Sitting here today at 169lbs. 5'7 and honestly feel really good.

Everyone I see says how great I look and how I am going to blow away in the wind. I still don't see it but that's a topic for another story. Anyway, while everyone says how skinny I am and how great I look my BMI still says I am overweight... My surgeon and I agreed to 145 as a goal weight so I am on my way there but what everyone else is saying about me and to me is really starting to wonder if I should continue to shoot for 145.

Anyone else deal with this? I can't be logical about it because I still feel like I am overweight and still see the "fat girl" in the mirror.

Congratulations on your successful weight loss.

You need to select a weight that you can reasonably maintain and are comfortable with.

As far as "the fat girl in the mirror", that image will go away as you gain even more self confidence.

I still feel a little self conscious looking at myself in a mirror or wanting to be photographed after all of those years of trying to avoid them.

If you want to stop because truly deep inside you think that this is your weight, and you cannot possibly continue on . then fine. stop. But if you are stopping because you think other people think you look better? or because you ant to quit or think itll be easier. Then do not stop. Maintenance is not easier than losing. Its actually harder. There is not magic, I hit my goal, now ill stop , button or plan. It doesn't work that way. You aren't Dieting. you are changing the way you eat for life. For your ENTIRE LIFE. not just a short period. The journey NEVER ends. You can't switch it off. unless you want to fail.

We call this a journey because it is a never ending journey. It is not a destination. If you want to say YAY I hit my goal! fine go for it. is it your best? Did you do all you possibly could to make this happen for you? Are you happy being overweight?

These are things only you can answer.

Oh, what the hell. Go make your fantasy weight!

At 145 pounds and 5'7" you aren't going to be unhealthy. You'll definitely look different to those who've known you for years as overweight / obese.

If you hate it, you can gain 10 pounds. Trust me, that'll soon be easier than you can imagine.

And if you love it, you can maintain there.

You really do have more options than you might think.

P.S. All the fat people in my life think I'm too skinny. And all the skinny people in my life think I look great. #duh

Everyone is an expert on how much I should weigh -I advise growing a thick skin on the topic.

So, statistically, and actual mileage will vary, people regain a few pounds from their lowest weight. I didn't want to stop at 180, and wind up maintaining at 200.

It is a very personal decision with no right or wrong. I think it's ridiculous self punishment to try to maintain below where your body is most comfortable, but people who have known you as obese will take YEARS to get used to your slender self. The only people who accuse me of getting to I'm (I am not) have weight problems themselves.

I'm still over a "healthy" BMI for my height, but I don't want to drop a single pound. In fact, I'm already 6 pounds below goal and struggling to eat enough calories to stop losing. My body fat percentage is only 21. That is a FAR more important number to me than weight or BMI and it was to my nutritionist as well. She wanted me to get below 25% and here I am at 21%, training for a half marathon! Blew that goal out of the water! Who cares about some arbitrary chart that doesn't take body composition into account or some completely meaningless one dimensional number on a scale?!?!

You've gotten a lot of good input here, especially about how others see you. It takes us time to learn to see ourselves smaller - but there is a byproduct for those around us, too. They see a very dramatic change, and their eyes are used to seeing us supersized. What weight is what is right for you, not anybody else. It isn't about BMI or weight charts or anything else - it's the weight you feel strong and healthy and confident with. Let that be your yardstick, not other people's opinions.

I think I have shared this before - I have 2 close girlfriends. They are both about 2" taller then me.

S - she is very petite, fine boned. I outweigh her by 35-40 pounds!!!! I am not fat, I just have a robust build and she is very small, narrow shoulders, chicken legs. It is kind of funny (to me) that she dresses to hide her skinny legs because they really do look skinny.

M- not as petite, but still fine boned. I think she currently outweighs me by 10 or so pounds, but wears much bigger clothes - especially on the bottom. She has no waist and definately has extra fat around the hips and thighs. She looks good probably 10 pounds less than me.

Me - naturally muscular build, or as i like to say "athletic" with relatively broad shoulders and robust bone structure. When I got down to 140, which is well within normal BMI for my height, I had protruding bones on my back and was constantly bruised. I had perma bruises between my knees from sleeping on my side....

Ilike being right about 150, which i the very high end according to the BMI chart. I wear single digit clothes, that is my real goal combined with good health.

BMI is just a guideline, and in general people with good muscle mass will "weigh heavy".
I say focus on health and what YOU want because you are the expert on you...

One other comment, I got down to around 160-170 and my ex said "I was noticing at the grocery store that you are smaller than most women in our age range. Of course, that is because everyone has gotten so fat." Not exactly tactful, but he is right. Our sense of what is normal has really been warped since so many people, even young people are quite overweight and yet consider it normal.

I am with you. I am 5'4" and 136. My BMI considers me in a healthy range, but not my much. My doctor is satisfied, but I don't necessarily see what everyone else sees. I have stalled for over a month and it is stressful. I battle between eating more because my nutritionist says to eat more and eating less because I am not losing. It is definitely a battle.

Thank you everyone! I agree that it really should be up to me (and of course my doctor) what my weight should be to stay healthy. I honestly just find it so hard sometimes because of the way that I see myself. I'm not used to seeing a skinny girl and sometimes I let what others say to or about me get into my head.

I am going to keep going. We said 145 and I think 145 is what it should be!!

Excuse my opinion but I think the BMI number is bs... For example, my son is a very fit, athletic, low body fat guy - and his BMI states he's overweight. Because BMI is only height and weight, not muscle tone/fitness or fat % - so how accurate is it really? So I take the BMI number with a grain of salt...and go by how I feel, my medical health, and fitness.

Excuse my opinion but I think the BMI number is bs... For example, my son is a very fit, athletic, low body fat guy - and his BMI states he's overweight. Because BMI is only height and weight, not muscle tone/fitness or fat % - so how accurate is it really? So I take the BMI number with a grain of salt...and go by how I feel, my medical health, and fitness.

Totally agree. Go by body fat percentage, although an accurate percentage is not always convenient to get.

I have a scale that varies within an 8% range in a single day! Obviously my fat does not change so much that quickly; the number is greatly influenced by hydration level. Even the calipers aren't very accurate: someone has to be well trained in their use to get an accurate measurement. I suspect that "they" came up with BMI as an easier, if less accurate, substitute for body fat percentage.

My Dr had me use a weird breathing contraption that measured my metabolism. The printout from it also included my body fat percentage, although it boggles my mind how they came up with that.

I think other people have as much body dismorphia about our weight loss as we do sometimes! I had people telling me to stop when I was around the same weight as you, though you have an inch on me. I ignored them and went on with my Drs plan. He told me I was good at about 160, (my health problems were resolved) but I could feel free to find a comfortable weight down to 135. I went down to 145 and decided to stop reaching a low of 137 once. I've lived in the 140-150 pound zone for maintenance for 2+ years. Incidentally, the comments about getting "too skinny" stopped after others got used to my "new normal". They consider me "fit and healthy" these days.

I've posted before about my issues with BMI charts and what's considered "normal." At my 6-month follow up with my surgeon, he told me to expect to start hearing people close to me say that I'm losing "too much" weight and to ignore them--they are used to seeing me 100+ pounds heavier, so their perceptions are way skewed. And sure enough, my mom (who ironically was the one who brought up the idea of WLS in the first place) and a couple other people have commented on how thin I am. But people who have just met me seem to just think that I'm a smaller, petite person. I'm still well within the "normal" weight range for my height, and I still want to get more muscle tone. Like others said, I do want to be under my goal weight so that I have room for the "bounce" that is typical.