Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

To date or not to date?



Recommended Posts

Coming up on the two week mark for surgery. My mind is going crazy thinking of all these questions. :/ What will my life look like in a year? How will I feel? What will I have accomplished that I couldn't have right now? So of course I'm throwing it all out to you guys my wls surgery family. Yes yes I'm already attached to you ;).

My life has been a whirlwind the last couple of years. I gained custody of my niece and went from a single girl in an apartment with a dog to a single mom with a child and two dogs!

I tried internet dating on and off for years and man oh man has that been a crazy ride! Funny that now my confidence is higher than it's ever been and my New Years resolution was no more dating for 2014. I wanted to concentrate on myself with surgery and I just started looking for a house to buy for my expanded amazing little family! :)

That being said I'm getting older. I'm 34 and I'd like to think that someday I'll find that someone! I had a fleeting moment last summer where I thought I had found the one but it was just that a moment. How long do I wait before I get back out there? How is dating after wls? Any crazy stories? ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was just wondering this same thing, I'm a little over a month post op and already starting to gain a little confidence, but still very nervous about getting back out in the dating scene.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When you feel comfortable with how you look in clothes, definitely start dating.

I met my bf online and I met my last bf online who I was with for almost 3 years. There is no way I would have met either of these guys if I were still fat.

You'll probably start freaking out over loose skin if you have a lot to lose, but if you find someone worth taking off your clothes for, he's not going to care about it. It takes awhile to date someone and feel comfortable enough with them to even tell them about your surgery. i don't have recreational sex, so by the time we got to that stage, they loved seeing me naked.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I met my husband on line about six months post op. It has been a great 4 years. We just bought a house last july and everything is great. Yes you have to weed through a bunch of bull shitters but you will find the right one when the time is right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd wait a little bit to get back in the dating scene, unless of course it happens naturally and you meet someone by chance. Give yourself a few months to make yourself a priority.

As far as online dating, I met my husband 14 years ago online. I lived in California, he lived in Pennsylvania. I relocated after a couple years and here I am. Love the guy to death! I was thinner when we met, I gained 50lbs through out our relationship and he never once made me feel undesirable. He's been amazingly supportive through this process. It is possible to meet a great guy, just avoid those "hook up" sites.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I start the dating process, think I would like it to be with someone that had WLS.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi butterfly, I loved reading your enthusiasm for "what's to come?"as you start this journey.

I was banded 7 years ago actually today! My life is sooo different... And I have to say I've entered the world. Previously I was so unhappy because of my weight.... I felt like I was on the outside looking in on everyone.

1year after I was banded, I started dating. I went on match & eharmony. I preferred match but everyone is different.... They are just a tool like the lapband is for weight loss.

It can be difficult....but someone suggested I have fun with it... And that sort of changed my outlook. Another person suggested I date a few guys at once till I formulated what I liked in a guy. I hadn't dated for years. This also helped me from getting too attached too quickly.

I met some pretty nice guys.... And some big fat liars... But it's a numbers game just like job hunting. The more you put yourself out there... The greater your chance of meeting a compatible person.

I was dating 4 guys having fun with all of them...when my "husband- to-be" contacted me. He was also dating 4 woman at the time. We went on our first date then a second date and we decided to become exclusive..... And the rest is history.

I never planned on getting married... I really just wanted to find someone to have a relationship,... But I met someone, fell in love and got married 3 1/2 years ago.

You sound like a really good person... And your enthusiasm is infectious. So wishing you all the best. JosieK

Edited by JosieK

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

New Years resolutions are meant to be broken ;) perhaps not broken but adjusted, here is an idea... How about for 2014 you don't go seeking, but if one falls in your lap then you open up yourself to the opportunity because we all cross paths for a reason :) I think sometimes it's important to be receptive because you may miss out on something potentially incredible! But it's less important to be in search of.

Edited by KristinaRnY

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to say it was scary for me the first date most of the time are dinners or drinks etc how do you explain to this guy you meet I had bi pass etc or you can't eat and drink at the same time. I have learned it's not always easy and get ready to answers a lot if questions you well meet the jerks but out of it I met this amazing guy and we gave been together almost a year and talking about getting married things well all work out I used match and don't care what people say or think if they don't like you for you move on cause remember you did this for you and you should be very happy you have made it this far

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Men are natural hunters, I think you should focus on going to new places now that your confidence is higher, allow yourself to be seen and let nature do the rest, the least amount of time you think about finding the love, the better your chances are at finding that special person. Just focus on being radiant and having fun.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is me after 10 months. Just take your time it is a HUGE adjustment and support is really important.

You look amazing. Life is too short, go date, have fun !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Men are natural hunters, I think you should focus on going to new places now that your confidence is higher, allow yourself to be seen and let nature do the rest, the least amount of time you think about finding the love, the better your chances are at finding that special person. Just focus on being radiant and having fun.

I'm on the hunt ;). Not much prey around these days.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Jrule

      Any od 63 years old  or older having weight loss surgery or have had weight loss surgery.
       
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • HeBrokeTheChains

      I had surgery on September 27th and I am one of the very blessed ones that have had no pain to speak of besides a couple days of gas pain. I have lost 9 lb since surgery, and I am feeling a little like I should have lost more by now. Is that realistic? Or am I being too fussy?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • QUEEN2021

      Hello everyone.. I had my surgery on Sept 30th 2021.. and it has been an horrible experience to me. I can't hold down fluids or soft food. so much mucus is coming up!! and I'm spitting all day. I'm so sad over this journey. is anyone having this same issue? if so, what are you doing about it. 
      · 1 reply
      1. SleeverSk

        Are you on meds for reflux? If not you should be at this point. If you are already on reflux meds get in touch with your surgeon asap as this is not normal. If fact i would be getting in touch with the surgeon either way. I hope your issue is resolved and you feel better soon

    • Meganator

      Tomorrow is the big day! Getting sleeved in the morning and possibly spending a dark and stormy night in the hospital after. I'm actually excited about that because rain on wedding days and birthdays is considered a sign of good luck- so wouldn't a commitment of re-birth qualify as well?
      Can't wait to see y'all on the other side!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • summerset

      Hope everyone's doing ok so far.
      Incidence numbers are on the raise again and hospitals need to treat more COVID patients again. Looking with some kind of dread towards autumn/winter season. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×