I never thought I would let little stuff bother me because I'm pretty much an open book... Well I kept my journey to myself, family and of course my employer because of using my insurance... Everyone seemed to be very supportive... I don't know why I thought I was any different or why I thought I'd be immune to people's opinions.. but I guess I'm not..

Peoples opinions and statements can be flat out hateful and unsympathetic.. I've heard "your better than that," "you just have to put more time in at the gym," "I knew someone who does from that," " it's all in your mind."

I wish I said nothing to anyone..

I am so sorry you are getting responses like that! I told everyone about my surgery (seriously, I am a talker and tell EVERYONE - 2 perfect strangers while shopping today for example). I have been very lucky not to experience negative talk. They may be doing it behind my back, but what I don't know can't hurt me. Having said that, my very first thought when I read what people have said to you is that I would have told them to F*(! off. Seriously do not understand why people feel the need to give their opinion on this rather than encouragement or just silence. "You're better than that" really ticks me off. How dare they?!

I don't have any advice at all. I just wanted to say I feel righteous indignation on your behalf!

Im sorry people are just booty hats.

Edited February 5, 201610 yr by GibbsGirl

Meh. People are very ignorant when it comes to WLS. Pay no attention to the ignorant reactions. It's your body, your life.

I must have resting b*tch face or something, because I have NEVER gotten a negative reaction when I tell someone. I don't give them a chance to be negative about it. I just say it very matter of factly. In the tone of this-is-what-I-did and-if-you don't-like-it-I-could-give-a flying-f*ck'.

Just do that.

I'm sorry Bsanders. I wish people weren't so rude! I haven't told much of anyone either just for that reason. I don't want to hear it! Period. Message me if you need to talk

"I will pray for you" and walk away. They are left standing with NOTHING to say. Every situation needs a "hero".

Don't lower yourself to their level. You're better than that!

Thanks for the replies... Usually comments don't bother me but it was getting old.. Your right my decision and I know it's the right call in my situation.. No matter what anyone else says, no matter the limitations and pain with getting the sleeve I know in the long run it will be the right call.. ????????

Maybe you can steer clear of those individuals, and now be a little more private. My husband determined the sleeve was HIS business and it keeps our life uncomplicated. I respect him deeply and I don't tell. I was sleeved too.

For whatever reason, people think it's on to have and give an opinion on this aspect of a persons medical life. I have been fortunate, though I have also been very selective in who knows. And those who know also know I don't really care for their opinions so it would do no good to voice it lol, as I'm going to do as I please. I think, however, I might give a response along the lines of, "I'm so pleased you've never faced these challenges, though it does make it harder to understand, I see. But thank you for your concern for my well-being."

I mistakingly told my co-worker that has never had a weight problem. At first she tried to talk me out of it, then she excitedly said, "I can't wait to see the real you." Seriously?!? Am I not me now? Then she scolded me and told me I better follow the plan exactly and not cheat. WTF Thankfully my boss interrupted our conversation before it escalated.

Hey, don't let it get to you man, some people are just jerks. if they respond inappropriately, just use that as a red flag not to listen to what they have to say - something wrong with them, not you.

I never thought I would let little stuff bother me because I'm pretty much an open book... Well I kept my journey to myself, family and of course my employer because of using my insurance... Everyone seemed to be very supportive... I don't know why I thought I was any different or why I thought I'd be immune to people's opinions.. but I guess I'm not..

Peoples opinions and statements can be flat out hateful and unsympathetic.. I've heard "your better than that," "you just have to put more time in at the gym," "I knew someone who does from that," " it's all in your mind."

I wish I said nothing to anyone..

Just like you I have told no one, I am scared to. I have heard it all too, its always going to be our fault according to some people. The most important thing I would say to remember is that you did this for you, no one else. We did NOT take the easy way out having WLS. This is our tool to help us on our journey. I'm working on this one, but "It is not my business what other people think of me."

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Very true, Erossi. What a person says or thinks about someone is more a reflection of themselves than of the person they are targeting - always important to remember that.

I struggle with fear of this reaction myself, but I do know better and I'm working on getting over my own fears.

My counselor once said something to me in another context that I think works really well here... don't let them rent space in your head.

I mean, we are not responsible for anyone else's happiness or misery, and we can't control what they think... but we CAN control what we think, and frankly space in our minds it too valuable to waste on those who cause stress, inadvertently or otherwise.

Mind share is a gift we give to those we love and care about.

Evict 'em, baby!

I struggle with fear of this reaction myself, but I do know better and I'm working on getting over my own fears.

My counselor once said something to me in another context that I think works really well here... don't let them rent space in your head.

I mean, we are not responsible for anyone else's happiness or misery, and we can't control what they think... but we CAN control what we think, and frankly space in our minds it too valuable to waste on those who cause stress, inadvertently or otherwise.

Mind share is a gift we give to those we love and care about.

Evict 'em, baby!

I like it !! Well said!! I think, I personally am harder on myself than anything.. But when I would compound the BS comments from others... I would naturally bring my self down even more.. Then I'd bring on the comfort food.. They ain't renting that space with me anymore!! Thanks a lot.. Made perfect sense !

It can be tough at first when folks start grilling you about being off work and the reason for it.

So many folks instantly assume that we all have wls simply to look better when in most cases it's about feeling better and getting healthy.

Never ceases to amaze me at how folks scoff at getting healthy.

You are early in this deal. It does get much easier later on. I can assure you of that. As the weight comes off and you feel better each day your concern over other's unsupportive comments will diminish just like your belt size.

Stay the course and get the results you want. It'll get easier in all aspects.