A friend at work told me her MIL had WLS. As this friend has always known about my being banded, she had no problem telling me her obese and ill (comorbidities such as Type2 diabetes and hypertension) MIL finally decided to do something about her situation and had some type of surgery. (She's not sure which one).

It's now about five months since mom had surgery and my friend tells me she hasn't lost much weight at all. I was surprised that it wasn't noticible after this much time but now I know why. Friend had her in-laws over last weekend and she said her MIL ate basically the same way she did before surgery. The only difference she could see was the amount was somewhat smaller but otherwise, she was eating the same food she ate before. Bagels at Breakfast, bad choices at lunch and dinner....and still drinking both wine and hard liquor. Including mixed drinks with high sugar additives.

I can't begin to tell you all how much this bothered me. Why have surgery if you're not going to follow the rules? How did this get past her meeting with the psychologist? Why waste the opportunity when I see so many on these boards who desperately want surgery and can't get it.

Anyway...that's why I put this is rants & raves. Can't do anything about it even though I'd like to shake this woman into appreciating the opportunity she was given..and has decided to throw away.

@lauraellen80 thank you! That is probably par for the course for most of my posts. (I'm a fast typer.)

After reading this entire thread, I am just going to say this sorry if its offensive. Ignorance is no excuse. You are responsible for gathering the necessary information for success. The use of my "failed surgery" term is too loosely used. A failed surgery is that which due to a medically unforeseen complication resulted in unforeseen adverse challenges. Refusing to wrap your brain around lifestyle and behavior challenges and necessary changes is a "patient failure". Excuses are just that and you won't find any of those in medical journals. Sorry if your feelings are hurt or you feel like you are being judged. That's life, you don't get a participation trophy in WLS.

I come down on the side of patient failure versus sleeve failure. I'm only three months out, maybe I can remember to revisit this post in a year and see if I feel the same. In five years, will I be more... Forgiving? Empathic?

The comments about too stupid to succeed struck a chord. At four weeks I had to attend a nutritional reminder session about transitioning from stage two to stage three. Everyone in the room had been through twelve weeks of options classes. At least eight of those classes discussed the no drinking with meals rule. When the instructor asked how much everyone could currently eat, most said somewhere around a half cup. One lady piped up, complaining that she just didn't understand why five weeks out, she could eat an entire taco bell large burrito. And she could even drink a large glass of milk with it! Someone asked why she was drinking with her meal, and her response was, "it wasn't Water, so it was ok". Ok, forget the whole why was she eating taco bell burritos, HOW could hours of teaching go right over her head?

The instructor wasn't even surprised, which says a lot.

i don't think those people are too stupid, i think they weren't ready. There is a huge difference, and it highlights how little the psych evals actually do to determine whether or not a patient is prepared for surgery. food is so much more than just fuel, its an emotional bandaid, a social lubricant, for some, an only friend. An hour or so and a few assessments don't fully get at a person's relationship with food, nor can it determine whether or not a person has the capacity to change it. I am a therapist (MA in last year of PsyD), and i have my own therapist (as many of us do for self-care), and i know how often people are dishonest on assessments (especially when there is no buy in for being truthful...like denial of surgery) and that it takes more than one session for a client to feel safe enough to start being honest about their methods of coping and problematic behaviors. What bothers me is that people are being approved without adequate screening...people with histories of eating and substance use disorders that may not be stabilized or may need more in depth therapy for preparation of the changes that will occur with surgery. I can't be angry at people for continuing to use their methods of coping when they haven't built up another to take its place...

Edited November 13, 201510 yr by SweetPotato

By the way being below average intelligence is not being dumb, it's having an intellectual disability. Some one who's dumb has a normal intelligence they're just not using all of it.

I don't feel anger at those who make bad food choices down the road - that is part of life and their choice. What gets my engines fired up are those who have obviously done zero research on their chosen surgery before having it done and those who are risking their health during the first six weeks of healing.

It makes me physically ill to see the posts from people who are 4 or 5 days out and asking for permission to cheat. There is a lady on my surgeon's facebook page that was eating grapes and meat 5 days after her sleeve surgery. The post op nurses nearly fainted and got her straightened out. This lady went through the same company as I did so I know that she was inundated with information and apparently chose to ignore/not read it. The after care nurse emails your list of approved foods each week so you are prepared. Another lady was eating crackers a week post op. I don't get it. You have major surgery and then can't be bothered to make sure you heal properly and not rip your new stomach? At least let it heal so you aren't risking your life with a blow out.

I understand and live the fight of changing your eating habits and the constant war in your head. I did months of heavy research before deciding to do this and understood what I needed to do pre and post op. I guess that I expect too much out of others to do the same? There is so much information at our fingertips in regards to this surgery and it is as easy as googling vertical sleeve surgery to get started.

I have a friend who recently told me that she is getting sleeved on 12/29 and she's doing it because I am her inspiration. I was just sleeved on 10/22/15 so it's only been a few weeks and I didn't announce the surgery until I was 4 weeks post op. She didn't even call me to ask who did the surgery! I worry because she is the type to leap before she looks. I asked her to give me a call if she has questions. She said she has tons but hasn't contacted since.

It's not my problem.....It's not my problem.....It's not my problem....

Regaining weight is my biggest fear. I weight myself daily and make sure to get over 60 grams of protein daily. Every blue moon I will have a craving for pizza and will have a slice. It has been over 4 months since I've had a slice o pizza. Like others I weigh myself daily. I was 256 when I started this journey 4/2014 and as of today I am 150lbs. People have to realize our old eating habits is why we needed surgery.

Keep reminding that bypass surgery was tool not a cure.

An acquaintance had lap band many years ago. Her eating habits, pre-surgery, included drinking at least a 2 liter bottle of Coke (full sugar) per day. She didn't lose any noticeable amount of weight post-op, probably because she didn't give up her Coke habit. Eventually, she had the lap band removed because it interfered with her eating habits.

Some people aren't introspective enough before surgery. Maybe they think it's a cure-all, or maybe they think they'll miraculously get the willpower after surgery to eat right and exercise. Personally, I have thought long and hard about the causes of my fatness and how, specifically, the surgery might help. I'm still deciding whether or not to have it, but I think I have a pretty good handle on what the surgery will and will not do. Yes, it reduces portion sizes, but it definitely won't cure a 2 liter bottle of Coke per day habit.