I am due for surgery in April (yay!), however I have weekly music practice on a Thursday, part of which is a team dinner. There are 20 people involved, but I'm not close enough to them all that I would feel comfortable telling everybody about the surgery. I am involved in running the team, so I can't not be there. I plan to take a few weeks off at the beginning, but any suggestions on how to navigate the first few months would be greatly appreciated!

I'm going to start restricting my meal sizes at team dinners now, so that it's not a dramatic change post surgery.

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You can order Soup.

I usually order a regular dinner that will reheat well, and eat a few bites. Something like steak or grilled chicken. Or I order an appetizer.

If you start doing that now, and alternate with a regular meal at these dinners, then I think it would be less noticeable when you make the entire switch.

If anybody says anything, you can always say you're trying to watch what you eat.

Sorry. Should have specified. It's premade. Someone prepares a meal for the team. And it's usually something very starchy.

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I think you'll find that most people don't pay much attention to what or how much you eat. Of course, if you start bringing your own meals (which you should if the group meal is starchy), people will likely notice that! If anyone comments, just say something like "my doctor has me on a strict low carb, high protein, small portion diet since my weight really isn't healthy."

All true, and if you invoke your doctor and your health, I've found that everyone is pretty much willing to let it go instead of saying something like "it's just this once! One serving of lasagna won't kill you!"

It's perfectly acceptable to make a specific request. Talk to the person making the meal or catering it and explain what you need. You can always blame it on your doctor without being specific.

If you were vegetarian, or lactose intolerant, or allergic to peanuts, or something similar it would be expected to let the person preparing and/or providing the meal know about any dietary restrictions.

Just politely let them know what you need. If they can't accommodate your request then you have the option to bring something you can eat.

In today's world so many people have different eating plans ( clean, paleo, keto, gluten free etc). I had a lunch meeting this weekend and declined the lunch portion. I opened my Protein shake and said no thanks I'm doing lo carb/ hi protein right now. No one thought anything of it.

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Honestly just put a little on your plate and nibble and nobody will notice. I've found that people only notice two things, one is an empty plate and two is if you make a fuss about it. Ive had many group meals since my surgery including thanksgiving dinner and nobody has noticed.

If someone does comment just say you're trying to eat a little less. Thats it

So here is what I do... I lie..... Flat out lie. I say I have a special diet due to food allergies. Everyone seems to be more accepting of food allergies than " I am watching what I eat." Since many of my co-workers are vegan, or vegetarians, it's not a problem when I say food allergies. So I thank them for the food and just pick what works best for me.

Really - after the first time, no one even questions anymore.

I know its really hard.. be strong.

Don't sweat it.

Relax.

Eat a bite of what interests you and move along through the meal.

its not a big deal unless you make it one.

It's all good.

Eat a little of the protein and keep moving things around with your silverware. It'll give the illusion that you're eating more.

DON'T STRESS, AND DON'T ALLOW WHAT YOU'RE EATING/NOT EATING TO BECOME UP FOR DISCUSSION...

I was at a conference just this past week I am only 4 weeks out. I ate fish very slowly and enjoyed the conversation.

Thanks everyone! That was my first post and I totally love this forum! So helpful. Thanks so much!

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Start bringing a protein shake now. It will help you get used to protein shakes. Help you learn to resist, and later if you start losing fast, people will assume it is because of your new lifestyle because it is.

Pour some Ensure protein plus in a water bottle you can't see through and sip on your liquid dinner while pushing food around, maybe nibbling here and there, and i doubt anyone will notice. And if they do, just have a practiced response in your back pocket that you're comfortable with. Examples: "ugh, my stomach just hasn't been right the last few weeks. But it's fin, my Dr. Is working with me to make it right...*change subject. That is NOT a lie, but you're not divulging more than you're comfortable with.

I think everyone is missing a golden opportunity here. She could go the route of the "cross-fitters" and "vegans" and tell EVERYONE, whether they want to hear about it or not.