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Guys, keep your comments to yourselves

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I was out for a run and towards the end of my run, a guy in a truck slows down rolled down his window and yelled out a comment about how I looked running. It totally killed my mood and my run. I stopped and started to walk. Luckily I was at mile 4.5 and only planned on running 5. I don't know, maybe I'm so used to having snarky comments made about my size that it took me right back to the "fat girl" that still lurks below the surface. Same thing happened at the park a few weeks ago, I was running with a friend and 2 guys hanging out in the parking lot shouted out comments every time we passed. It was annoying and because of their tone and choice of words, made us feel borderline unsafe.

Seriously, guys let me finish my run in peace. I don't need you rolling down your window to comment on my legs, arm, chest, etc. I certainly don't need to feel unsafe. If you think it's endearing, it's not. It's rude, obnoxious and creepy and I damn well guarantee it will not get a positive response from me.

Thanks for letting me rant. I guess it proves to myself that I am not a fan of unwanted attention and long to fade into the background!

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Featured Replies

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Very few women actually enjoy being catcalled. It's embarrassing, demeaning, and degrading. The men that do it don't actually think they are going to get a date out of it, it's just an aggressive tactic to put a woman in her place (as a sexual object for men's consumption).

I'm not surprised to hear that it made you feel unsafe. Strange men shouting sexual slurs at women are situations that rarely end well. God forbid you told them to "piss off". Who knows how they could have reacted?

For example, a woman was just shot and killed for rejecting a man at a bar. He waited outside after closing and shot her in the chest. This isn't the first time it's happened and it won't be the last.

Men who respect women don't catcall. They may think "damn she looks good" in their head, and that's totally fine, but they don't call out at women and belittle/scare them. TL;DR - I hate catcalling!!!

  • Popular Post

Full disclosure, I admit there have been times I've done a double take and exclaimed "Damn!" while driving down the street... but I was by myself in the car, with the windows rolled up and did not slow down/stop or make myself obvious.

That being said, to the guys that make a habit of catcalling out of a car, I wonder what they think the possible outcome is? I can't think of a single male friend that has ever told me a story that started with "So I was driving down the street when I saw this girl running in yoga pants..." and ended with "... and then she hopped in the back of my car."

Ugh...this makes me so mad.Just be careful.This is why I bought a treadmill.Sad....

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I am squarely in the camp of believing that catcalls are completely inappropriate and a form of assault. Whether they are "complimenting" or "criticizing", they are unwelcome and very disturbing.

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ill never understand it, hell ive felt bad just thinking how hot or not hot someone looks out exercising. i cannot imagine the gigantic ass filled ego it takes to be such a d*ckbag.

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As a member of the "Y-Chromosome" club, I apologize for those of us that still drag our knuckles.

That was a very degrading thing for those men to do.

I for one believe that women should be placed high upon a pedestal -high enough so you can see under their skirts. :)

My running partner is particularly gifted in the trunk department. I am top heavy, but also have a large belly so I am pretty much invisible. I never even knew what it was like to be catcalled until Kari and I started working out together 18 months ago. Without fail she would get catcalled or slow drivebys or whatever every time we worked out. At first I thought it was kind of funny because I was still invisible, but the more it happened I realized how annoying it could be. Then one night we were coming back from a night time race and needed to switch from the light rail to my car. The McDonalds parking lot had a sizable group of young black men, the age and race demographic that most often comments about Kari's backside, hanging out. Kari rushed us to get in the car. Once there she explained that she has had groups of men surround her and not want to let her on her way because they felt they had a right to "admire" her backside and that she should be pleased by the attention and if she rebuffed there advances, they would get very angry. She said it was really scary and she didn't want us, two women alone, to have to try to deal with it. We were fortunate that they paid us no attention, but it really illustrated the dangers and problems with catcalling, etc.

Although I still don't get the attention, wanted or unwanted, I am much more cognizant of the comments made towards others.

Take care and be safe!

pam

  • Popular Post

@@stacyrg1

My inner fat girl had to give myself a comment scale.

(1) Appropriate complimentary..I will take and acknowledge.

(2) Hilarious. Makes for great stories to tell later.

(3) Creepy..Need we say more....

Safety:

Pepper spray with dye..Not only does it burn, the dye will stay on the perpetrator for identification...Love it!

http://www.amazon.com/SABRE-Red-Pepper-Spray-Strength/dp/B003BORC8A

Mix up your route that you jog. I also have a GPS tracker app. My hubby has the password. He can track where I am. Another perk..It automatically logs your exercise in to myfitnesspal.

http://www.mapmyrun.com/

Some advice.This is not to scare anyone its just a reality check:

Trust yourself when you feel unsafe. Understand that sex offenders are in our population. you can look them up in your area to get an idea of how prevalent they are in society. Also many have not yet been identified or caught by law enforcement...

https://www.nsopw.gov/en/Search/Verification

  • Popular Post

Catcalls...ugh...

I did have one positive experience. I walked by a man working on surveying. He simply said "Beautiful...just beautiful" while looking me in the eyes. Then went about his work again. Others, I felt like I could kick them in the 'nads.

  • Popular Post

Yeah there's a huge difference between "You're beautiful" and "Hey baby nice t*ts!" Being yelled across a street!

Me. In groups worries me..,,

Men

Being a guy I never understood cat calling, it doesn't make sense and never ends up with the woman wanting the dude because he commented on her attributes. Nobody should be made to feel unsafe, sorry you ladies have to go through that.

  • Popular Post

I run on the treadmill at the gym and I usually wear very loose clothes so no one pays attention to me (that freaks me out if I think people are watching me while I'm working out). However, I have a new problem at work.

Backstory: I've always been overweight and was never once offered sex, drugs or rock n' roll in high school OR college. I was the fat, witty, sarcastic girl you wanted on your team project (because I'll do all the work) but don't want to date.

Fast forward over ten years and now I'm a loan officer. When I was still overweight as a loan officer I struggled with sexism. Men would tell me to my face they would prefer to see the male loan officer (who would then lie and say I was the "specialist" and give them back to me). Now I'm dealing with these customers talking only to my chest or hitting on me. I had one guy have a 30 minute conversation about buying a home while staring at my boobs the entire time. I'm a modest woman. I never show cleavage at work and usually have a sweater on to tone them down a bit. It doesn't seem to matter. I've had multiple men flirting with me and I want SO badly to respond, "Would you speak to my male coworker that way?" but I don't want to lose any business just because I'm sensitive. (If it were assault I'd tear them a new one.) Hell, I've been considering dressing super cute every day and drumming up some business around the community. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? Ugh. I can't. It goes against everything I believe in. I shouldn't have to flirt with someone to get their business. They should want me to help them because of my reputation.

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