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Feeling guilty

I am pending approval and my insurance will pay 60% of costs. I have no cap on remaining costs and it's creeping to an estimated $12,000. We can afford this but I feel so guilty because I am fat and need this to be successful. I have lost and gained back more than I can count. How do you put a price on health? How come this makes me feel ashamed? I am probably suffering some sticker shock. Just need to vent a bit.

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I felt the same way. When you get on the loser's bench the guilt will dissipate because you will realize that this is worth EVERY penny and then some. I really beat myself up over the fact that I needed surgery to lose weight. Looking back, I wish I'd not been so hard on myself.

I didn't have to pay anything out of pocket but still found a way to feel guilty. How could I inconvenience my husband who is the sole bread winner with having to take care of me? I think we are so ashame that we let it get this far that we would feel guilty no matter what. You are worth it so go forward without and guilt!

Don't feel guilty about spending that money on yourself. Think of it this way...you will be spending a lot less on medical bills for health problems related to obesity once you have started losing weight. This is a health investment and an investment in your future. You are worth it. Good luck with your surgery and enjoy the process of getting healthy. In the long run you will come out ahead in the financial department.

You folks with $12,000 of "uncovered expenses" need to put your big-girl negotiating panties on. Go to the hospital and say, "I'll pay you what BCBS / United Healthcare / Medicare pays you."

Otherwise, you'll be paying retail and then some -- and probably 3 to 4 times what the hospital would be paid for those items if your insurance were paying for them.

Trufax.

I was self pay all the way...I know how you feel. I figured so far with my trip to Las Vegas, subsequent follow up visits with local doc and testing, I'm into this $13,000.

I'm fortunate that we had the resources to do this without affecting our lifestyle, but at times I do feel guilty that something I needed costs so much money.

There are other days that I feel you can't put a price tag on the benefits - I'm more active, I'm more engaged in my family life, I'm happier, I'm healthier, etc.

What I would tell you is, if your family is on board, try your best to not feel guilty. They are going to get a better version of you on the other side.

Best of luck to you!

  • Author

You folks with $12,000 of "uncovered expenses" need to put your big-girl negotiating panties on. Go to the hospital and say, "I'll pay you what BCBS / United Healthcare / Medicare pays you." Otherwise, you'll be paying retail and then some -- and probably 3 to 4 times what the hospital would be paid for those items if your insurance were paying for them. Trufax.

I get what you are saying but we have a bariatric rider in the policy that requires 40% out of pocket. Nothing to be done about it I am afraid. Thanks

  • Author

I was self pay all the way...I know how you feel. I figured so far with my trip to Las Vegas, subsequent follow up visits with local doc and testing, I'm into this $13,000. I'm fortunate that we had the resources to do this without affecting our lifestyle, but at times I do feel guilty that something I needed costs so much money. There are other days that I feel you can't put a price tag on the benefits - I'm more active, I'm more engaged in my family life, I'm happier, I'm healthier, etc. What I would tell you is, if your family is on board, try your best to not feel guilty. They are going to get a better version of you on the other side. Best of luck to you!

Thank you, it's easy to focus on what I feel I am "costing" or taking away from my family. My husband has prostate cancer, thankfully seems surgery was successful earlier this year. No vacation (though many years we could not afford that anyway) and I will not have the leave to attend our oldest daughters grad school graduation in December after surgery. I don't have issues with co morbitites yet but I am pretty sure they are knocking on the door. My bmi is 49.

I felt very guilty about the $14,000 we shelled out. It took a lot of encouragement from my husband and family to move forward with this decision. But you know what? After going through with it, I have found that I can give my family back a better, healthier, more energetic me! This is working and truth be told, I should've done it sooner...

I would suggest you pick up a supplemental policy through obamacare and see if one of the options can help pick up the out of pocket

I was self-pay and ended paying what you're paying - with no insurance picking up part of the bill. I don't know where you're located, which can make a difference, but your price seems very high to me.

Good luck!

  • Author

I was self-pay and ended paying what you're paying - with no insurance picking up part of the bill. I don't know where you're located, which can make a difference, but your price seems very high to me. <br><br> Good luck!

I am in Georgia. Part of the issue is I have it go to center of distinction for insurance to pay. They cost more. It's not the finance that stresses me as much as doing something so expensive for just me. It's hard to accept that I deserve this chance. Though I would do it In a heartbeat for anyone else in my family. I fell like it's my fault diets have failed.

Do not feel bad about it. It was the best thing I have ever done!! Do this for yourself. Please! Do not feel guilty, ashamed or anything. Be proud that you have the courage and ability to do this for yourself.

  • Author

Do not feel bad about it. It was the best thing I have ever done!! Do this for yourself. Please! Do not feel guilty, ashamed or anything. Be proud that you have the courage and ability to do this for yourself.

Thank you, I needed to hear that.

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