So I'm currently working on the 7 medical clearances I need to get approved before surgery. It's been a lot of shuffling back and forth to doctor's offices, telling every doc why I'm there, and facing the scary numbers (blood sugar, pulse, weight/bmi, etc) over and over.

I really do have a tendency to beat myself up, because I'm thinking right now, "all the other WLS surgery pts are handling this just fine, what's wrong with me?"

The truth is, I've been feeling down since my initial consult. My surgeon (gently) completely took away all of the denial about my 300 lb body.

The hardest part might be not having anyone to talk to who's been through this, but I did read in a book about WLS that forums can be a big help, so here I am confiding in you all!

Well, I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. Would love to know if anyone has had a similar experience.

I believe we ALL have a ride on that rollercoaster, but when we get off, we realize (at least for most of us) that it was worth it. You have come to a good site for questions, advice, and commonalities! Just ask and someone is bound to answer!

Thank you! Knowing I'm not the only one makes all the difference

@@jordantaylor I don't know how old you are, or what your circumstances are but in my late 40s, for the first time EVER i came to understand the disease process of obesity.

This does NOT negate the responsibility I hold for the choices I made, but understanding the upstream, almost impossible battles I fought just removed so much guilt and shame.

I want to thank Dr Billing from PSSC for explaining this to me in a compassionate, yet factual way. It set the path for me to begin changing, not just my weight and appearance, but much of how I relate to the world. Being super morbidly obese is a terrible thing really and you don't know how bad it is until you arent.

I too started out over 300# and am now a normal weight. As a preop, I could not even comprehend how this change would impact me... but I am truly transformed.

So my advice - don't be "down" be excited! Think of where you might be 1-2 years down the road. look at before and after pix, read success stories.. visualize what is possible.

I have also been on an emotional rollercoaster... I think most of us have!! Every time I went to the doctor they found something else that was "wrong." So now I am thinking about it in a positive way---Atleast now I know what's going on vs ignoring it all and continuing to be unhealthy.

Good luck with your journey! It's difficult process, but hoping it's all well worth it.

This has been an emotional roller coaster for me too. It was especially emotional with all the doctors appointment, change in eating habits and everything else going on in my life. This change is good and on the road to be healthy. As of today my ac1 is down to 7.3, liver is stable (have liver cirrhosis), and everything else is good. I sign the consent for surgery on Tuesday, March 10th and then to wait for insurance approval to have surgery. All I have been doing is crying with happiness, just being scared and all other things that come my way.

Agree 100%. My emotions are all over the place. For a lot of us we are the weight we are because we have eaten our feelings/emotions instead of talking about them. Now that we are being asked over and over to talk about why/how we got to this point is so tough.

I took my first class last Tuesday & during the introductions I cried. I was telling them how excited I had been for all of this until I walked in the door & it was like a huge slap in the face!!!

I didn't have alot of emotions until I was just getting prepped for surgery, but before the happy shot that made the world sparkle. I just thought, "How did I come to this?" But I had done so much research about the surgery, been through so many consultations, nutritionist appointments, psych appointments. I knew what I was in for and why I was doing it then.

Then the pre-surgery happy shot came and I was in happyland.

But, seriously...The head-hunger is on me still post-op, but having the hunger hormone removed and the stomach capacity diminished have been life-changers. I can still eat wonderful foods, but now in reasonable amounts.

Best of luck on your journey!

The last month or so leading up to my surgery and then probably the 1st month after I was a complete emotional wreck. I remember having a complete just crying, sobbing breakdown the one night in my bedroom thinking "food is how I've dealt with stress, and hurt, and everything else....how am I supposed to live without that coping skill." And grieving that "comfort" lasted for me even after surgery. I will tell you that it is an emotional process and it's best that you're aware of that now rather than later. I think beyond any of the physical, the emotional parts of the surgery adn the weight loss have been much more intense to deal with. But yes, join these forums for support, start a blog to document your journey. I'm so glad I did! I've been so amazed at how far I've come. Good luck to you!