Hi all ,

I'm a sleeve candidate and I'm struggling with the decision to go ahead. I REALLY want to have the op as I've struggled with weight my whole life but I'm extremely scared that my 'life' will end. (I do love food)

It's a bad place to be I know, but can anyone help with this fear? Does your attitude towards food change over time??? Or will I grieve the loss of a painful but comforting 'friend'?

I appreciate any help or guidance you can give

Marie

The blood clot began as a cramp in my lower leg that would not go away. I went to bed thinking it would be better in the morning. When I got up in the morning to use the bathroom, I almost passed out. My wife helped me back to bed and called 911. The Chief of Cardiology told me that the clot passed through my heart when I got real light headed. The biggest problem with clots is that people wait to long before getting to a hospital. Once at the hospital there are many ways to treat them and fatalities are rare.

Ah, the head work, the emotional work, the mysteries of why I'm the only one in my family to have severe issues with weight. I'm finally in therapy about these issues, but don't have any woo-woo answers yet -- other than the obvious ones of a) I drew the short metabolic straw in my family, I love food, c) I don't love exercise, and d) my chosen work / lifestyle has become increasingly sedentary.

My VSG surgery will finally happen in mid-August. I've been seriously considering and investigating WLS as "the ultimate solution" since July 2013, when I attended an introductory WLS lecture. That it's taken over a year to get to this point is partly due to my slowness in getting here and partly due to my local bariatric center being overwhelmed with patient applications.

But a part of the truth is that a year ago I wasn't fat enough for this surgery. I recall my weight was 212 when I went to the intro lecture -- a BMI of just under 35 and considerably lower than 40, the BMI that would net me a slam-dunk insurance approval. I hate to admit that I spent the last year gaining weight to have WLS, but in some ways that's part of my truth.

I also apparently (?) needed to spend this last year meditating on how miserable my future life would be if I didn't have WLS. A year ago I already knew I was unwilling to diet to lose and regain 45-50 pounds even one more goddamn time. I had demonstrated clearly that I could lose weight -- and that I could regain it.

Looking back, it seems my regain phases were always preceded by some "perfect storm" of life changes and stresses. Needless to say, it was severe life changes and stresses, e.g., caregiving for an Alzheimer parent, to name only one, that drove me to this current mess I'm in. I knew that life's changes / stresses are never going to ease up, and at my age they're going to get more frequent and more severe. So, rather than acting insanely (doing the same thing over and over, hoping for different results), I realized I needed to try something different.

Three months ago, I started gathering my strength to prepare for surgery. I've lost 10 pounds, am now exercising, have surely added important muscle mass, and have tripled my daily steps. By my standards, I'm still in pitiful shape, but not nearly as pitiful as I was.

I would encourage anyone who's now waiting for WLS surgery to try now to change some things. Move more. Drink more Water and less coffee. Use My Fitness Pal. Buy a Fitbit. Do what you can do, no matter how little it is. Next week, you can do more. It's amazing how quickly you will improve.

The sleeve part -- that's something I can only talk theory about. It's coming soon. And I'm as nervous as anyone else here is / was pre-op.

We're all newbs together.

Edited July 26, 201412 yr by VSGAnn2014

"My suggestion is to get your head straight before surgery - I was not prepared for the emotional part of this process. I researched enough about the procedure itself that I probably could have assisted the surgeon. I had to address my emotional eating issues while recovering and not able to eat. It's hard."

This statement, to me, pretty much sums up the entire surgery scenario. It has already been studied and proven that this surgery will assist you in your weight loss journey. What most people struggle with is redefining their lives. food had become the focal point of our lives. As much as we kidded ourselves that family, work, etc were important, food was our best friend, lover, compadre. That's why we wanted more and more of it. We all need to put other things above food, things like our health, feeling and looking great, our families and friends.

I am only 4 weeks out and the doctor told me yesterday that I had lost 24 lbs since my pre-op visit on 6/20. I had also lost 12 lbs during the pre-op diet. I know in my heart I would never have this weight loss I a year if I had not done this. These numbers are fine with me but more importantly, what I have lost is my relationship with food. I have walked by the shore boardwalk with the pizza, steak sandwiches, ice cream and just kept walking and smiling because I know those foods were not my friends, they were killing me slowly.

I have tried to psychologically prepare myself for this journey and as others say, you have a good day and a bad day. But this surgery is now my best friend who is steering me away from those foods and towards a better life all around. I know it's a long road but I feel that we will all get there as long as you keep your eye on the prize. Best wishes to everyone who has made this trip and to others who are thinking about it.

At 10 weeks out, my entire outlook on food is different. And I don't regret it at all. Food is no longer a comfort. It's no longer the thing I turn to when I'm in the depths of depression. Food is there to fuel my body and that's it. I'm so much more active and alert, and doing so many more healthy things that I don't miss food in the least. It's like that bad relationship that you stay in for so long because you're scared to change...but once you drop it, you realize how much better off you are without it.

No, I don't get the same pleasure out of food. But then, I'm not sure I got a lot of pleasure out of food before. Grazing mindlessly isn't really enjoying it, and eating until I'm sick because I had no cues for being full...that wasn't really pleasure. It was habit. My habit of getting up early every day and exercising does a lot more for me than my old food-centric ways

Your life won't end once you break up with food. It will change...and I consider my change much for the better. I have not had any regrets or doubts over the surgery. It is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

Good luck to you!

I like knowing I can have a bite or two of something delicious, like a filet mignon, then know I will have to box it up for later. Rather than eating all the steak, two side dishes and cake and feeling bloated and miserable and guilty afterwards, I can have a couple bites of each of those things without stuffing myself. I don't miss all of the stuffing my face to quell my emotional pain, and the post gorging guilt afterward. Occasionally I will miss the act of going out and having a drink with a special meal or whatever with friends/family, but I feel the benefits outweigh the detriments.

I considered myself a 'foodie' prior to surgery, i STILL consider myself a foodie post op. it's just that NOW, my enjoyment comes after one or two bites, not one or two entire plates.

i fully STILL enjoy cooking, going to cooking classes, wine parties, game parties with friends, etc. my choices are usually much different than pre op. then, i would have picked a carb based option and ate, and ate, and ate. now i try to stick to a Protein based option, and i always make sure that there is one available for me. a couple of bites and i am fully happy.

last night went to a huge wedding for a dear friend. had one spoonful of ceasar salad, one slice of pork loin in gravy, and one half of a small red skinned potato without the skin. good enough. i was FULLY happy, and FULL. a year ago, i would have filled my plate, ate it with my head down at the table-in embarrassment that i was eating so much- then a bit later when nobody was paying attention i would have gotten seconds. what a difference.

would i do it again- in a heartbeat. no regrets. no problems, no nausea,vomiting, etc. tolerating all foods ok. learning to love food again, but in a POSITIVE relationship and not as a way to numb my emotions or fulfill my needs.

I have never felt like food was my best friend. I never considered myself a foodie.

I just ate a lot of food because I wanted to. I have done a lot of work on myself and the reasons why I over ate.

And so now when I eat something that is amazing, I think to myself that I wish I could eat more of it. But then I feel happy that I can't eat more of it.

The reality is that I can eat more of it the next day. I just don't feel sad that I can only eat a few bites of something. Because now I'm in control of food instead of food controlling me. And it is a great feeling.

I'm down almost 80 pounds and I don't regret it at all. I have further to go but I already feel so much healthier, lighter, younger, and more like the real me. I feel like this is who I am supposed to be.

I will do it again. no regrets!

if i knew what?

I would do it again in a second! I am 5 months out today and I have lost 86 lbs. I feel so much better and happier. It is very weird how your mind does change some. I still order the way I used to eat sometimes out of old habits and almost laugh when I see how much is left and that is if I could even eat it. food isn't the same after the surgery. Many times I have tried something I used to enjoy and there is absolutely no satisfaction in it whatsoever! Hard to explain. I did have terrible food aversion in the beginning. Absolutely hated to eat. Surgeon said that is normal. I don't think I have fully recovered from that and sometimes stll hate eating.

But.....i would do it again for sure!

I considered myself a 'foodie' prior to surgery, i STILL consider myself a foodie post op. it's just that NOW, my enjoyment comes after one or two bites, not one or two entire plates. i fully STILL enjoy cooking, going to cooking classes, wine parties, game parties with friends, etc. my choices are usually much different than pre op. then, i would have picked a carb based option and ate, and ate, and ate. now i try to stick to a protein based option, and i always make sure that there is one available for me. a couple of bites and i am fully happy. last night went to a huge wedding for a dear friend. had one spoonful of ceasar salad, one slice of pork loin in gravy, and one half of a small red skinned potato without the skin. good enough. i was FULLY happy, and FULL. a year ago, i would have filled my plate, ate it with my head down at the table-in embarrassment that i was eating so much- then a bit later when nobody was paying attention i would have gotten seconds. what a difference. would i do it again- in a heartbeat. no regrets. no problems, no nausea,vomiting, etc. tolerating all foods ok. learning to love food again, but in a POSITIVE relationship and not as a way to numb my emotions or fulfill my needs.

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my post. I realise it's not going to be easy but for the first time in ages I feel really positive about the future. Thanks for sharing your experience and helping me make my decision

_{My struggles with food are why I am the size I am. This is why I decided not to hide my decision to have the surgery from anyone. If I decide to go out to eat with friends they will know why I am eating differently, plus I think it force me to be more accountable for my decisions. I want to succeed at this more than anything! With my family knowing they will be with me every step of the way to make the right choices. When we have luncheons at work the girls I always sit with know I am having it so they will know why I am eating differently. Having the surgery doesn't mean I will NEVER be able to enjoy the foods I love, it will just help me to make the correct choices when it comes to the portion of said foods. I haven't had the surgery yet but I am so freaking excited!! I check my phone constantly throughout the day waiting for that call from the surgeons office with my scheduled date!!}

I'm only five days post-op and I don't regret it. I do freak out realizing I can't eat an entire pizza ever again.

Lucky for me i know this addiction journey. I gave up alcohol 3 years ago, at first I was in disbelief I had really given it up. Then I went through the envy phase - why can everyone else drink and control themselves and I can not. It took a long time to not stare at others drinking or feel awkward going out in drinking environment.

I just have to be patient knowing that I will soon enter my envy stage and it will take time before my mind stops craving the food and I move on.

I am a complete FOODIE!! I admit it freely but know that now since surgery other things that were not things I would enjoy before have become tasty and I enjoy them now (like ground turkey) You'll enjoy lots of new and healthy foods and you'll love the way you look (although I still see fat girl in the mirror) down about 30 lbs since surgery May 27. Hoping to be slim for Xmas!!

Your new pouch makes it easier to resist temptation when you know you need to fit your protein in rather than Doritos, you CAN and WILL do it.

Hi all ,

I'm a sleeve candidate and I'm struggling with the decision to go ahead. I REALLY want to have the op as I've struggled with weight my whole life but I'm extremely scared that my 'life' will end. (I do love food)

It's a bad place to be I know, but can anyone help with this fear? Does your attitude towards food change over time??? Or will I grieve the loss of a painful but comforting 'friend'?

I appreciate any help or guidance you can give

Marie

I had my sleeve in April. Mentally for a couple months you still crave that food that you so love (I did). But, as I've tasted and tried these foods now, I find I no longer like or enjoy them. My taste buds and cravings are surely craving. I no longer like the majority of the bad foods I liked previously and my cravings are going away altogether. I "eat to live" now, not "live to eat". I loved food before. I won't tell you it was really easy the first couple months, but it really isn't bad. I would do my sleeve in a heartbeat again! Good luck in your decision. BTW, my husband is now looking into the sleeve and probably having it in September.