So I had weight loss surgery on September 2nd of last year and have lost, like, 53 pounds and I should have lost 80 by now and I have been more anxious and depressed since my surgery.

So I'm having a depression slump and I am looking at old pictures of me and crying because I really miss being able to eat to cope with my depression. Right now, even though I know its not true, I feel like I am utterly alone.

I know I have family and friends in other states but I feel alone, I feel like no one loves me or cares about me, I feel like I can't get better mentally and its an awful feeling because I am not sure how to cope anymore, I don't know what to do to cope.

I cannot over eat so I don't try to and writing and reading and crocheting doesn't help, makeup isn't even helping despite me doing a bunch of it. This is one thing most gastric bypass surgery patients go through, they're somewhat depressed because they can't eat like they used to and food is no longer fun.

Its not fun to go out and eat, its not fun to go to family gatherings and eat, its not fun to go on trips and eat. Eating in general is no longer enjoyable for me. I mean, yeah, food like my kale and fruit smoothie is enjoyable but things like cake, chicken, beef, hot dogs, Chinese food, etc (which I don't even eat anymore) isn't fun...

this surgery took away the joy in eating and I am happy I had the surgery but at the same time I miss being able to look forward to going out to eat, not looking forward to waiting 30 minutes before drinking or playing guess which foods your stomach can't tolerate today.

I'm sorry for this but my depression has gotten worse since the surgery so its a win lose for me but at least I'm getting healthy, I guess. I just feel like I cannot cope at points and I want to revert back to self harm, which I haven't done since 2013.

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@ - dear god, did you talk to the doc prescribing the anti-depressants about the surgery? This is serious stuff. I have an ex who is bi-polar. I suffer from occasional bouts of depression. I had to adjust everything post surgery. Slow release stuff doesn't work anymore. I have to do low dose throughout the day to make these drugs work.

Please really monitor your sleep and if that pattern shifts, let someone know.. Walk. Stay in touch with people who make you feel good. What ever it takes to keep you sane until the meds are stabilized. And remember, the drugs are tools, not magic.

@ I am so sorry that you are going through this. I've had anti-depressants stop working for me after a huge event in my life. The only anti-depressant that hasn't stopped, is Lexapro. It's just that Lexapro is a bit more expensive depending on insurance. I wish I could snap my fingers and help you feel better, but all I can do is be here for you and give you some words of comfort. Do you have friends that you can spend time with? I've noticed that spending time with my friends and laughing helps SO much.

May I ask, why did you choose to get this surgery? To get healthier? To look better? Both?

I don't have any friends here in Florida, I'm trying to meet people and I had the surgery to become healthy and to get rid of diabetes and acid reflux, and those are gone now. I do want to look better but I have a hard time even thinking I look good.

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Congrats on getting rid of your diabetes and acid reflux! I bet you feel better about that! I think you may suffer from low self-esteem, though. Why did you move to Florida?

Well, its a really long story but I was supposed to be in Georgia but I was in a bad living situation so I ended up here.

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@ - dear god, did you talk to the doc prescribing the anti-depressants about the surgery? This is serious stuff. I have an ex who is bi-polar. I suffer from occasional bouts of depression. I had to adjust everything post surgery. Slow release stuff doesn't work anymore. I have to do low dose throughout the day to make these drugs work.

Please really monitor your sleep and if that pattern shifts, let someone know.. Walk. Stay in touch with people who make you feel good. What ever it takes to keep you sane until the meds are stabilized. And remember, the drugs are tools, not magic.

I told my aprn about the surgery and she acts like she doesn't understand the malabsorption part but only the "weight loss part".

I am on two new medications, vistaril twice a day for anxiety and remrom for sleep. I sleep but I wake up exhausted. I'm trying my best.

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@ - Not good. When you are waking up exhausted and taking two anti-depressants, well "Huston we have a problem." (Check out crazymeds.org - best site for really monitoring the effect of these drugs). There is an art and a science of medicine. The science is "appendix burst, take it out"). The art is how to do it without creating more problems. The meds you are on are really on the art side. You have to work with the docs and tell them how it is working. You have to know how long does it take before this stuff should have an effect.

For instance...I take Welbutrin. It takes a month before I should expect any changes. I marked on my calendar. You need to write this down so you have real info to give to your doc. This is a partnership. Please take it that seriously.

If I seem to be over reactive, well I am with this stuff. It's not like eating a piece of pizza, it can be really bad.

Friend,

Remeron is an appetite stimulant as well as an antidepressant. It increases the craving for sugars.

Please, Please find a therapist who is familiar and supportive of bariatric surgery and its effects on one's body.

Hang on, girl friend. Call area hospitals, mental health clinics and your insurance company. Explain to them--in detail--what's going on with your body and mind.

Keep posting . We care and we want to know when you land on solid ground.

Go to a Vitamin store. TODAY. Get Magnesium Oratate or Magnesium Glutamate. Magnesium is burned up during stress and we ALL are very, very low in it-our diets suck. Magnesium helps with depression, anxiety, energy levels!!! It is cheap to buy. Do not buy Mag Oxide (does not absorb) or Mag Citrate (poop city).

I myself take 200% of daily value-more if I am extra low. It can take a few days/weeks to fill up your bucket..but you will feel better soon. I had let mine slack and was in a sneaky hate spiral of tears and three days of hitting it hard and I feel better (not perfect, but better). It can upset your tummy a bit while your body gets used to it, no worries, it is slow and work up over the course of a few days.

Also good to pair it with TMG, Vitiman B, B12 and Folate-these are all cheap and good friends with each other.

I DO hear you on what is going on, I am not discounting and everyone has given advice, this is the best way I know to fix it from the inside.

Go to a Vitamin store. TODAY. Get Magnesium Oratate or Magnesium Glutamate. Magnesium is burned up during stress and we ALL are very, very low in it-our diets suck. Magnesium helps with depression, anxiety, energy levels!!! It is cheap to buy. Do not buy Mag Oxide (does not absorb) or Mag Citrate (poop city).

I myself take 200% of daily value-more if I am extra low. It can take a few days/weeks to fill up your bucket..but you will feel better soon. I had let mine slack and was in a sneaky hate spiral of tears and three days of hitting it hard and I feel better (not perfect, but better). It can upset your tummy a bit while your body gets used to it, no worries, it is slow and work up over the course of a few days.

Also good to pair it with TMG, Vitiman B, B12 and Folate-these are all cheap and good friends with each other.

I DO hear you on what is going on, I am not discounting and everyone has given advice, this is the best way I know to fix it from the inside.

I actually agree with you..... i do not have a history of depression... but i went through a phase of malnutrition a few years back..... and i was severely depressed.... my B Vitamins, vit D and mag were really low....

Might be worth looking into.... if you have depression and meds are not working, the added stress on the body might not be helping.... i would suggest having bloods tested for all vitamins... and ask your dr to review your meds

@@Anna Nim@ and AussieGirl81 - I don't disagree with you. And I seriously respect your sincerity, but when someone is describing symptoms of major depression, I tend to freak out on the side of caution, not nutrition. I have too much experience with this (my ex, and a very close friend who blew her brains out just before Christmas last year). Some things I don't mess with. Help someone get safe and on stable ground, then and only then would I start worrying about their diet.

@@Anna Nim@ and AussieGirl81 - I don't disagree with you. And I seriously respect your sincerity, but when someone is describing symptoms of major depression, I tend to freak out on the side of caution, not nutrition. I have too much experience with this (my ex, and a very close friend who blew her brains out just before Christmas last year). Some things I don't mess with. Help someone get safe and on stable ground, then and only then would I start worrying about their diet.

I NEVER suggested Vitamins at the expense of considering medication-that has already been suggested here by many others.

Depression is serious. I hear so much of myself in her. I have my own recent experiences with suicides in my circle, and my own lifelong struggles with depression (FYI, the meds & counseling did not help me One Iota..).

Medication even if started *today* won't start to really work for weeks. Hence why I see no reason not to take it now. Magnesium can be bought today and may help in the next few days. I personally, suggest *everyone* take it, not just Venomousflowers. There is a great book called the Magnesium Miracle that convinced me that it is the key to many of our well being. (Note: Low magnesium often does not show in blood work, when/if you get too much in your system by taking it, your gonna poop it out.).

Magnesium Orate or Magnesium Glutamate 200% of daily value.

This is still my personal recommendation to add to the rest.

Hi there!

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. The most important thing is to get your depression under control and to work with a physiatrist or therapist that is familiar with WLS.

They need to understand the malabsorption issues that comes with RNY. It takes time to get this right so be good to yourself during this time.

It takes time also to get to the point where food no longer becomes the center of everything that we do. At first we all miss that food was the center of our world but as you progress, you find other things that help you through. This is easier said than done especially for someone who suffers from depression. I have had very mild bouts of depression over the last few years mostly caused by medications to control my physical pain.

I have to work really hard at staying positive and that is not always easy but I know when I do, I feel better about the food thing.

This is just what has worked for me but following the food plan and ensuring I get a good balanced diet that does include good carbs really helps me. I am not sure where you are at with the original food plan given to you but it might help to dust off your instructions and see if you really are on top of it. If you are on top of that then great, if not you might try that. If more weight comes off, you might start to see a higher momentum that will drive you to a more positive state.

Take lots of warm baths and be good to yourself but the first thing is get to a therapist who understands WLS patients.

Hugs.....

@@venomousflowers, I am so sorry that you're having a hideous day. Your having three new topics going at once and your change in screen name in the past couple of hours send out a signal. Please, please sit down, take slow, deep breaths -- as many as it takes and as often as helps calm you a little -- and sip a glass of Water. These simple, accessible actions will settle you enough so that you can think more clearly.

Eating won't comfort you. It will put you in a stupor, leaving nothing unchanged when you come out of it. More than that, you'll be down on yourself for turning to food. If reading and other quiet activities don't distract or comfort you, will you go out for a walk? Burning some physical energy usually makes a good difference. While you walk, notice your surroundings -- the birds, trees, everything that catches your eye and connects you to your surroundings. The feeling that we belong in our environments means a lot.

It really does seem that your meds need to be reevaluated and that therapy is the way to go. Both are important components of a support network even though they're not what we usually think of as "network." In addition you can look at shrinkyourself.com/public/welcome. (The BP linkmaker isn't working for me.) It's about dealing with emotional eating and is the product of a psychologist. There is also the book, The Beck Diet Solution, by cognitive behaviorist Judith Beck, which is a guide to coping with the same. It's meant to be read from page one rather than hopping about. People who do the exercises at both sources get the greatest benefit.

Another thing is to attend bariatric support groups at hospitals in your area. They are a chance to feel less isolated and perhaps even find others who are having similar experiences. There's also the possibility that a real friendship or two can evolve.

Your screen name is up to you. I'll say, though, that, if it keeps changing, BP members who want to 'talk' with you won't recognize you.

Go to a Vitamin store. TODAY. Get Magnesium Oratate or Magnesium Glutamate. Magnesium is burned up during stress and we ALL are very, very low in it-our diets suck. Magnesium helps with depression, anxiety, energy levels!!! It is cheap to buy. Do not buy Mag Oxide (does not absorb) or Mag Citrate (poop city).

I myself take 200% of daily value-more if I am extra low. It can take a few days/weeks to fill up your bucket..but you will feel better soon. I had let mine slack and was in a sneaky hate spiral of tears and three days of hitting it hard and I feel better (not perfect, but better). It can upset your tummy a bit while your body gets used to it, no worries, it is slow and work up over the course of a few days.

Also good to pair it with TMG, Vitiman B, B12 and Folate-these are all cheap and good friends with each other.

I DO hear you on what is going on, I am not discounting and everyone has given advice, this is the best way I know to fix it from the inside.

I was told to not take any other Vitamins until my blood work.

Thank you to everyone. I am getting my blood test tomorrow, for the 3rd time. I am also doing more things like walking and yoga that makes me feel better. I am listening to podcast to take my mind off things and I am going to see my aprn on the 12th. I have so much on my mind, and I didn't mean to make so many topics or anything, I just had a lot on my mind. Tonight I am doing some yoga and talking to a few old friends to help me get my mind off of things. I also started a journal about how the medication makes me feel.

Thank you to everyone. I am getting my blood test tomorrow, for the 3rd time. I am also doing more things like walking and yoga that makes me feel better. I am listening to podcast to take my mind off things and I am going to see my aprn on the 12th. I have so much on my mind, and I didn't mean to make so many topics or anything, I just had a lot on my mind. Tonight I am doing some yoga and talking to a few old friends to help me get my mind off of things. I also started a journal about how the medication makes me feel.

This is so good to hear.

Thank you for the update. You have been on my mind. It will be good. I had to hold on for a while until the Wellbutrin kicked in. Not pretty but it was worth it. Reach out if you need to