Apparently, my parents took care of informing my relatives about my surgery. I hadn't intended to tell anyone outside my immediate family until I was sure that this was going to work. Unfortunately, my dad took that out of my hands. Nice of him, wasn't it? :tired Now I'll get to deal with the well-meaning, but ultimately doubting, relatives about three weeks after my surgery, when we all get together for a stressful week of family fun (or not so much, since there are usually several fights and blow-ups during the week).

Them knowing wouldn't be so bad if I could have told them on my own terms. As it is, this is going to be a TON of fun. One of my uncles actually told me that he never believed that I could have done it, when I got a summer internship on Cape Cod, halfway across the country. I knew he meant it as a compliment, but it was sort-of backwards, you know?

:eek:Hi lauraend,

yes, don't you just "love" backward compliments. yes, my mom couldn't wait until she told everyone that I was going to have the surgery. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, people who I haven't seen in years now know - it really pi---- me off that she felt like just everyone needs to know my medical business. I kindly told her to bugger off from this practice of telling everyone she knows my business. I think I am repeating myself.

Take care and good luck.

shelli

Larend,

You just raise that chin and be proud. You are going to do it. You will do it. You sound like a strong person from your posts and I believe in you.

You will get the last laugh.

Know what I have noticed? My family, neighbors and friends ask me for advice and want me to walk with them ( whew ) . They are suddenly worried I mean inspired by me and want my help.

They start on the diet /exercise and give up. Just like me before.

Now my band keeps me full. My wonderful band.

edie

Laurend,

I was worried about you with "irritating" in the title.

edie

Larend,

You just raise that chin and be proud. You are going to do it. You will do it. You sound like a strong person from your posts and I believe in you.

You will get the last laugh.

Know what I have noticed? My family, neighbors and friends ask me for advice and want me to walk with them ( whew ) . They are suddenly worried I mean inspired by me and want my help.

They start on the diet /exercise and give up. Just like me before.

Now my band keeps me full. My wonderful band.

I tend to change personalities when I'm online. I'm totally different when I am talking to someone in person. I tend to be very quiet and, to be honest, easily run over. When I get online, it's like I don't have to hide and try to make everyone happy. In person, I tend to start sobbing when I get into face-to-face arguments. It's really quite embarassing.

I am just hoping so much that the band will be so successful that it will prove all them wrong.

Lauren...

I know it wasn't your choice to be "outted" like this, and before the surgery, even, but what's done is done and at least you won't have to stress over what to do if you get something stuck at the dinner table, or how to explain that you are only having Soup for lunch (or half a sandwich, with no bread).

And at least you will already have had the surgery when the reunion comes around, so people won't be trying to talk you out of it.

Having everyone know isn't as bad as you think. I tell anyone who asks about my weight loss. It's just easier, in the long run. People who eat with you on a regular basis are going to know something is up anyway, especially once you get a few fills under your belt.

Well, hey, who gives a damn what they think? Families are a pain in the ass sometimes. Luckily, mine is small. But you need to stand up for yourself and quit worrying what other people think. Are they paying for your surgery? If not, they have no opinion. You are still young and care what others think. When you get as old as me, you won't care. I just assume others think I'm wonderful and if not, they can take a leap. It works well for me. So apply that very good mind of yours and just argue with anyone who gives you trouble. If someone gives you trouble, you might point out that the person appears to have a superiority complex and ask the person if they think you should be doomed to be fat forever. Turn the argument back on them. It works and they may admire you for it.

One of my friends has the habit of saying that while you can choose your friends your family is a curse sent to you by God.:phanvan I have always appreciated his comment. Too bad that you are not more assertive in person for you are such a fine dragon-slayer on-line!

Nevertheless, you will soon be banded and this will be a fine thing indeed. And you will then be able to PB on your worst relatives. :faint: In the meantime, look forward to the experience.......:girl_hug: And start picking out which relatives you want to treat to a PB experience ASAP.:target:

One of my friends has the habit of saying that while you can choose your friends your family is a curse sent to you by God.:phanvan I have always appreciated his comment. Too bad that you are not more assertive in person for you are such a fine dragon-slayer on-line!

Nevertheless, you will soon be banded and this will be a fine thing indeed. And you will then be able to PB on your worst relatives. :faint: In the meantime, look forward to the experience.......:girl_hug: And start picking out which relatives you want to treat to a PB experience ASAP.

OH MY FREAKIN' GOD! Green, you are too much!!:target: But I do have to agree...Lauren, you are a fine dragon-slayer! Take some of that to your family get-together and take out a few of those overgrown lizards for me! :fencing:(Ok, not exactly a dragon-slaying sword, but it'll have to do...)

You guys are great, you know that? You've got me rolling over here, picturing PBing all over my uncle.

You guys are great, you know that? You've got me rolling over here, picturing PBing all over my uncle.

Just make sure it's something really disgusting, I was thinking maybe I could send you the liquid vitamins I was taking the first couple of weeks post-op. They're loaded with greens, wheat grass juice, all kinds of yummy stuff! PB that and you'll make Linda Blair proud!! :girl_hug:

Just make sure it's something really disgusting, I was thinking maybe I could send you the liquid vitamins I was taking the first couple of weeks post-op. They're loaded with greens, wheat grass juice, all kinds of yummy stuff! PB that and you'll make Linda Blair proud!!

Now that's what I would call an aggressive-aggressive (fergit the the passive part!) PB! :faint:ROFLMFAO

laurend, I'm not like Carlene. I didn't want anyone to know. I've suffered too many diet failures and had to face people afterwards. I didn't know if this would work for me and I just didn't want to have to deal with the comments and questions. As it is, I told a couple of women who are neighbors and I don't see them very frequently. So everytime I see them, they check me out and wonder how much weight I've lost. Well I haven't lost ANY in the last 3 months so now I have to explain what's going on and assure them that I have not given up the fight. I can do it, but I wish it weren't a topic of conversation. If they thought I'd just lost some weight, they'd be impressed right now. As it is, they're wondering why I'm not losing more.

I too used to cry when I got very angry. I am certainly over that now. And as you get older and more self-confident about your own intellect and ability to deal with stupid, cruel people, you will get over it too.

Bitter has it spot on. We shouldn't care what others think, probably especially those in our families who should be our support system. As I've gotten older I'm almost too outspoken when someone ticks me off. I think I scare some younger people because they're so used to being terribly sweet to keep the peace. Like I USED to be. Believe me you do not have to hurt someone's feelings though just to keep from being hurt yourself. Just listen to Bitter. I honestly think she's right about this.

You can always just get up and leave the room if someone brings it up and you don't want to talk about it. You can tell them that you have to go PB, but then you don't have to actually DO it. They aren't worth the waste of good chow.

I understand how you feel....I would be very upset...Makes you want to go into hiding and not share any information about your life with anyone..

Lauren, you sound a lot like me, in the 'in person' vs 'online' department. I'm actually in counceling to try and be able to just hold my ground, lol.

Family having ammo is hard one. I avoid my entire family on my dad's side, because while they seem supportive to your face, it's the stuff you hear later that they said that his horrible.

Either way, just hold your head up best you can at the gathering. At best you can say "Well, I just had the surgery, so I can't tell you much about how it's going yet" and leave it at that.

And I can tell you what I think you should say to your dad, but there's plenty that I should say to my dad that I haven't, and you've probably thought all of it already.