Sleeves Are Like Cats
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I realized today that my sleeve deserves a whole new name. I was going with "she who must be obeyed". As of today it it "The heartless, ruthless, soul sucking, b%tch from h3ll." For over a week, I have been having problems. Oh no, "she' that vile creature from h3ll, couldn't let me know right away that something didn't agree with me. "she" had to wait over 30 minutes to let me know. First time, new to me Protein shake. Vega one. All was well and good and then BAM!! The torture began. Hot flashes, cramps, stomach pain, the urge to throw up and that ever relentless pain. After about 3 hours, it eased off. I did feel like hammered poop the rest of the day, but I got through it.
Today, I went to the grocery store. I had my why bother, decaf, sugar free, fat free coffee. I get coconut crusted talapia and chicken breasts.
Come home and decide to eat part of a chicken breast ( I was hungry), then go to the consignment shops and find some clothes that fit.
I get there and start trying on clothes. I get 18s, too big. I grab some 16s, a little tight but I know I will fit them soon. (at this point I'm grinning like a loon and looking in the mirror and say you got to a 16).
Then like a cat deciding to pounce, a little pain. Ok, thinking I'm a little excited, I can deal.
Grab more clothes to try on, the pain get worse. Look at my watch, 45 minutes since I ate. Ok, I'll buy the dress I like and leave. Then it really hits.
It feels like someone has grabbed my chest and started squeezing. Ok, play time over, time to go. I give the clothes back and leave, hunched over and gasping like a smoker trying to yell bingo.
While driving home, the pain moves. To my back and lower stomach. I unzip my pants, eases the pain. The upper chest is really bothering me and I pull at my bra. At this point I'm thinking is this a heart attack? Chest hurts, back hurts....the neck doesn't hurt, no tingling in the left arm. Besides, had the old ticker checked in March. All normal.
Pulling on the bra seemed to ease some pain so I think, I could slip the bra off, not pretty, but I'd feel better. I didn't do it. Don't want anybody to look over and go blind while screaming UNSEE!!! I finally make it home and as the garage door is closing I'm ripping off clothes. It eases the pain but what the h3ll?! Not my typical allergic reaction. It feels like an allergic reaction. I get two tylenol. It kicks in and I begin to feel better. Then the diarrhea hits. I'm thinking good thing I didn't fart. We all know not to trust a fart.
So my sleeve is acting like a cat. It ignores me for the longest time, then goes berserk. Why? Who knows why cats do things? Because they are cats. Sleeves belong in the same category. You give cats catnip to make them happy. What do you give sleeves? Maalox?
These new developments are frustrating. That heartless b&tch called a sleeve is constantly changing the game. That reminds me again....sleeves are like cats.