I have so very many friends whom I love with all I have. I know they are on my side and have been for many years. They are worried about my Bariatric surgery. They have friends who have done the surgery then gained it all back again. I know those people. I'm questioning it all tonight. I ate a big cheeseburger for lunch and thought maybe I should just live as a happy fat man. I just hate the way I look in the mirror. Or how hard it is for me to teach and talk at the same time. How have others on here handled this?

Thanks DJMohr for your honesty. I'm trying to make a good decision between bypass or sleeve. I'm not wanting the dumping and stuff that goes with bypass but I also think if I eat the right things and stay on the recommendation diet I should be fine. No matter what I chose I think it definitely is a journey that is for sure.

VSG Ann I think you are exactly right. My friend doesn't want to face changes perhaps , I know she wants the best for me, and is worried about my safety and health, but I've had other obese friends in the past make fun of my diet or worse enjoy reminding me that I will just gain it all back again, as if I'm just a fat failure.

Hearing from all of you has helped so much. Thank you. I'm planning on this forum to be my number one support!

I always feel better when eating healthy just have to find other rewards for life and stress mechanism. There is such a blizzard of crap food shoved at us every day in commercials, ever notice how all the people in fast food commercials are in shape and young? What BS.

Thanks everyone and keep writing!

And don't forget Tom--you can still have a couple of bites of the Hub's adobo, it's good protein! Just skip the rice and lumpia. (OK, now I'm craving adobo...)

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...can you tell my surgery is soon and I'm hitting all my favorites while I can? I'm a bad bad boy!

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HaHa silver. He just made Beef Calderata

Doh! Now I'm drooling like Homer Simpson. I LOVE Filipino food...(and doughnuts--no wonder I look like Homer). All that ends next week!

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Good thread. At 65 years old, I can speak as the old guy. For over 40 years, I lived with being very overweight very well. No huge health issues, traveled the world, ran a small farm, etc. Sure, I had long term high blood pressure and had to order all my clothes on line, but overall, not too bad a life, certainly successful in my field of work. The Drs. always said "Just wait, it will catch up with you" -- I largely ignored these inputs.

Then, at 59-60, it all fell apart. Heart attack. Type 2 Diabetes. Edema which limited mobility. sleep apnea. Back surgery as my spine would not continue to hold it all..... funny, turned out the Docs knew what they were talking about, who would have thought?

So, at 64, bypass, one year ago today. All co-morbidities gone except sleep apnea, which in my case is likely more genetic than physical. From 56 waist to 44, still shrinking... I echo what others said, best thing I ever did... and I can get down on the floor with my grand baby and and here it comes --- get back up again!

What a wonderful,Inspiring thread. Some new. Some veterans. Seems like many of us want to change our lives for the healthiest selves we can be.

All I can add is it is work.... Daily. I happen to fight my demons off in the grocery store. If it is not available at home, I most likely won't be going out

Others use support groups, therapy, undergo plastic surgery... These are some of the proven ways WLS patients can help their long term results. I certainly did all of them and am thrilled almost 9 1/2 years out to be successful and very healthy.

I wish luck to every person whose life has been determined by obesity and feels like they are ready to change. Truly change.

Sadly, I'm aware WLS does not work for everyone.

Good thread. At 65 years old, I can speak as the old guy. For over 40 years, I lived with being very overweight very well. No huge health issues, traveled the world, ran a small farm, etc. Sure, I had long term high blood pressure and had to order all my clothes on line, but overall, not too bad a life, certainly successful in my field of work. The Drs. always said "Just wait, it will catch up with you" -- I largely ignored these inputs.

Then, at 59-60, it all fell apart. Heart attack. Type 2 Diabetes. Edema which limited mobility. sleep apnea. Back surgery as my spine would not continue to hold it all..... funny, turned out the Docs knew what they were talking about, who would have thought?

So, at 64, bypass, one year ago today. All co-morbidities gone except sleep apnea, which in my case is likely more genetic than physical. From 56 waist to 44, still shrinking... I echo what others said, best thing I ever did... and I can get down on the floor with my grand baby and and here it comes --- get back up again!

Thanks for sharing that. It reflects what I felt was going to be happening if I didn't make a change. I appreciate the validation of my decision.

Yes I love this thread and the honesty. Wow Julie I'm very proud of you nine years and counting. Amazing and it is work work work. I am ready to do it. I'm trying to overcome literally decades of self denigration, self loathing, and the inner voice that was implanted in my young brain that I am a worthless piece of crap. The whole village I grew up in supported and promoted this view. I've come a long ways with lots of therapy, love and good friendships. The removal of my protective layers of fat comes next. It is so foreign to think of me first. Time to do it

Don't listen to "Negatives"... If you sit there listening to reasons why you should sit and stay fat and unhealthy then so be it..but if you are trying to take control of your health and life in order to "live" then step forward.

This is the main reason I didn't choose to divulge...too many Dr.Phil's without a clue.

Pink girl so very true . I need to stay firm in my decision and that's that. This week I'm informing my doctors of my managed health care system who basically laughed and said I'd never qualify and my plan doesn't cover it anyway.

@@Tommy Joe,

These are some deep thoughts, which is good because the decision to have WLS is a big one. @@FrankiesGirl has a lot of good points about establishing habits in the first year or so so that you can prevent weight regain

Maintaining weight once you hit goal is a lifelong challenge. It’s harder for some than for others. It’s easier if you develop good habits while you’re in the honeymoon post-op phase and if you replace the role of food in your life with other things, such as different hobbies, more (or deeper) relationships with people, and more activities.

I understand where you’re coming from with that fear of not being able to do it if you are still enjoying cheeseburgers. That’s where many of us came from. If you’re not sure if you can do it, maybe you can do a mock “pre-op diet” and see if you can stick to it. Maybe that will give you confidence.

It’s important to weigh the pros and cons. As @@Cervidae asked, is it possible for you to be happy the way you are now? If not, that makes your decision a little easier!

Good luck.

Alex

First thank you so much for not only your words but for starting this group and site. It has been a godsend to me. I am grateful that I can be honest on here, grateful that people can post anything they are feeling and not censored. That makes your site, workers and Bariatric Pal Mexico very authentic and trustworthy.

My biggest challenge will be replacing the role of food in my life, it has been the center of my life much of the time. I've been successful with weight loss in the past when I had accountability and was good for two years, but then the program got shut down and away I went.

I am thinking about the diet trial, although I've been ok on just about every diet as long as I stuck to it and know I can again. Thanks for your suggestion I am thinking to start cutting back and go very strict before surgery.

I am not happy right now. I'm happy when gorging but feel so sick after that I wish I had not eaten the stuff. Acid reflux and lactose intolerance, I have many direct reasons to eat healthy.

I made my deposit and bought plane tickets.

Looking forward to talking to Dr Illan on Tuesday!

Thanks again for your personal attention and for this site

TommyJoe

There are risks to every surgery. You have to weigh that against the risks of being overweight. For me, I was 38, had high blood pressure, insulin resistant, and morbidly obese. I have 3 family members DIE before the age of 49 due to obesity and heart issues. I did not want that to be me. To me, it was worth the risk. Also, I had just given birth to a child 6 weeks before. Nothing is scarier than that (LOL). More people die of factors due to obesity than die from surgery. Yes, you could gain it back, but the success rate of those that meet their goal weight is MUCH higher than those who just try to lose on their own. Ultimately, only you can make the decision, but I have NEVER regretted the surgery. Wished I would have done it years ago!