Since the post about an ex-friend's fat acceptance and weight loss surgery, I wanted to know what you all think about fat acceptance? Being we were/are all fat at one point in time we can understand how they feel. Some of the bloggers I have come across who promote fat acceptance seem down right mean to previously fat or fat wanting a change people( like us). It boggles my mind how they feel attacked on so many levels yet do the same to previously fat/ fat wanting to change people. If promoting self love wouldn't it be even better to promote everyone loving theirselves in all decisions they try to make even if it is something so dangerous and extreme as WLS, to make themselves feel better, and achieveing self love? Sorry for my mini rant but it seems like no matter where we turn, wls is considered the devil in action, damned if we do and damned if we don't. What are your thoughts on it?

Screw everyone that thinks they have a say in our lives. OUR LIFE, OUR CHOICE.. And a damn good one at that.

I don't think about any of that; it's irrelevant to me /background chatter. I just know that this is what I need to do to be healthy.

Edited June 16, 201412 yr by BeagleLover

I was never into fat acceptance. I wanted to accept myself so I made the changes I need to make so that I'd smile when I looked in the mirror. I'm into self acceptance, fat or thin, tall or short. IMO (many) Fat Acceptance advocates don't support anyone making changes to better themselves. I never thought I was totally fabulous and hot to trot when I was fat. I hated myself. I changed it. I now accept myself.

The kind of acceptance I would like to see is people stopping caring whether or not people are fat, thin, or what, whether they want to change their body or not and just treating each other like humans. The fat acceptance movement like that girl posted about is super extreme, it is just as bad as skinny people being so mean to fat people.

the fat acceptance movement seems to have changed a lot in the 15 years since i first read stuff about it.

i am appalled, disgusted and revolted by the way people think they can treat obese people. i have worked with obese people who have PTSD from the way they have been treated. its horrendous. i dont understand where the venom and rage comes from. why some people feel that being fat makes one not human anymore. it not only confuses me, it makes me really really sad. i hate it and feel that its part of a larger problem of an non-compassionate and angry culture we live in.

but what i see now is not people talking about people treating obese people with common respect, compassion and kindness, but people who seem to believe that its better to be fat than healthy. because "thats who i am." and losing weight equals fat phobia. this seems a bizarre projection to me. not loving or caring for myself is how i got fat. loving myself was WHY i got this surgery... i dont care for myself now BECAUSE i lost 85 pounds. i lost weight because i cared enough to do something drastic to get healthy. i love my children, i love being their mommy. i dont want to drop dead when my kids are teens like my dad did.

a lot of what i see people posting on blogs and FB seem to be excuses for not getting healthy and taking care of themselves. i have an obese friend who posts all kinds of stuff on FB, and she doesnt seem to have a clue how she is coming across... bitter, blaming and a huge victim. that is NOT what the original fat acceptance movement was all about. now it just seems like fat people encouraging each other to stay fat, sick and unhealthy. its the flip side of those sites where people encourage each other in exercise addiction/bulimia/anorexia. really disturbing. imagine places online where people encouraged each other to shoot dope or drink addictively or gamble compulsively. somehow if its food, its different. (no, its not)

I am sorry but if we accepted being fat then we wouldnt be on here, having surgeries to change it. I am all about self-confidence and I know that I will never ever in my life be what society considers "thin" but I am not going to accept my fate of being fat. I'm going to try like hell to change it. It's okay to accept people of every body type and shape, as we should but I, personally, am not accepting the fat. That goes for me about myself. I am currently seeing someone who weighs 320 lbs and I find every bit of him to be sexy but if he wants to change it, that's his prerogative not mine!

I have always considered my obesity to be a self imposed prison... so how can you EVER accept that?

I used to hate it when people would talk about 'eating your feelings.' Probably because the truth hurts. I ate my feelings a lot. Having so many people torment me about my weight throughout my life made that even worse. Eating was soothing, people were judgmental, so I will just eat all I want and stay as far away from people as possible.

I realized after my father died of a massive heart attack at age 63 that I had to change my life or that would be me, if I even made it that far! Even though I knew I had to change it took almost two years before I took action to change and miraculously I was able to self fund my surgery and begin this incredible journey to reclaim my life.

I have no problem with people having confidence at any size, but I personally had no confidence at 378 lbs. I do think that people of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful, but I did not feel beautiful at 378 lbs. I accepted what I needed to do to feel confident, beautiful and healthy.

The irony of the Fat Acceptance Movement is that it is not very accepting of obese people who decide to take steps to lose weight. It seems to me that they bully people who chose to lose weight in the same way they have been bullied for being obese. What is the sense in that?

My Sister Died at the age of 63.....she suffered for years from every possible horrendous medical condition you can think of all due to obesity....

She had a few open heart surgeries, for by-passs, and valve replacement.

She had venous transplants, by-passes to improve circulation surgeries to do poor circulation in her legs, and also her carotid arteries in her neck....

She had skin infections all the time.

Many times she went into comas due to severe septicemia, each time not certain if she would survive...

For years, she would be in the hospital more days than she was at home....in and out, in and out...

Amputations....first it was her right big toe, then her right foot, then her right leg below the knee, then her right leg above the knee.....

After her right leg, the same process started in her left leg....

Eventually, her kidneys shut down and she had to go to Dialysis 3 times a week, by ambulance.

She lived her last 2-3 years in a nursing home, when she was not in the hospital.....her room smelled like Death...

In the end, she could not take the pain and suffering anymore, and knew things would continue to get worse...so she decided to end it by stopping Dialysis...3 days later she was gone...

She had absolutely NO Quality of life, she lost everything she owned and went on Medicaid/Welfare to keep up with the medical Bills....she put her 3 daughters, my nieces, through Hell.....

Not to mention the strain she put on the healthcare system....YOU supported her medical bills and lifestyle....

I can on and on...it was the most hideous thing one can ever watch....

Did I Love her? Of course I did...can I accept what she went through because of her obesity? NEVER!

If you have a Son or daughter who is obese, are you going to pat them on the head and tell them everything is going to be Ok? Fat Acceptance?

Sorry, no way...I cannot wish that on anybody...does not mean I don't love them, but I cannot condone their lifestyle either...

Twenty Years ago it might have been a different story in some ways, but today...Bariatric Surgery is becoming more and more routine, and there is proof everywhere that it does work. There are alternatives to being Obese....

I'm sorry, but when I see a Obese person on a McDonalds on their 4th cheeseburger, fries, apple pies and anything else they can get into their mouths, then watch them struggle to walk to their handicapped parking spot, it makes me feel disgusted....

Granted, she is probably someone's sister, daughter, mother....but I cannot condone her obesity....

BTW, My brother was also Obese...and he died at the age of 60....so I lost both my siblings due to obesity...

Fat Acceptance? Even though I was one, and can have compassion and sympathy, I did do something about it...everytime I don't want to go to the gym, but rather stay in bed, I think about them....

I can't stand Whiners...people who complain about the little sacrifices here and there...what no pizza? You mean there are foods I will have to give up???

Well, it's YOUR Choice...read posts here everyday how people are tying to rationalize and continue with the things that got them fat in the first place...they ask questions looking for acceptance....

Ge with it....This is life and Death!!! Not a game, not a silly diet...but Surgery to correct a very real problem!

Fat acceptance? The very term makes me disgusted...sorry...but this website is for people who WANT to make a change...

Edited June 16, 201412 yr by B-52

I don't really believe in fat acceptance, especially the bullying ways that it has devolved into. Like someone above said, I'm into self-acceptance, and I couldn't accept myself the way I was. I may have eaten healthy most of the time, I may have exercised daily...but I wasn't healthy by any stretch of the imagination and it was only going to get worse if I didn't do something about it. So I did. For years, I didn't think I was worth it. My family convinced me that I was, and I started looking into ways of getting healthy, and the point I was at, WLS was my last resort. Nothing else had worked.

I try to accept people for who they are. Fat, thin, whatever. And if they choose to take this step in their journey to health, more power to them. I envied people who took this step before me. I didn't hate them for choosing to be healthy. I envied that they were able to admit they needed help and go after it. And wished that I had the courage to do the same (and I finally found my courage)

(Although when I see people chowing down on a ton of really nasty food, I do find myself getting mildly nauseous. That includes family eating a few slices of pizza or other greasy foods)

it interests me greatly to see the responses on this thread versus the messages on the thread about how do you talk to someone you love about being fat. human beings are so fascinating!

I find the whole topic insanely boring, personally.

If someone truly accepted themselves as fat, then they wouldn't give two sh!ts if I accepted myself as fat or wanted to be thin. It all reeks of jealousy and insecurity along with justification for allowing oneself to get out of control and not wanting to do a darn thing to correct it.

I love my friends fat or thin and their happiness and health is all that is important to me. I would never discuss weight or health with someone without their permission UNLESS they were going down the path of heart disease, diabetes, etc. with reckless abandon. Even then, I would tread lightly because honestly, what fat person doesn't KNOW they are fat?

I used to harp on about fat acceptance, fat shaming and loving your body no matter what. Then when I couldn't run, was constantly hungry while constantly eating and nodding off at work because of sleep apnea I would wonder if maybe I was telling myself that to justify some bad, BAD choices.

Then I got sleeved and everything changed.
If you genuinely love yourself and you're morbidly obese, good for you.
If you want to change, good for you.
If you've ALREADY changed, good for you.

The only thing I can't tolerate now is that idea that fat people are somehow weak or feeble. Couldn't be further from the truth because most of us are carrying so much more than we need to (physically and emotionally), so we're anything BUT weak.

I believe in self acceptance - at all sizes, weights and life circumstances but i will never and have never believed in fat acceptance. It is like promoting that smoking is perfectly great for you. No it isn't. Being obese is not good for you either. It does NOT make you a bad person, I accept the fat person, but I don't accept that being obese is an ideal state (same way I accept smokers). I also don't accept that you can be healthy over the long run... sooner or later that extra weight will catch up with you.

I find this subject pretty amazing really. Right now I am in between worlds in a way. I am a WLS, sleeved person who has lost 90lbs so far. But I am also 225lbs and still classified as morbidly obese. Therefore I can sort of see both sides of the coin. For being fat I do not wish to be judged or have anyone treat me poorly due to my size. Of course my size now is actually much closer to "normal" than I was to begin with. ( since society as a whole is much larger) Yet I am one who does judge those who are killing their selves with food. There is am obese couple in my hometown that go around on scooters. Each of them have to be 350lbs +. What I have a horrible time with is watching them, on their scooters, going to fast food restaurants! It literally makes me sort of sick to my stomach thinking "there, but for the Grace of God" .... It could be me had I not cared enough about myself to do SOMETHING! Fat acceptance to me should not be saying it is ok to overindulge, make yourself critically ill, then depend on society to get you though your health crisis. It should be about making healthy food easier to obtain by EVERYONE. ( low income families do struggle to eat right due to the higher cost of "healthy" food) I understand fast food is convenient, it would be awesome if healthy food was just as easy to pick up on the go!! ( more healthy food chains) And we should not treat obese people as 2nd class citizens or worse. At the same time, fat folks need to understand what their weight is truly doing to their bodies. It isn't a life choice, it's an excuse. And deciding to do what is best for yourself is not weak or hateful of others, it is just loving yourself enough to make your life a priority.

I think we all know people, even ourselves, who ate right and exercised and could never keep the weight off.

I don't think that obese people should be discriminated against. I think that everyone should be treated the same.

But to say that its wrong for people to try to lose weight is just crazy. I was surfing through a lot of fat acceptance and HAES blogs, and there's a lot of crazy there. There's also a lot of people who are just tired of fighting and tired of not losing and have given up.

Hey surgery isn't for everyone. We all have choices to make. If someone prefers to stay obese and just accept it rather than have surgery who am I to judge?

It's the black and white thinkers who I think are stuck in Cray Cray.