This rant has been building for quite a while in my head. There are things happening on this forum that are driving me insane. First though, I want to point out that this is about no person in particular. If you think I'm talking about you, I probably am but not intentionally, it just means you've been doing one of these things.

1. READ PEOPLE - I have read quite a few threads lately where people are arguing with the OP or the OPs supporters and even name calling for no reason other than they can. They want attention and interrupt intelligent conversations with their belligerent views that are usually entirely irrelevant to the original topic. I firmly believe you can say anything you want, it’s how you say it that matters. Arguing with someone for the sake of argument and then calling out that it’s a free country and you can say what you want only emphasizes the fact that you have no business other than seeking attention. If your point were valid, you wouldn’t need to defend it with “because I can”. If you truly want to argue against the OP’s view point, use intelligent arguments and refrain from taking anything personally. No one is here to bully anyone else and jumping to conclusions only serves to interrupt what otherwise might be useful information.

2. GRAMMAR!!!!!! Seriously! Most people on here are pretty good about using complete sentences and proper punctuation, but there are some that make me cringe like this……

• Can yall tell me what kind of Protein u drink cause my dr said I need protein and I want to lose as much as possible and Ive been slow so far so I think I need more protein and if u could tell me that would be great cause there telling me to get it from Walmart but I dunno what flavor I want

BTW – that was entirely made up as an example and not quoted in any way.

OMG SERIOUSLY!!! I don’t even respond to post like this because I would immediately start venting about the way it’s written.GO BACK TO SCHOOL if you think this is appropriate!I do not claim to be perfect.I am sure I have made grammar mistakes and spelling mistakes but at least I try.I proofread before I post and I make an effort to make sure my posts are readable.If your posting is similar to this, don’t expect a response from me.

3. Not doing your research – This forum has been open for years! The question you have has probably been asked a thousand times. I’m sure I even asked some of the same questions in the beginning. But, it seems like more and more lately we (I see the same group of people responding regularly) are answering the same questions over and over. What kind of protein, how much, exercise, etc. If you would just do a search for the topic you want to discuss before posting a new thread, we could keep everyone active and probably spread some great information. Instead we have 15 different people asking if they should weigh every day and we have the same people answering all 15. I do agree some threads are so old that none of the members are active anymore. However, many of the main topics are being discussed by current members and don’t need to be reiterated in a new post just because you want to be the one asking the question. If you find the thread that has your topic, just follow it and you’ll be able to access for future reference. Or unfollow it if you got what you need! Also, if you do ask a new question, don’t be vague. Don’t ask how much you should weigh if you haven’t provided your gender, height, lifestyle, etc. Google is good at vague, try that if you have no other information.

There’s my rant. Just typical crap that I’m sure every forum suffers through. Thanks for reading.

Edited to correct numbers

Edited April 1, 201511 yr by beachgurl84

The ability to write a complete sentence and appear to speak proper grammar is a necessity. If you go to a retail store or the 7-11, the ability to clearly communicate makes a difference. People don't want to go somewhere where someone can't make themselves understood. What it indicates is how you respect yourself and the culture of what you are saying to others. If you want someone else to volunteer their time to help you, most want that respected. How you approach that tells someone willing to help everything. If they have the choice between helping one person that they need to "decipher" what their saying, with everything else being equal, they would choose to not help that person who can't express themselves well.

From your sig:

If you don't help others out, why should they help you out? All can share and support.

Seriously, we are all going to be judged no matter what you do.

Oh goodness!! I will stand in the front of the line as the judgiest judger!! I own it, it's who I am, and I am not always proud of it.

That said, I know not to do it OUT LOUD. That's just rude.

With all due respect, wouldn't that be Obesity Help? I've heard a lot of negative things, and got the same treatment there. I'm not sorry to say about that place, because they earned the reputation.

Seriously, we are all going to be judged no matter what you do. It can be by your boss, your family, who becomes your friends. The ability to write a complete sentence and appear to speak proper grammar is a necessity. If you go to a retail store or the 7-11, the ability to clearly communicate makes a difference. People don't want to go somewhere where someone can't make themselves understood. What it indicates is how you respect yourself and the culture of what you are saying to others. If you want someone else to volunteer their time to help you, most want that respected. How you approach that tells someone willing to help everything. If they have the choice between helping one person that they need to "decipher" what their saying, with everything else being equal, they would choose to not help that person who can't express themselves well.

This is not always a moral judgment as much as it is the way things are. Group morals can be a good thing. Being overweight can be accepted but is it always good for us? Think about how many have said their health improved after getting WLS. The pressure to be something else (skinny) is a positive.

That said, I am not THIS judgmental. Sheesh. Nope. Can't agree with this at all.

This might be how YOU choose who to help and who not to help, but that doesn't necessarily hold true for me at all. There are some very well spoken people here that I have NO desire to help based on their attitudes, their level of need to be a martyr or victim and how THEY treat others.

Admittedly, there are some posts I skip, like those that are presented as wells of text with no spacing or punctuation and those that are written in cursive or light color, but only because I don't have the patience to read them due to my old lady eyes.

As I stated earlier, bad grammar and spelling makes me cringe on the inside. That said, I was a teacher for children with special needs. I am also the daughter of a (very successful) dyslexic, high school drop out who built a HUGE company from the ground up but refuses to email or text because he's afraid of being judged by others. Perhaps I am just more compassionate based on MY experiences.

@@mrs kaje That's correct. However it does not mean that you will be taken seriously. Like it or not, out in the business world how you present yourself is going to make a difference. The same is true on any forum. When I have the choice to help several people, the one who can express themselves in a manner where I'm not having to interpret the post, that's who is getting the help first.

Just as people (like admins) notice who is able to keep their cool in a problem issue, who appears to give sources that are reliable, it makes a difference.

I didn't spell their/they're right in my post. My apologies.

@@LipstickLady That was an explanation of fact of how the world is. You might disagree, others may or may not. It simply is a fact, nothing more and nothing less. Just like the judgment people get for being large, for having surgery, it is what it is. Whether I approve of the fact or not, doesn't matter.

However it does not mean that you will be taken seriously.

Again, you are only speaking for yourself, I assume, not the community at large.

@@LipstickLady That was an explanation of fact of how the world is. You might disagree, others may or may not. It simply is a fact, nothing more and nothing less. Just like the judgment people get for being large, for having surgery, it is what it is. Whether I approve of the fact or not, doesn't matter.

Nope. It's your OPINION. Sweeping generalizations do not equate to facts.

Not being Alex Brecher, that should be a given. However, reviewing the posts, it appears there are a contingent of people who do feel that way. I've seen admins who talk about it in private. (General, as in I'm not saying where that has happened.)

No, that's not an opinion. People are judged on how they present themselves. That's why so many have media consultants and those who present themselves in the public eye have publicists. Even on other forums the comments are made over and over how larger people, people who've had WLS, people who curse others out, Christians, Muslims, gays, everyone makes assumptions. I'd rather know and be able to deal with it, have a constructive conversation over it.

The point is some people may not get help or get all the help they need because of the way their issue is framed. If changing the message delivery (or using spellcheck) will help that, I'm all for it.

Again, you are only speaking for yourself, I assume, not the community at large.

@@LipstickLady That was an explanation of fact of how the world is. You might disagree, others may or may not. It simply is a fact, nothing more and nothing less. Just like the judgment people get for being large, for having surgery, it is what it is. Whether I approve of the fact or not, doesn't matter.

Nope. It's your OPINION. Sweeping generalizations do not equate to facts.

I highly doubt @@Alex Brecher would condone judging or evaluating someone based on their communication style via the written word. I can't speak for him, but I think he would find it disheartening to think that people would only help those who could "write a proper sentence or use proper grammar". (Your words from an earlier post.).

@@LipstickLady I get the impression this is more directed to a person (me) rather than in general. That's what I'm talking about, is people in general. If people want to give or not give support based on how/what they communicate, that is up to person to do so. I'm fine with it as I have no right to force any one to respond or say they're wrong for making that judgment. People do it all the time.

Pointing out that there are communication issues that, if resolved, would help get someone get better care, is a point probably worth listening to. That's really the bottom line of what started this.

Absolutely! I was directing my comments to you as you were giving your opinion as fact.

Why not ask a psychologist and see if what I said was fact.

You are quite persistent and rather than continue, this is my last word on the subject. I know bullying when I see it. I've had it happen before.

OK.

You have a great day!

@@LipstickLady, I actually find this whole conversation very interesting. If I remember correctly, you said that you don't bother to read posts that are difficult for you to read. How is that different from the rest of us ignoring posts that are difficult for us to read or understand? By skipping those posts that "are hard on your eyes," you're depriving those posters of help just as much as those of us who skip other posts, and it's based on nothing more than the "style" of the post and how difficult it is to decipher.

@@LipstickLady, I actually find this whole conversation very interesting. If I remember correctly, you said that you don't bother to read posts that are difficult for you to read. How is that different from the rest of us ignoring posts that are difficult for us to read or understand? By skipping those posts that "are hard on your eyes," you're depriving those posters of help just as much as those of us who skip other posts, and it's based on nothing more than the "style" of the post and how difficult it is to decipher.

You are correct. I do skip the posts that I am unable to read due to font, color or lack of spacing. I'm an old lady. If I can't read them, I can't answer them.

It's my OPINION that this is a much different issue than someone who may not have the education to communicate with proper spelling or grammar or someone whose first language is not English.

The bottom line? If I can read it and I have what I believe is a good answer, I will address it. I will not comment on one's lack of ability to communicate to my standards. If I can't read it, I won't respond. I hardly think MY answer will be the end all be all for anyone nor is my expertise/lack thereof a detrimental or instrumental to anyone's experience.

@@mrs kaje Like it or not, out in the business world how you present yourself is going to make a difference.

Yep, you're right - it sure does. Fun fact: this isn't the business world, nor are you grading an English exam, so there's no need for douche-level judgement.

It annoys me, too, however I suck at lots of things that the next bad speller could excel at - I'm not better than them just because I can string together a sentence. I don't think their opinion is invalid just because they can't articulate it.