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So I got some great support on here from people on here who called a spade a spade told me to wake up. Told me I was in an abusive relationship. I want to say thank you. I was. I was. It turned violent and instead of buying how it was my fault I'm sitting in my car waiting for my brother to take out the trash. I was able to see and I'm truly grateful for the support I wasn't even looking for... Didn't even know I needed. Looks like I lost a lot more dead weight than I was expecting