For many weight loss surgery patients, it takes a while after surgery before people notice something’s up. If they don’t know about your WLS, they may not realize you had it or that you’re trying to lose weight until you’ve lost such a big chunk that they can’t help but notice how good you look.

One reason not to tell a lot of people is that a lot of us are secretly or not-so-secretly afraid right at the beginning of the WLS journey – what if it doesn’t work for us? For some, we just don’t want to share our personal details with outsiders who may not understand why we made our WLS decision and what we’re going through to lose weight and get healthy.

For whatever reason, people may not realize you’ve lost weight until you’ve lost a lot. It may be a couple of months after surgery before anyone notices. It can even get a little discouraging for a while if you think nobody’s ever going to notice your hard work.

But then it happens. One day, someone asks you if you’ve lost weight…and after that, you may get asked all the time. It sure feels good…at least, to some of us. Others are shy and don’t like any comments, even the most innocent, on how we look and act.

When was the first time someone noticed that you lost a lot of weight? How did it make you feel?

I had surgery in June and it was probably October before people started noticing. I was secretly glad because I told very few people about my WLS, and I doubt the people who noticed my weight loss in October connected it to my absence from work in June.

I'd probably lost 60 lbs at that point - but then, given my BMI, I'm really not surprised it took that big a drop before people started noticing.

Good topic Alex. Good reply catwoman7. I thought my family and friends were just very slow or didn't pay any attention seeing me till I read your reply. I had lost over 50lbs before anyone noticed and said anything. I wasn't terribly big (BMI of 36) in the first place so it was pretty obvious. Every time I saw family members I laughed inside and wondered how much longer it would be. It felt nice when they finally said something.

Now their comments let me know they are just waiting for me to gain it back. Since they don't know I had surgery that also makes me smile. Both my son and DIL lost 25+ pounds last year and have regained it all already. However my son has seen me lose weight before and keep it off for many years so I guess they are basing the expectancy for me regain on their own experience. I just keep telling them at my age now I can't regain as I want to remain healthy and able to do things I enjoy as long as I can.

My WLS was in May and we left work (school) for the summer in June, so I had only begun my journey. Although family and close friends saw me over the summer, most knew about my surgery and were very encouraging. It was really when I returned to school at the beginning of Sept that I encountered that "WOW" factor. I hadn't seen my colleagues for almost 3 months and I was 4 months post-op with a significant loss. One person didn't recognize me and thought I was a new staff member at first! Most people just assumed that I had spent my summer dieting and exercising.

My WLS was in May and we left work (school) for the summer in June, so I had only begun my journey. Although family and close friends saw me over the summer, most knew about my surgery and were very encouraging. It was really when I returned to school at the beginning of Sept that I encountered that "WOW" factor. I hadn't seen my colleagues for almost 3 months and I was 4 months post-op with a significant loss. One person didn't recognize me and thought I was a new staff member at first! Most people just assumed that I had spent my summer dieting and exercising.

I took a full six weeks off work after surgery and elected not to tell anyone that I was having weight loss surgery. When I went back I was down by 25 pounds, which wasn't really noticeable to me, but judging by the wide range of reactions I got, it was plainly evident to my co-workers. I really didn't think it would be that visible that soon.

It's still surprises me even now at 8 months out whenever I run into anyone I haven't seen for awhile.

This past weekend I went to visit the parents of my childhood best friend, who died of cancer 10 years ago. I've made it a point to visit them at least once every year since their daughter died. They've known me since I was 10 years old, and I was overweight even then.

I had last seen them just before I had my surgery and I had even told them all about it beforehand. Yet when they answered the door it was plainly evident that they had no idea who I was. Instead of throwing open the screen door and embracing me warmly, as they usually did, they kept the screen closed and hesitantly asked if they could help me. I was stunned for a moment realizing I would actually have to tell them who I was. I know in my mind that I'm over a 100 pounds down, but unexpected reactions like this are what really drives home the reality of how much you've actually changed. It can be quite surreal sometimes.

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People may have noticed, but didn't really say anything until about 70 pounds lost, which was getting close to my goal weight at that point. Really.

My theory is that people have seen me so many times in different stages of weight loss as a serial dieter, they finally felt safe to say something because it looked like it was going to 'stick' this time. And at that point I'd lost more weight than I'd ever had before, too.

The first time anyone noticed (or at least told me they noticed) was my first post-op surgeon's appointment. My mom went with me and as we were walking in my mom said that I seemed to be "jigglier". I laughed because I had noticed the same thing.

Then, the ladies in the front office also said they noticed a change.

In the beginning I got comments but it seems this last two weeks they have been coming out of the wood work. I was mobbed last week at church but people coming over, but I also wore some new clothes. My thoughts were, I was here last week. lol Feels good.

I have had a couple of instances of running into acquaintances in a public place who probably didn't recognize me.

I'm only 1.5 months out, so early in the game. I'm down almost 50 lbs and only 1 person has noticed. It isn't really a huge deal to me, as I only told a handful of people close to me about the surgery to begin with. I'm not one to really talk about my weight openly, so I'm sure more have noticed and just not said anything to me.

A week or so ago, a coworker who hadn't been around much lately stopped in to say hi. He all of a sudden blurted out, "you've lost weight!" I laughed and he said "I shouldn't have said that. Sorry". I told him about the surgery and we had a long chat. He was the first person who I know had no idea about surgery who has commented. I had lost 55 lbs at that point. Now I am at 63 pounds and when I saw a bunch of family and friends this weekend who knew about surgery and I hadn't seen since before surgery, they couldn't stop commenting on how great I look now. My sis-in-law has been taking photos of my journey for me and we did our 3.5 month photo on Saturday. I look off my tshirt and had a black tank top underneath and she just gasped! I didn't get to see the photo but I assume its obvious.

pam

I'm only 1.5 months out, so early in the game. I'm down almost 50 lbs and only 1 person has noticed. It isn't really a huge deal to me, as I only told a handful of people close to me about the surgery to begin with. I'm not one to really talk about my weight openly, so I'm sure more have noticed and just not said anything to me.

I lost 50# before people really started noticing and then it was everybody noticed! Once I lost about 100# people thought I was "great" - and at goal even though I was still around 200#. Of course, that is because nobody fathomed I would become normal sized - not sure I fathomed it either.

Urg...I've lost 70lbs and not one person has said a thing to me. It is very discouraging and frustrating.

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Urg...I've lost 70lbs and not one person has said a thing to me. It is very discouraging and frustrating.

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that happened to me as well - but then, everyone started noticing all the same time - like all within a week or two. It was sort of weird. I was puzzled why suddenly everyone noticed at the same time - when I'd been losing weight all along.

I've lost 27 pounds so far and haven't really heard any comments from anyone. It's hard to notice weight loss on me because in addition to being chunky, I'm also tall, so when the weight comes off it's not as noticeable. I won't expect anyone to say anything to me until I've dropped at least 50 pounds and maybe not even then. It is frustrating because the number keeps dropping on my scale but my clothes don't feel *that* much different. My fat pants (that got too tight right when I had my surgery) are finally starting to feel normal again but I still have to strain to button them up right out of the dryer (why do they always shrink?!)

I think people who haven't seen me in a long time notice, though. I ran into an old colleague and she gave me the up and down look while we were talking. Didn't ask me though.

And to those who are discouraged: I rarely ask someone about their weight loss unless they bring it up to me. I don't want to embarrass them. I did that on accident when I was in college - my boss was a very big guy (around 500 pounds I'm guessing) and every week he got smaller. I was really impressed and I blurted out "Holy cow, you're losing so much weight! Did you have surgery?" Then he got flustered and changed the subject. Lesson learned, don't be nosy.