Went to the plastic surgeon yesterday and cried all the way through the appointment. i felt violated and it was not his fault. Pictures were taken of the grossness of my entire body and money kept coming up and what and what not he was not able to do for me. Insurance would only pay for a small portion of what I need done according to him. The rest is out of pocket. Which for me is out of the question. Everything in my life has gone out of control. The house has flooded. The bathroom toilet is broke and the washing machine died. I can handle all of these things but what I went through yesterday made me sick, really sick. Too know that I went through all of these troubles and there is no one who is willing to help me without big bucks in my pocket is horrible and somewhat demeaning. I feel like I have been sucker punched in the gut it hurts so much. I feel like I have no options but to maybe sell my home and move into a trailer but then I have to put thousands into my house to sell it because of the damage caused by the flood ( tiles broke and backed up right into the house). Extensive surgeries were mentioned along with the amount of work needed just to put contours into my body. I think he was saying I was gross and needed a lot of surgeries to fix me to look passable.

I can't stop crying I need work done on my bed sore scar as well and the other surgeon can only do some as he thinks I still have sponge stuck in there from some student changing the gauze before I left the hospital over a year ago.

I feel horrible and like the whole thing is way too much for me to handle. I should crawl away and look for a hole to climb into I am so gross....... I don't feel sorry for myself I just feel like I can't take any more of all that I am going through.

Just putting it out there and if you think that I take delight in this I don't I just don't have anyone to share this with and maybe someone in the WLS world understands my sorrow!

Edited September 26, 201411 yr by RJ'S/beginning

I am so sorry you were subjected to such an assine Doctor. The medical creed of "I shall do no harm" obviously wasn't learned by him very well and he and his staff sound like they are in it for the money. The first thing I would do if I were you is remind myself how far I have come and that true beauty shines from within no matter what our "shell" looks like. Secondly, I would report him to the AMA or whatever organization it is that looks into complaints against Doctors, along with the facility that he works at.....and I'd do it by certified mail. Third, I would contact my bariatric surgeon's office and ask for references of reputable plastic surgeons who work consistently with bariatric patients and their needs. They seriously should be able to help you. If not, call other bariatric surgeon offices and find out who they recommend. I sincerely hope that you will get the help that you need, both medically and emotionally and I'll be shooting up prayers for you. God Bless.

I did not reread the whole thread but I want to share my experience after losing 1/2 my body weight. My first plastics consult was....unreal humiliation. I was shell shocked much like you describe. I had 3-4 consults in my home town and then with Dr Sauceda in Mexico. By that time I was over it and his consult felt loving and comfortable. My friend was with me and felt horrible about it. Reminded me about the initial sting.

In USA I would just expect to pay my own so the coverage issue is different.

Nothing much to add other than plastic surgeons are notorious for trying to upsell procedures. I wouldn't take what he said about what you "need" to heart.

I have a new appointment with another plastic surgeon on Dec. 1. I would put my life in his hands no question. I hope he will help me with more then the other guy said he would do without the almighty dollar getting in the way.

There is also a woman surgeon that if he does not work out I will talk to her. Wow this is just as difficult as waiting the 4 years to get the surgery in the first place.

I will keep pushing forward on this. I need this for health reasons or I would not bother. I am not Barbie. I just want to be healthy inside and out.

Thank you all!

RJ - you are the most beautiful person I know! Your constant support and encouragement to others on this site are amazing and the fact that you have been able to hold up through all your set backs and complications is a true testament to your beautiful spirit. No one can be so perfect ALL the time and the fact that new challenges have piled up and made you feel overwhelmed is not unusual. Don't worry about that butthead doctor - he obviously has no appreciation of real beauty- only plastic barbie dolls that he can create. Please don't let this idiot get you down - you are an amazing beautilful person, inside and out. We may not be 18 and plastic but we've fought the war and come out the other side - scars and all. Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. BIG HUGS for you!!

RJ my heart just sank as I read your post. I want to fly across Canada and hug you to make that horrible pain go away. I have had doctors look at me that way in the past and can understand how demeaning it can be.

I try hope that your next appointment goes better. Not much else that I can add from everyone else's post other than you are such a wonderful person that has been there for everyone on this board that I "heart" you and want to make that pain / humiliation go away for you!

-nancy

PS - Edm, Alberta has some amazing PS through the centre of excellence and if it's health related it's 100% covered - my home is open to you

Good luck on your next appointment! Be sure to let us know how it goes! One other thing - about "Barbie". I sought plastic surgery because I've read that there is a link between people who have plastics and long term success after WLS and massive weight loss. I also did it to feel "finished", though I can't quite put my finger on why. Vanity was a part of it for me, though it was low on the list. I didn't really think about it in terms of looks per se, so I was pleasantly surprised when I realized what a a difference it can make. I think I spent my life being obese, so I had very low expectation of ever looking great in my own skin. For me, it's just another example of how obesity beat me down in ways I didn't realize.

RJ - you are the most beautiful person I know! Your constant support and encouragement to others on this site are amazing and the fact that you have been able to hold up through all your set backs and complications is a true testament to your beautiful spirit. No one can be so perfect ALL the time and the fact that new challenges have piled up and made you feel overwhelmed is not unusual. Don't worry about that butthead doctor - he obviously has no appreciation of real beauty- only plastic barbie dolls that he can create. Please don't let this idiot get you down - you are an amazing beautilful person, inside and out. We may not be 18 and plastic but we've fought the war and come out the other side - scars and all. Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. BIG HUGS for you!!

Your kindness made me cry. You are spot on as to how I feel about this next step. Just did not see the pain it would cause me and all of you on here have been a great encouragement to me. Thank you!

RJ my heart just sank as I read your post. I want to fly across Canada and hug you to make that horrible pain go away. I have had doctors look at me that way in the past and can understand how demeaning it can be.

I try hope that your next appointment goes better. Not much else that I can add from everyone else's post other than you are such a wonderful person that has been there for everyone on this board that I "heart" you and want to make that pain / humiliation go away for you!

-nancy

PS - Edm, Alberta has some amazing PS through the centre of excellence and if it's health related it's 100% covered - my home is open to you

That is what I heard in the Maritime's as well. I am hoping that the new surgeon will help. I just want to be able to sit down without a skirt cascading around my body. I think that is unhealthy.

I am feeling a little better as far as feeling like a possible money making piece of meat now. Will go the distance where ever that takes me. Thank you Nancy for your offer. You never know stranger things have happened, we might meet each other one day. My sister lives in Edmonton!

Jane

Good luck on your next appointment! Be sure to let us know how it goes! One other thing - about "Barbie". I sought plastic surgery because I've read that there is a link between people who have plastics and long term success after WLS and massive weight loss. I also did it to feel "finished", though I can't quite put my finger on why. Vanity was a part of it for me, though it was low on the list. I didn't really think about it in terms of looks per se, so I was pleasantly surprised when I realized what a a difference it can make. I think I spent my life being obese, so I had very low expectation of ever looking great in my own skin. For me, it's just another example of how obesity beat me down in ways I didn't realize.

Exactly how I feel. I was always the biggest girl in the family and always struggled in my adult life. There is much more to that part of my life but it washes out the same way. It is a matter of feeling like I can live and move easier and be healthy. My back is starting to hurt again and I am sure it is the weight of the skin on my torso. I really need an understanding and compassionate surgeon.

I am so happy for you that you have found your place and feel better about yourself. That is what this journey is all about. Getting to a healthy weight and feeling well and even happy. I so look forward to that part.

Thank you!

I cried and was depressed for days after my initial plastics consult. It was awful. I had several more and kind of got over being treated like a side of beef...

By the time I went to Dr Sauceda I knew the drill. My dear friend was horrified..like how could he be so mean? ,He was the kindest of the lot but she didn't know what it was like to be prodded and your skin pulled around and reminded of flaws you didn't know you had.

My heart is breaking for you but I know in the end it is so worth it! ,insurance didn't pay any of mine but I would advise chilling fora awhile.

Hugs!!

The thing is.. most plastic surgeons are dicks! YES, I'm serious. I have friends who have went through med school and talked about how ridiculous the plastic surgeons usually are.. and sometimes the best Doctors have the WORST bedside manner..

RJ: sending you a big cyber hug ((()))!!! I've not looked into plastics for myself. But I've been humiliated by doctors plenty of times. One time when I was a teenager will always stay with me, a doctor made me feel like a grotesque thing, not a person. It affected me so deeply and was so painful that I can't really put it into words. I was still a child but I looked like an adult because of my height, obesity and physical development at that point. Anyway, the rage that comes up when I remember that incident is pretty intense. Some Drs. are just insensitive jerks! You have been thru so much, with so much grace and strength, and always kind words and encouragement for others. You are truly beautiful! I hope you are able to find an amazing Dr who is compassionate as well as skillful. You deserve all health and happiness now! Be proud of your loose skin! It is your badge of victory and survival! As my Dad would say "non illigitimi carborundum" which means don't let the bastards grind you down! Rock on you gorgeous woman!

Omg I just had a memory come back reading this thread. I was about seven or eight years old and I was super stressed out with stomach aches and threw up in the mornings. The doctor looked at my chubby self and said, "you don't look like a person who can't keep anything down." I was old enough to know I had been fat shamed and I didn't want to go to the doctor after that. Saddest thing is that I was probably reacting to emotional problems and bullying, but the result was I wasn't permitted to eat peanuts or popcorn for many years. I still had stomach aches and nausea though. It felt like I had been punished for going to the doctor.

RJ: sending you a big cyber hug ((()))!!! I've not looked into plastics for myself. But I've been humiliated by doctors plenty of times. One time when I was a teenager will always stay with me, a doctor made me feel like a grotesque thing, not a person. It affected me so deeply and was so painful that I can't really put it into words. I was still a child but I looked like an adult because of my height, obesity and physical development at that point. Anyway, the rage that comes up when I remember that incident is pretty intense. Some Drs. are just insensitive jerks! You have been thru so much, with so much grace and strength, and always kind words and encouragement for others. You are truly beautiful! I hope you are able to find an amazing Dr who is compassionate as well as skillful. You deserve all health and happiness now! Be proud of your loose skin! It is your badge of victory and survival! As my Dad would say "non illigitimi carborundum" which means don't let the bastards grind you down! Rock on you gorgeous woman!

I have cousins who are majestic. That is the only way I could describe the entire family. Mother, father, a son and two girls. All over 6'. When they entered a room everyone stopped and looked at them in awe. They walked tall and dressed well. Everyone wanted to be near them because they put on an air of royalty. None had a shame or made to feel bad for the way they looked. I always thought wow. If I were born to be that tall I would like to be like that. It was just beautiful to see them.

Now A few months ago I saw a woman that was well over 6' and she was suffering badly with Anorexia and when she walked she looked like a puppet with strings being pulled just to make her walk. I thought to myself she is not proud of her height and beauty. Because she was beautiful in the face. I immediately thought of my cousins and how they would have made her feel special.

I hope now that you see yourself as you really are. Special and beautiful. Don't be fooled by some jack ass in the past. Thanks for the pep talk by the way! Your a gem!

Jane

Omg I just had a memory come back reading this thread. I was about seven or eight years old and I was super stressed out with stomach aches and threw up in the mornings. The doctor looked at my chubby self and said, "you don't look like a person who can't keep anything down." I was old enough to know I had been fat shamed and I didn't want to go to the doctor after that. Saddest thing is that I was probably reacting to emotional problems and bullying, but the result was I wasn't permitted to eat peanuts or popcorn for many years. I still had stomach aches and nausea though. It felt like I had been punished for going to the doctor.

I was in a lot of pain as well when I was a child. I could not sleep and I always had stomach problems. The Doctor told my mother that I was probably the youngest person he ever saw with bad nerves. That was not the issue. We were starving to death. We never had food. We got food from people on the streets and begged for it. A neighbor used to throw stale Cookies over the fence for us and we would gobble them down. The pain and worry was hunger and where were we going to get food for the next day. All my siblings have stomach problems.

Later my mother remarried and there was finally food on the table. And so none of us knew how to eat in balance. We were still in the way of the lion. Eat until you are stuffed and then there would be a hunger period. But the hunger period was no longer an issue. We never caught on to it we still hid food under our beds and horded it. It was horrible.

The lack of food was replaced by other more dangerous situations. Hence why I got obese. I can say it now and feel okay about it. My childhood was what made me strong. Now I fight my demons one at a time and I will fight obesity as well.

Hope I didn't say too much here. Sometimes more is not good!

Edited September 30, 201411 yr by RJ'S/beginning