This rant has been building for quite a while in my head. There are things happening on this forum that are driving me insane. First though, I want to point out that this is about no person in particular. If you think I'm talking about you, I probably am but not intentionally, it just means you've been doing one of these things.

1. READ PEOPLE - I have read quite a few threads lately where people are arguing with the OP or the OPs supporters and even name calling for no reason other than they can. They want attention and interrupt intelligent conversations with their belligerent views that are usually entirely irrelevant to the original topic. I firmly believe you can say anything you want, it’s how you say it that matters. Arguing with someone for the sake of argument and then calling out that it’s a free country and you can say what you want only emphasizes the fact that you have no business other than seeking attention. If your point were valid, you wouldn’t need to defend it with “because I can”. If you truly want to argue against the OP’s view point, use intelligent arguments and refrain from taking anything personally. No one is here to bully anyone else and jumping to conclusions only serves to interrupt what otherwise might be useful information.

2. GRAMMAR!!!!!! Seriously! Most people on here are pretty good about using complete sentences and proper punctuation, but there are some that make me cringe like this……

• Can yall tell me what kind of Protein u drink cause my dr said I need protein and I want to lose as much as possible and Ive been slow so far so I think I need more protein and if u could tell me that would be great cause there telling me to get it from Walmart but I dunno what flavor I want

BTW – that was entirely made up as an example and not quoted in any way.

OMG SERIOUSLY!!! I don’t even respond to post like this because I would immediately start venting about the way it’s written.GO BACK TO SCHOOL if you think this is appropriate!I do not claim to be perfect.I am sure I have made grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes but at least I try.I proofread before I post and I make an effort to make sure my posts are readable.If your posting is similar to this, don’t expect a response from me.

3. Not doing your research – This forum has been open for years! The question you have has probably been asked a thousand times. I’m sure I even asked some of the same questions in the beginning. But, it seems like more and more lately we (I see the same group of people responding regularly) are answering the same questions over and over. What kind of protein, how much, exercise, etc. If you would just do a search for the topic you want to discuss before posting a new thread, we could keep everyone active and probably spread some great information. Instead we have 15 different people asking if they should weigh every day and we have the same people answering all 15. I do agree some threads are so old that none of the members are active anymore. However, many of the main topics are being discussed by current members and don’t need to be reiterated in a new post just because you want to be the one asking the question. If you find the thread that has your topic, just follow it and you’ll be able to access for future reference. Or unfollow it if you got what you need! Also, if you do ask a new question, don’t be vague. Don’t ask how much you should weigh if you haven’t provided your gender, height, lifestyle, etc. Google is good at vague, try that if you have no other information.

There’s my rant. Just typical crap that I’m sure every forum suffers through. Thanks for reading.

Edited to correct numbers

Edited April 1, 201511 yr by beachgurl84

People being mean in any way.

· “I made the best decision.”

· “You’re not doing it right.”

· “You should have known this already.”

· “You have to…”

· Etc.

well, I can definitely understand grammar issues, I am known as the grammar police among my co-workers. This rant gave me a good laugh. I understand, really...

myfav's are Irregardless is not an actual word. The word you should use is regardless.

and

I could care less”,actually means you do care

OOOOOHHHH I Love when people say "I don't worry about nothing"

Of course you shouldn't worry about nothing. It's everything else you should worry about.

From what I understand, they don't teach cursive in many schools. Maybe they teach kids or kids learn to type and have autocorrect. That might explain some of the issues?

I've been typing since childhood so I have actually forgotten how to write cursive. I learned to write it but schools were starting to get computers then and everything had to be typed. It became obsolete for me.

I only read a few pages and skipped to the end, but this was just one thread I couldn't keep quiet on. I understand that it drives people crazy when the same question is asked over and over again, but I just have to wonder if some remember back to when they were a "newbie" and Bariatric Pal was their main source of information. I do realize posters sometimes don't use the search to see if the question has been asked before. You also have people like me, wanting to ask a question but frantically searching all the forums for a question like some crazed timid little new kid and then just about stroking out with anxiety before hitting that POST button in fear of what others may think of your question. I spend about 30 minutes searching if it's been asked before and worrying that a reader may give that "behind the computer eye roll". Nobody should feel that way on an INTERNET forum. I can't just pick up the phone and ask my surgeon's office how scrambled eggs went down the first time they ate it?!?! That is what this site is for! And about the grammar, it's shameful that people don't take into consideration that years ago some didn't get proper education. For instance, my mother is now a very well-off upstanding woman who has worked her ass off for everything they have along with my dad. What have they made a living off all of their life??? Farming. She grew up very poor and farmed the rice fields all day every day. They didn't have time for school nor were they told or made to go. They were made to WORK if they wanted to eat. She later in life married my dad, learned to read well, and got a GED. She had twin girls who ended up being a Nurse Practitioner and an RN after a full ride to college. What can she not do? SPELL!!! She's not lazy, she just struggles with grammar, punctuation, and spelling. She had bypass and won't post on here for fear of sounding stupid and people silently mocking her about it. I had an amazing education, but it was my non-grammar using parent who busted her ass to save money so that I could enjoy having the luxury of learning properly.

I highly suggest reading more. Congrats to your mom. Sounds exactly like my grandmother that did what she needed to do and knew there was always more to learn and made the effort to make herself the best person she could be.

Well.... my take on spelling ( as a former spelling bee coach) is you either "get it" or don't.

Many educated people use spell check for a reason...

I understand you can read more and practice your spelling, but for many it just doesn't come very easily.

My father, who was a hard working successful man, could compute interest rates and payments in his head, yet never had a good grip on spelling. Just my take????

The only item I would take issue with is someone who is conducting him/herself in a way that is not polite and supportive. I have always seen and experienced polite and supportive conversations on these forums, even when we've had opposing viewpoints. But there are two other bariatric communities where I was attacked and I wanted to share my experiences with everyone in light of the OP's post.

The first time I was attacked my response was to attack back. My natural instinct is to be very aggressive when provoked. Well, that was a battle that just led to more and more attacking between me and the community. Nothing was accomplished. There was no victory or defeat. I finally ended the argument by having the entire conversation removed.

The second time this happened was on a different community. But this time I did not attack back. I asked questions to understand the posters' points of views and/or explained where I was coming from. It led to both "sides" understanding each other and in that understanding was compassion. Everyone learned something and everybody won that day. A couple of people were even courageous enough to apologize and I was very grateful for that. I learned, too, that the way I had presented my story had resulted in the reaction that I got from some of the folks in the community. The entire exchange was an opportunity for all involved to grow and there also was healing in that, to be acknowledged and understood feels very good.

Food for thought...

This is taking off on a tangent, but I want to endorse the call for kindness. There is another bariatric website that I read, but have never posted on because some of the members tend to be judgmental and acerbic. I'm not a timid person, but I don't thrive in situations of conflict. I don't want this website to become like that one and I wince when I feel someone has responded unkindly or sarcastically to a poster who clearly needs information and support. I don't think we need more rules or Internet nannies to read and approve our posts. We all have our own way of expressing ourselves and a right to say what we think in our own style. I just hope that we can all remember that we are here to give and receive support and that the people who feel supported by sarcastic responses are probably in the minority.

Silence!!!!

Can I add that it bothers me when people reply to the post without actually reading what it says? So many times I see people give all the information in the original post and then will see people respond with a comment asking something that was clearly written in the original post. Its fine if you don't read all the comments, but please read the question if you are going to answer it.

Sigh. Just sigh.

As the wise sage Confucius said: "It is better to be pissed off than pissed on".

That was the worst fortune I ever found in a fortune cookie.

a lot of people type on small mobile devices, grammar is not always easy to come by

Sitting here having my morning coffee(s), and after reading the latest posts, this thought popped into my head....I'm glad this is the internet and I do not have to meet some of these people face to face....and if the opportunity did arise, as in some big members convention, I doubt I'd want to go. Not to mention local chapter meet and greets...

I can't stand it when people pass judgement on everything you say and do....

Ok, you're superior to everyone else...feel better?

And that's me...a tough old man of 63 years who has seen just about everything in this world...maybe that's why I have become so tolerant and understanding.

And what about the poor young newbie, perhaps from the sticks who never finished High School, or a poor third world country, and maybe English is not their primary language......(they're here, I can tell)

They have a serious weight issue and are looking for help and guidance.....and not be suppressed to pass a "Literacy Test"

I'd just hate to be locked in a room with some of you...you may feel the same....and that's fine with me.

Now I'm off for work, have to see patients in clinic today....maybe, instead of focusing on their needs and why they came, I'll sit and judge their educational, cultural and economic background, instead of what their actual needs are and how I can help.

With all due respect, wouldn't that be Obesity Help? I've heard a lot of negative things, and got the same treatment there. I'm not sorry to say about that place, because they earned the reputation.

Seriously, we are all going to be judged no matter what you do. It can be by your boss, your family, who becomes your friends. The ability to write a complete sentence and appear to speak proper grammar is a necessity. If you go to a retail store or the 7-11, the ability to clearly communicate makes a difference. People don't want to go somewhere where someone can't make themselves understood. What it indicates is how you respect yourself and the culture of what you are saying to others. If you want someone else to volunteer their time to help you, most want that respected. How you approach that tells someone willing to help everything. If they have the choice between helping one person that they need to "decipher" what their saying, with everything else being equal, they would choose to not help that person who can't express themselves well.

This is not always a moral judgment as much as it is the way things are. Group morals can be a good thing. Being overweight can be accepted but is it always good for us? Think about how many have said their health improved after getting WLS. The pressure to be something else (skinny) is a positive.