Hello all. I'm a newbie. Sleeved on 3/4 and I have to say I've had to deal with so many sarcastic comments, I'm about to lose my patience and let everyone have a piece of my mind. So one of my neighbors sees me yesterday and says hey are you okay, I saw you were in the hospital. I said yes I'm fine. I had WLS. He then responds you don't need surgery to lose weight, you should just operate on your refrigerator. Stop eating. If he wasn't a long time friend of the family, I would've lost it. There's been a lot of smart comments thrown at me here and there and I'm losing my patience. What do you all respond? I need some help!!!

How about your opinion really does not matter to me, this is for my health.This is why i choose to only tell my mum and sisters and my best mate, people can be so rude. I have 0 tolerance..Family friend or not i would put him in his place...Good luck!!

wow what an abnoxious asshat your neighbor is. have ppl lost touch ..whatever happened to manners?!

im sorry you got that kind of response from someone you have known for a long time.

wish you all the best with your weight loss journey, don't let any of these negative comments deter you from staying on the path you need to follow to make this a success. xox

Edited March 11, 201511 yr by VSGmary

Pick and choose who you tell. There is no reason you need to tell everyone your business.

I know EXACTLY how you feel, I decided to not tell my inlaws and if they found out I was in the hospital I was going to say I had a hernia or something. If we could "operate on our refrigerator and stop eating AND LOOSE WEIGHT then we would. But nothing works and so we take this huge step. Be proud of yourself, tell people only of yoi think they will be supportive. Good luck!

My latest comment to someone who said boy you have lost a huge part of yourself. What happened to you, you look awful! I said well whatever I did maybe you should think about it as well. Like try almost dying! And then I ended with oh by the way..bite me!

that is when I turned on my heals and walked away....No time for stupid....you know! So done with that stuff!

Simple responses

1. Thank you for your heartwarming concern.

2. You need to operate on your attitude.

3. I had surgery for weight loss, when do you go in for a personality transplant?

4. (and my favorite), wow , your life must really suck to make you have to insult others to make yourself feel good.

"I saw you were in the hospital"

Was this published in your local paper? That would be a violation of your HIPPA rights to the privacy of your medical information if the your hospital of medical care providers released the information.

Nobody truly understands what this journey is like except those who have taken the journey themselves. Clearly, your a**hat neighbor has no understanding of metabolism and endocrinology.

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity" (a saying called Hanlon's Razor)

I only told a select few. Didn't even tell all my family. I had a severe episode of C-Diff in Dec of '13 and landed me in the hospital. My IBS was in overdrive after that. I just told ppl I had surgery to try and fix the IBS...which is true, and that it put me on a very strict diet. Also true. I don't need to tell everyone and am a very private person to begin with. No one's business what I do.

I only told a select few. Didn't even tell all my family. I had a severe episode of C-Diff in Dec of '13 and landed me in the hospital. My IBS was in overdrive after that. I just told ppl I had surgery to try and fix the IBS...which is true, and that it put me on a very strict diet. Also true. I don't need to tell everyone and am a very private person to begin with. No one's business what I do.

The problem is that people make it their business. I tried the shocked approach and the quiet approach. Neither worked so as a friend said to me. 'Better to be hanged as a sheep then a lamb.' Translation: might as well give it back because it has not stopped these people from opening their pie holes and telling me what they think....So I no longer stand there and take it......

Oh, I agree completely!

I have discovered that when you actively do something to fix yourself, others who need some major fixes themselves (weight or otherwise) may start to be sarcastic and/or distant. Your success reminds them that they are not powerless to improve themself and that pisses them off.

Eeeks! I do not want to deal with other people. At this point, I wish I had not told my mom and sister. I wish I had just told everyone I had stomach cancer and they have to cut some of my stomach off so now I have to follow a diet like folks that have done WLS. Not a complete farce.. this is a disease and what this is doing to my life is like a cancer. I don't want to explain every little thing to everyone. People that are close to me and care will only ask out of love, but I don't want to hear it or see it on their face or any of it. Ugh!

The ignorance about the struggle with obesity is so frustrating. It is one reason I am so ashamed. My own family is telling me I am crazy and just need to learn to exercise and eat better. What is funny is if somebody goes in for surgery for a knee replacement they don't tell them, well you just need to walk on it more carefully and wear better supports for it. Yet somehow, fat shaming is appropriate when someone chooses a medical solution. It is sad and infuriating.

The ignorance about the struggle with obesity is so frustrating. It is one reason I am so ashamed. My own family is telling me I am crazy and just need to learn to exercise and eat better. What is funny is if somebody goes in for surgery for a knee replacement they don't tell them, well you just need to walk on it more carefully and wear better supports for it. Yet somehow, fat shaming is appropriate when someone chooses a medical solution. It is sad and infuriating.

I agree, but part of this we need to take responsibility for ourselves. Some of us for whatever reason have self esteem issues. I never felt like I wasn't cute or worthy. I was fortunate enough to have friends who liked me for me. I wasn't treated any differently than my slimmer friends. Sure I occasionally ran into people outside of my circle, and yes occasionally they were unkind. However I never tolerated ill treatment so those sorts of encounters were few and far between. I do not broadcast every event in my life so the circle of people I have told is small. My entire family has been very supportive. The one person I was worried about was my mother. To minimize any flack from her I told her literally 2 days before surgery.

So whether you give a long answer, a snappy comeback or a polite answer do so apologetically. This is your life and you are responsible for making it a happy one.