If another person tells me I don't need to lose anymore weight... How can I still be almost 300 pounds and NOT look like I need to lose more weight?????????????? People and their perceptions.

"How much more weight are you going to lose???"

"You're going to disappear" (FAT chance of that happening)

"I don't think you need to lose anymore weight. You look great!"

Thanks for your concern. It's nice and all, but I'm not done.

RANT OVER....

@@madeline121 If you think that's bad, no one (except my immediate family) said ANYTHING to me until I lost 100!!!!

I've had the same experience. I've lost 53 lbs (pre and post op) and I've had a total of 3 people say something to me. One was a coworker and the two other people are people I deal with related to my job. However, I am okay with this.

Edited April 11, 201610 yr by animallover1247

I've only lost 20lbs since 3/18 that was preop and surgery was 3/30 people are noticing in my face but all I get is are you sick? they even went as far to whisper to my cousin and ask if I'm sick. I don't know why they can't just say you've lost weight congrats.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My experience....

People who knew me when I was fat, thought I was getting too thin. People who didn't know me when I was fat, have never intimated I was too thin. It's all about perception. Feel free to rant, but truly...it's not worth it. I couldn't wait till folks stopped talking about my size and three years post banded, I'm there. Yes...friends and family recall me heavier, but they have gotten used to seeing me my current size, which is great as far as I'm concerned. And folks I've met post weigh loss, only know me as I am now...which is also great.

I still weigh more than most people starting weights. At 293 pounds, there is nothing small or skinny about me. It's just freaking ridiculous.

I'm hoping people adjust sooner rather than later. I think I'm struggling to accept the changes myself as I have never experienced life as an adult under 300 pounds. I do feel like a stranger in my body from time to time. I think people's comments about are giving me anxiety or making me insecure. This truly is a mental process.

I am now approaching 70 pounds lost and I am frequently getting comments that I am melting away or am a skinny mini! It took more than 30 lbs for my loss to even be noticed, except that I think I lost all 30 of those pounds from my face! I am going to see a group of friends on Friday who I haven't seen since January. (about 30 lbs lost). No one noticed then. I will be interested to see what they notice now!

You know where you need to be to be healthy. This is between you and your doctor. They aren't a part of that equation so they have nothing to say about where you stop. Thanks for your concern, but I have it under control.

pam

My experience....

People who knew me when I was fat, thought I was getting too thin. People who didn't know me when I was fat, have never intimated I was too thin. It's all about perception. Feel free to rant, but truly...it's not worth it. I couldn't wait till folks stopped talking about my size and three years post banded, I'm there. Yes...friends and family recall me heavier, but they have gotten used to seeing me my current size, which is great as far as I'm concerned. And folks I've met post weigh loss, only know me as I am now...which is also great.

This! I want people to stop talking about my size. Don't tell me I am too thin now (I can assure you I am not) and the more I lose the more people feel they can ask very direct questions which are truly none of their business. I have a thick skin and I am not easily offended but lately people's questions are getting to me.

I still weigh more than most people starting weights. At 293 pounds, there is nothing small or skinny about me. It's just freaking ridiculous.

I'm hoping people adjust sooner rather than later. I think I'm struggling to accept the changes myself as I have never experienced life as an adult under 300 pounds. I do feel like a stranger in my body from time to time. I think people's comments about are giving me anxiety or making me insecure. This truly is a mental process.

FYI....I went into therapy at 100 lbs. down as I had body image issues. Could not recognize myself and it was very difficult to be happy with the weight loss when I had these other issues. Turns out, I needed her help for two years as I went from morbidly obese to now being petite. I recommend it for anyone who is losing a considerable amount of weight as it is very much a mental thing along with the physical changes.

I first got my band in 2008 I was at 315 - I'm at 259 now, working on making it lower because last summer I was at 250, but had the fill taken out of my band to prepare for sleeve since I was having issues with food getting stuck and was told I had a small slip. I gained 20lbs - had them refill my band and I'm working on losing it again.

Anyhow, my point to all this - was I would go shopping for new tops with my sister and I'd pick out the same size I would always get before 3 - 5xs and she's like Manda put those back! you're not that big anymore! and she'd pull off a 1x and it would fit... I'm still heavier then I want to be obviously that's why I'm trying to get the sleeve done, but that really helped me to get perspective on how I looked vs what I was...

When family or people who love you speak to you in care--and listen to your response--I get that, and even appreciate it. When coworkers or casual friends say (unsolicited) things like they did to you, @her1981, then it's a different story.

"Thanks, I'm feeling great! But enough about me, lets talk about how much I think you should gain or lose!"

"Gosh--how lucky to get free medical advice! And to think my doctor charges me for his professional care..."

"Really? You liked that movie too?..."

Okay, yes, catty responses. All ones I can say with a smile and a laugh, instead of telling the person to back off and keep it to themselves, no matter how well-intentioned.

kick their freaking shins and scream, "You asssholes, get the fucke away from me. Stinking, low-life morons."

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch

awwwww, come on bud

tell us what you really think!!!

kathy

Just say-" Bless you" and change the subject. People that do not have a weight problem do not know what to say. Expect that, and you will not get frustrated. Best of luck to you

Or you can use "Well bless your heart." Anyone not familiar with the Southern use of the term, see:

http://www.newsobserver.com/news/local/news-columns-blogs/article69230257.html

awwwww, come on bud

tell us what you really think!!!

kathy

It's cathartic for me to spew such language. Friends laugh when I toss out some words. They say it's so rare that it sounds funny coming from me and that the rarity makes it all the more effective. I think my mouth has been pottier in BP than it has in the past three years everywhere else.

Yeah don't listen to people who tell you to stop losing weight. I can see if you were in mid onederland or something but 300 lbs. Yeah it's bizarre that they'd say that. Plain and simple they are full of it and just want to keep you from succeeding either that or they're being phony. I'm relatively new to the weight loss surgery game but I think life has a messed up way of trying to bring you down when you're winning and people can be down right evil. Just ignore them or make them feel stupid if it annoys you that much but you keep going toward your goal and don't let anyone's bs hold you back. Do not listen to them I don't think they have good intentions. I think they're just trying to throw wrenches in your plan.

my mouth has been pottier since BP

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch

of course it has

we seem to talk about diarrhea and constipation and all that other shitttyyy stuff

if it helps you, talk away, go for it!! LOL

btw - you meant to say bariatric surgery, NOT bariatric pal!!! LOL

right?? LOL

you can say anything you want!!!

you've lost lots of weight

keep up the good job

kathy

The beautiful thing is that when you get a few years out...nobody remembers the "bigger you" and the trimer new becomes your new normal. So maybe you don't have a good enough relationship to talk it through...so smile and nod....in a year they won't remember..ha!.

@@CowgirlJane

as i get older (but feel younger)

i worry about my eyesight

reading your good post above

i was afraid I was seeing double, triple etc

next post following too

then i realized you accidentally must have pushed the enter button

a few times, repeating the same statement!!

(post 14 & 15)

phew i can postpone my urgent eye doctor app (shrink too) LOLOLOL

great statement though

again, and again, and again and.............. LOL

who loves ya baby???

i do, i do!!!

kathy