Okay, I'm about 1.5 years out and have lost 139 lbs. I'm proud of this. I'm pushing for the last 30 lbs to come off but I'm dealing with a food obsession. I've started counseling and taking vyvanse but the obsessions are still there. If my mind is not occupied, or if the task is simple, I am thinking about food. Especially junk food. I go through periods where I'm fine and others that I cant seem to put Protein inside me even though it's around. I try to keep "bad" food out but it ends up here.

I'm also being treated for anxiety and depression. Which I've had for years but every doctor had said it would go away if I lost weight (don't you love when drs don't take you seriously?!). At any rate, it still exists and persists and feels even worse.

So...

If anyone else goes through this (my doc said 4 in 10 do), what advice can you give? I know I need a hobby of sorts but it's hard sometimes to even get out of bed with the depression. Sometimes I don't feel worth it. (I know I am, but depression is voice that sticks when you don't want it to.)

Any book recommendations? I have an anxiety workbook but was interested in a food obsession book that may have worked for someone else.

I just asked for help a few months ago from my dr. I've started new meds but hoped to get back to some community support. Please go easy!

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Wow it sounds like you have a lot going on and are stuck in a rough patch. Your weight loss is AMAZING so it makes me sad that you are obsessing over food. But I get it. I too have been treated for anxiety and depression for years but don't think weight loss is going to magically make it go away (my doctor suggested same thing- kinda scary how they glaze right over the head stuff part huh?) and I'm trying very hard to keep my little brain busy. I'm a huge reader and wow, does that help!!! I'm reading an author by the name of Jen Lamcaster. She has several books starting with Bright Lights, Big Ass. I literally cry tears when reading it because she's got so many issues (weight being one of them) and her approach to life is so different than mine it kinda wakes me up, ya know? She has a huge ego and mouth to match and rises to the top of her career when she comes crashing down and learns a whole heap of humility. I don't know, the Jen Books just take my mind off my stuff even for a moment and I can get a better perspective of what's what. I've recommended her to bunches of women and they all say the same thing. Gosh girl... 139 down and still dealing with obsession- it just goes to show how hard we are on ourselves don't you think? I do and it makes me so sad and frustrated!! And I've noticed sometimes instead of just a kind word people want to turn everything INTO something huge. Ugh. So other than the Jen Books have you ever taken a yoga class? They are everywhere and sometimes you can find a teacher who is good enough to teach the basics (not all this crazy gym yoga) breathing, being mindful, stretching they can all be super empowering. For the past 10 years i go to an ashram in the Bahamas for a few days by myself and hit the reset button. It's great because there are people there from all over the world and no one judges, they are just there to take a step back from their crazy lives and prioritize. Plus it's stunning and relatively inexpensive! And there are only 2 meals a day and they are yummy vegetarian which i normally don't go for but there, it's amazing!!! I always come back a few pounds down and leave something that's been bothering me (maybe a bad habit) there on the beautiful beach on Paradise island. I trust the waves to take care of it. . Keep in touch and let me know how you are feeling, ok?

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Thanks so much for taking the time with such a thoughtful reply! It means so much to me!

Just the other day, I felt more positive. As with depression, I can go weeks in a funk and it's those times the food obsession kicks in. It's there in good times too but I can fight it easier.

I'm my own biggest critic (like most) and super self aware. I know I need to keep my brain busy and I've been working on that. I am also a huge reader and have been reading lots of mysteries lately. I so much appreciate the book recommendation! I will check it out.

It's been a year of reaching out for me. I usually keep all my problems, no matter how small, to myself. In the good times, I reach out. I suppose that since I can't stuff those feelings down with food anymore, I have realized I need to actually need to cope.

My problem, so to speak, is finding that initial motivation and getting past old habits. I work and come home. I live alone and don't have much of a social life. I've considered myself a loner but I see now that I need to spend time with people. I think yoga is a great idea!

Thanks so much again! I'm so glad to hear from you and take your advice to heart. I love that you have found things to help your anxiety and depression. It let's me know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Best Regards,

Amanda

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Hi Amanda, I am very sorry this has come upon you and I agree with Jaxmom on everything. Real yoga, not hot or gym, is a great idea. Yoga helps mind, body and spirit, also tai chi but personally i prefer yoga. Another thought is meditation or if that doesnt suit just getting in to nature. Can you grow some herbs or flowers or to atoes in a pot? Do you have a pet? You have done so wonderfully and it is a head thing, if it was heroin or cigarettes the doctors might listen but food? They have no idea it is just as hard. I think you have to pull everything out of the bag, by that i mean, yoga, meditation, diversions such as hobbies, affirmations, journals, nature, if you cant have a pet can you spend a couple of hours in a pet shelter? Whatever works for you, write a bucket list and pick whatever works when the mood comes on you but make some things permanent. I wish you the very best, you have already showed how st4ong you are, so know that each episode will pass. Do you have a support group nearby?

I don't have advice except to say for many people the initial weight loss is "do-able" but the long haul is where it gets tough. I hit goal in Feb 2013 and I would say that 2013 was a year of ups and downs emotionally. I don't think I had food obsession - more like coming out from the emotional "cloud" of obesity left alot of raw emotions.

I d say don't be afraid to pursue medications and counseling as well as leaning on people for support. It's not easy but so worth it.

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First off, congratulations on your excellent weight loss efforts.

Maybe keep those junk foods out of the house. If they are for others, maybe put them in an out of the way place, like the basement or in other room outside of the kitchen? It shows that you are 5'2", if necessary, place them on the top shelf so you will need to use a step stool to reach them or put them in a locked cabinet.

Make healthy alternatives such as a 10 calorie Jello with low calorie whipped toping and fresh berries, baked kale or sweet potato chips, etc.

Find distractions away from the kitchen or television.

You are not alone. Don't feel discouraged.

Edited April 25, 201610 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO

Thanks everyone. I just looked up yoga and am going to try to go.

The problem is I keep food out of the house but when I obsess over it, I HAVE to go get it. I can think of nothing else. It is a serious addiction. I'm actually very lucky to have found a dr. that takes it seriously. My program has a general practitioner that specializes in bariatric issues and he is so supportive.

I have pets...they are the loves of my life. Two kitties.

I am working on getting support. We have a group but sometimes I just can't make myself go. I need to. I feel good today. I need to remember the feeling.

It feels good to finally talk to people. You guys are so great. I couldn't be more thankful for the kind words and advice.

Now to stay motivated!

♡

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This article may help. I'm just starting out on my WLS journey and since I have to wait 6 months for insurance - I figured I would get ahead of the game and get counseling on emotional eating and mindless eating. Good luck! Stay strong!

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/diet-weight-loss/emotional-eating.htm

Have you read The Emotional First Aid Kit by Cynthia Alexander? It's a great little read about dealing with the emotions surrounding food and how to cope with it. I've read it several times, and I still refer back when I need a quick "tune up".

Intuitive eating by Ellen Tribole. This is what eating disorder specialist use.

@@jaxmom, you have me intrigued. Is there a website or other info on this ashram? I think I might have found something else to put on my bucket list!

I listen to Brene Brown on YouTube a lot, she may help you as well.

The yoga ashram is that i have been going to for years is the Sivananda Ashram Retreat in the Bahamas. It's located just down the beach from Atlantis but is a million miles away in terms of experience. If you google it it will give you a year long calendar of weekends and speakers. It's for people of all faiths btw- meaning not strictly for Hindus. There is a set daily schedule- up at 5:30, meditation, yoga on a beautiful beach platform (all levels even newbies welcome) then brunch. It's all vegetarian, super clean no caffeine food. Delish. After brunch you are free to listen to a speaker, snorkel, hang in a hammock or do some karma yoga. At 4 there is another yoga class, followed by the second meal of the day at 6. Meditation at the temple at 7:30. Lights out by 10. They have a variety of accommodations for every budget- you can stay in a private room, share a room, they even have super fancy tents set up if that's what you are into. It's not a spa by any means but they do offer body work and amazing massages that are really reasonable. It's kinda like a hidden paradise. I love that there are people from all over the world, all ages. Like i said, great place to set a reset button. If you go let me know- I'm always looking for an excuse to go!!!

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The yoga ashram is that i have been going to for years is the Sivananda Ashram Retreat in the Bahamas. It's located just down the beach from Atlantis but is a million miles away in terms of experience. If you google it it will give you a year long calendar of weekends and speakers. It's for people of all faiths btw- meaning not strictly for Hindus. There is a set daily schedule- up at 5:30, meditation, yoga on a beautiful beach platform (all levels even newbies welcome) then brunch. It's all vegetarian, super clean no caffeine food. Delish. After brunch you are free to listen to a speaker, snorkel, hang in a hammock or do some karma yoga. At 4 there is another yoga class, followed by the second meal of the day at 6. Meditation at the temple at 7:30. Lights out by 10. They have a variety of accommodations for every budget- you can stay in a private room, share a room, they even have super fancy tents set up if that's what you are into. It's not a spa by any means but they do offer body work and amazing massages that are really reasonable. It's kinda like a hidden paradise. I love that there are people from all over the world, all ages. Like i said, great place to set a reset button. If you go let me know- I'm always looking for an excuse to go!!!

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Thank you! I will definitely let you know. I first need to be confident enough I can get off the ground to take a "real" yoga class before I commit to something this intense. But, it sounds heavenly.

Jaxmom, that ashram sounds heavenly. I do meditation at a Sivananda centre and enjoy it very much, but your place sounds perfect.