On this day last year I was at the hospital for my lap-band procedure. I knew it was a big decision, but at the time I really had no idea what the impact would be on my life as a whole. There have been so many positive outcomes. The weight loss is great, of course, and that was my main goal in getting the surgery, but it turns out that even more important than that is a powerful sense of returning to myself. Choosing weight loss surgery enabled me to show up for myself and my life in ways I didn't anticipate. I would have said that I was happy enough before, fulfilled, etc., but the contrast to how I feel now tells me that I had no idea what I was missing. Having my appetite dimmed has allowed me to escape from dieter's prison. All that brain chatter about food is gone and what a relief it is not to be beating myself up. The on/off mentality was really doing a number on me, and I am tremendously grateful to be out from under that spell.
I am not perfect and I don't need to be. The band does it's job and mostly I do mine. I choose not to count calories because that puts me back into dieter's mentality and that's not a good place for me. I still really enjoy food preparation and eating, but my portions are so much smaller than before. My "rules" for myself (and we are all different) are to eat when I'm hungry and not eat if I'm not hungry. The first one took some work. I didn't even know what hunger was because I was always tamping down every feeling that came along with some form of food. It was a process for me to learn to listen to my body's signals and respond appropriately. Generally I am not hungry until mid-morning or so, and now I welcome that feeling. It turns out that hunger isn't my enemy after all. And my body isn't either. For a number of years I felt that my body had betrayed me. No matter how hard I worked, I could not seem to get in sync for weight loss and health. The band somehow buckled me back together with my body and that sense of wholeness is very welcome.
Here are pictures taken a year apart. I have gone from a size 18 to a size 10 in the very same brand of blue jeans (Lee Long) and I am down from the 2X and 1X tops into larges and mediums. I know that I could have lost more weight in this year, but I am committed to a healthy process and this big chunk off in one year is about all I can handle in terms of the compliments I'm receiving everywhere I go. My goal now is to work on the next twenty pounds and see what that feels like when I get there. I'm not in a big hurry because my main focus is on exercise and toning. I am building muscle -- having a strong, capable body feels wonderful and I am doing what I can to take care of it.
Thank you for your camaraderie, your humor, compassion and support. It's been wonderful to be part of an on-line community, something I had never experienced before, and I am very grateful for my weight loss friends. Here's to us -- we are doing it!
On this day last year I was at the hospital for my lap-band procedure. I knew it was a big decision, but at the time I really had no idea what the impact would be on my life as a whole. There have been so many positive outcomes. The weight loss is great, of course, and that was my main goal in getting the surgery, but it turns out that even more important than that is a powerful sense of returning to myself. Choosing weight loss surgery enabled me to show up for myself and my life in ways I didn't anticipate. I would have said that I was happy enough before, fulfilled, etc., but the contrast to how I feel now tells me that I had no idea what I was missing. Having my appetite dimmed has allowed me to escape from dieter's prison. All that brain chatter about food is gone and what a relief it is not to be beating myself up. The on/off mentality was really doing a number on me, and I am tremendously grateful to be out from under that spell.
I am not perfect and I don't need to be. The band does it's job and mostly I do mine. I choose not to count calories because that puts me back into dieter's mentality and that's not a good place for me. I still really enjoy food preparation and eating, but my portions are so much smaller than before. My "rules" for myself (and we are all different) are to eat when I'm hungry and not eat if I'm not hungry. The first one took some work. I didn't even know what hunger was because I was always tamping down every feeling that came along with some form of food. It was a process for me to learn to listen to my body's signals and respond appropriately. Generally I am not hungry until mid-morning or so, and now I welcome that feeling. It turns out that hunger isn't my enemy after all. And my body isn't either. For a number of years I felt that my body had betrayed me. No matter how hard I worked, I could not seem to get in sync for weight loss and health. The band somehow buckled me back together with my body and that sense of wholeness is very welcome.
Here are pictures taken a year apart. I have gone from a size 18 to a size 10 in the very same brand of blue jeans (Lee Long) and I am down from the 2X and 1X tops into larges and mediums. I know that I could have lost more weight in this year, but I am committed to a healthy process and this big chunk off in one year is about all I can handle in terms of the compliments I'm receiving everywhere I go. My goal now is to work on the next twenty pounds and see what that feels like when I get there. I'm not in a big hurry because my main focus is on exercise and toning. I am building muscle -- having a strong, capable body feels wonderful and I am doing what I can to take care of it.
Thank you for your camaraderie, your humor, compassion and support. It's been wonderful to be part of an on-line community, something I had never experienced before, and I am very grateful for my weight loss friends. Here's to us -- we are doing it!