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Feeling guilty

I am pending approval and my insurance will pay 60% of costs. I have no cap on remaining costs and it's creeping to an estimated $12,000. We can afford this but I feel so guilty because I am fat and need this to be successful. I have lost and gained back more than I can count. How do you put a price on health? How come this makes me feel ashamed? I am probably suffering some sticker shock. Just need to vent a bit.

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I get what you are saying but we have a bariatric rider in the policy that requires 40% out of pocket. Nothing to be done about it I am afraid. Thanks

Butterbeanfly- I think this is an investment in yourself and you are worth it!! This initial investment is priceless and will pay for itself many times over throughout your life!!! As women and mothers it is hard to put our needs above those of our family members, but we need to take care of ourselves. You are not alone.

I understand that you have to pay 40% out of pocket per your policy, but different hospitals have different rates negotiated with different insurers and also negotiate different rates with different patients. I have to pay 30% up to my out of pocket max of $8000. I have 3 hospitals in my state that my plan contracts with. Each of those 3 hospitals had a different cost. 2 hospitals were going to cost me the full $8000 out of pocket. The third hospital was only going to cost me $4500 out of pocket for the same procedure. It is absolutely worth calling around and seeing what the different hospitals cost in your area. I was fortunately found to be covered under a secondary insurance which will significantly reduce my out of pocket cost and I was able to go to the hospital closest to my home (even though it is still 3+ hours away).

Your payment is a percentage which can change significantly based upon the total procedure cost negotiated between each hospital and each insurer. It may cost you significantly less at another hospital.

Please don't be offended for me stepping in to this conversation. I know how important this surgery is to each of us and also am very frugal.

I looked at it this way. The surgery probably added 10 years to my life. Great investment even at x10000000 the price.

  • Author

I get what you are saying but we have a bariatric rider in the policy that requires 40% out of pocket. Nothing to be done about it I am afraid. Thanks

Butterbeanfly- I think this is an investment in yourself and you are worth it!! This initial investment is priceless and will pay for itself many times over throughout your life!!! As women and mothers it is hard to put our needs above those of our family members, but we need to take care of ourselves. You are not alone.

I understand that you have to pay 40% out of pocket per your policy, but different hospitals have different rates negotiated with different insurers and also negotiate different rates with different patients. I have to pay 30% up to my out of pocket max of $8000. I have 3 hospitals in my state that my plan contracts with. Each of those 3 hospitals had a different cost. 2 hospitals were going to cost me the full $8000 out of pocket. The third hospital was only going to cost me $4500 out of pocket for the same procedure. It is absolutely worth calling around and seeing what the different hospitals cost in your area. I was fortunately found to be covered under a secondary insurance which will significantly reduce my out of pocket cost and I was able to go to the hospital closest to my home (even though it is still 3+ hours away).

Your payment is a percentage which can change significantly based upon the total procedure cost negotiated between each hospital and each insurer. It may cost you significantly less at another hospital.

Please don't be offended for me stepping in to this conversation. I know how important this surgery is to each of us and also am very frugal.

Thanks, honestly I am a little worn down from the whole process thus far. I have already had to switch hospitals once and fortunately the new doctor took all my pre-cert from other place. The other two wanted me to start from square one again. I have been at this since April. I really need to finish it this year since I have met deductible,es and invested so much time off work. The closest place is 2 hours away, fortunately they also have Saturday meetings which is a plus. I know it's expensive but I don't want to start over again and I did not care for one of the two remaining choices. My husband says it is what it is.

I understand completely. (((hugs))) I don't know how you have started over and still kept such a positive outlook. Good luck on your surgery and I hope everything goes smooth from this point. I LOVE the fact you found someone who does weekend meetings. I haven't been so lucky here. I am trying to time my appointments with the times of the monthly support meetings. You will be on the loser's bench before you know it and this struggle will be a faint memory one day!

  • Author

I understand completely. (((hugs))) I don't know how you have started over and still kept such a positive outlook. Good luck on your surgery and I hope everything goes smooth from this point. I LOVE the fact you found someone who does weekend meetings. I haven't been so lucky here. I am trying to time my appointments with the times of the monthly support meetings. You will be on the loser's bench before you know it and this struggle will be a faint memory one day!

According to my psychological profile test it's in my nature to take a licking and keep on ticking, lol. Though truthfully when I found our I had to start again I cried for a few hours until my husband pointed out it was just another hoop and basically a change of venue. He is a really great guy. I need to learn to accept I am worth this. I have thought a lot about what everyone has been so kind to offer and I feel no less guilty when I have to tell my kids I can't do something because I am physically unable. I am afraid to fly on business trips with my husband because of fat plane shame and I want to do so much! I want to ride roller coasters and run agility with my dogs and go to school functions where I just blend in. Thanks for helping, fingers crossed insurance comes through soon. :)

Yay!! Congratulations!!

Excellent news! You ARE worth it. Accept the blessing that you can afford and it go with gusto. :-)

  • Author

Excellent news! You ARE worth it. Accept the blessing that you can afford and it go with gusto. :-)

Thank you! I am sure when I get going I will believe I am :).

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