So my sleeve is scheduled for April and I think it is time to tell my family. I am very nervous because I don't know what to expect. I have an aunt who had some complications with a bypass so I am sure it will be brought up. I am not necessarily afraid to tell them, but I just don't feel like dealing with problems. As far as I am concerned it is really no one's business what I do, but my wife wants me to tell at least my parents and siblings. I am totally excited for my surgery and my wife and kids are totally on my side. I have all of my research ready for them and I am ready for questions. Just not sure how to tell them. Any Advice?? Thanks!!

Since you're ambivalent about telling the family, you don't have to until you've given it more thought. If anyone seemed opposed to your aunt's surgery before she actually had it, hold off on revealing your decision. Maybe you'd feel more confident telling them after the fact and your weight loss begins to show?

I didn't tell my parents or my brother. At 43 I don't need permission, they tend to worry a lot so I wanted to save them the stress. Plus my mom already thinks my waistline is open for discussion.... Why add to my stress? My relationship with my parents is long distance but very loving. Their concern for my weight is concern for my health. Next time they see me what a sweet surprise! And worry free for them. My point it is your decision not your spouses decision on who you tell. My husband and only 3 close friends know. My young children have no clue what the operation was about.

So far, I've only told my wife, daughter, my mom, my brother, and two friends who had the surgery. I may tell more people but for sure not until I have insurance approval first.

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Personally I haven't told my extended family. My husband, parents, and sibling knows about my surgery. I live out of state from most family and I don't really find it to be their business. I shared with my parents that I didn't want them sharing about my surgery and they haven't. If and when I see my family and they have questions I would be happy to tell them. I not interested in hear all the "horror stories", or about their friend, or what they have read about the surgery. So by the time they find out I'll be able to tell them MY experience rather than hearing about another persons.

Thanks!! My wife understands that it isn't up to her who or when I tell but, she will in fact have to deal with them should something come up. Again, she backs me 100% but I think it shouldn't be her that has to contend with questions from my immediately family if I am gone for a couple of days!!

Among all my family members, only my husband knows.

I had ZERO interest in having all those conversations with my *opinionated* family of origin.

Only person who knows is my husband, because I have to drive out of state 3hrs for every appointment most people think I am shopping when I say I am going out of town.

Listen to your heart. If you already know you're going to get negative push back, why bother wasting your time. I wouldn't say a word. And when they notice the new slender you, that's when you tell them. :-) All the very best to you! Much success!

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to tell or not to tell is a very personal decision - I tend to be pretty open, and I am more or less immune to other people's opinions, really because once I have made a decision I have considered it a while, and from all sides. It is hard to get me to change my mind.

Some of my family were worried about the aspects of this that are life changing - one example, is for 30 years they've seen me with a coke in my hand - it is an adjustment. and surgery is always a worry. but because I had to wait over a year for my surgery due to an issue they found during approval, everyone who was worried at all had come around and I have had good support.

I do tell people, quite honestly, that I had surgery on my stomach (sleeve) due to my diabetes. off all diabetes meds since surgery. it has helped friends to not see it as a cosmetic solution. they can't argue if my doctor recommended it for a medical problem.