life will be so much better after this surgery! I'll actually have my life back!

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The best thing to do as you are contemplating surgery and researching is think about why you want to do this.

You mentioned you are a mother. Besides the fact that I was very sick when I decided to go for it, the primary reason was because I am a mother and a grandmother.

Having lost my own mother when she was 66 to complications from obesity, I felt I could not do that to my own children. My Mom died from this disease. She developed type 2 diabetes and severe sleep apnea. The worse her diabetes got, the worse her sleep apnea got. She developed an infection in her big toe and had to have it removed, then 3 months later develped an even worse infection in her other toe which progressed rapidly to her foot. After multiple surgeries to try to save the foot, she lost her leg. She had rheumatoid arthritis and could barely function or even feed herself. 2 weeks before she passed away, they told us if she wouldn't use a Cpap, she would be dead in 48 hours. She tried but fought it all the way. She died a horribly painful and slow death. I was with her when she passed away and I remember feeling so angry at her for leaving me. I love my Mom and miss her every single day, she was my best friend.

My Mom had a lot going on medically all stemming from the fact that she was morbidly obese.

Having been 310lbs myself and having type 2 diabetes, high BP, High cholesterol, sleep apnea and stage 3 chronic kidney diesels all brought on by obesity, I decided very quickly that I would never make my children feel the way I did. I was going to do this for as much them as myself and my husband. It was the best decision I ever made for myself. My only regret is I did not do it sooner.

I share this story only to say that as time goes by it gets harder and harder to take off the weight and near impossible to keep it off. I believe the statistic is something like 5% of people who lose weight through diet and exercise are able to keep the weight off long term. I am attaching a link to an article that is very informational for those considering Bariatric surgery. It's a quick easy read and it is from the American Society of Bariatric Surgery. It definately dispels a lot of the myths and It might help.....

https://asmbs.org/patients/bariatric-surgery-misconceptions

@@Djmohr Your post made me cry! I'm sorry you had to go through that with your Mom.

I am also just beginning this process. I am glad you are receiving some comfort both from here and from your friend. All my best to you on your journey.

I am currently going through the pre-operative steps and I can totally relate to everything you were saying the fear is still here. I can say I am terrified, excited, and over flowing with anticipation for post operative changes all in one. I am also so afraid once I start loosing weight I wont recognize myself and or I will change personality wise into someone I wont like - get a terrible ego or something. I am told these are common fears and natural. The psychologist is very helpful and is always willing to talk - I am in Canada and the psychologist is part of the team and is always available. She (the psychologist) suggested support groups are a great resource to help and have people in similar circumstances to talk to. So just stay open talk to people and work through the process.

I am also just beginning my journey. I have my first appointment Tuesday 8/16 with my surgeon. I am excited to become a healthier version of myself. What I have found through this site is everyone seems to have the same fears about WLS. It has been comforting to see I am not alone with mine. I wish you well on your journey! I am sure when all is said and done our only regret will be not having it sooner!

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I am in my three month nutritional counseling and also had the fear of not waking up from surgery. This was lessened somewhat after discussing my fear with my surgeon and realizing if I don't do the surgery, some other co-morbidity would take me out. Look around....how many obese senior citizens do you know?

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I am in my three month nutritional counseling and also had the fear of not waking up from surgery. This was lessened somewhat after discussing my fear with my surgeon and realizing if I don't do the surgery, some other co-morbidity would take me out. Look around....how many obese senior citizens do you know?

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