so.. I've told a few people in my department at work, including my manager, that I will be getting the lap-band surgery (4 days left of the 12 month program required by insurance!!!!). I notice that my manager, who I've talked about struggling with weight, because she too is overweight, ALWAYS has some little jab to throw into the conversation. It's usually "i'd rather be fat", but the other day, we were all chatting and someone asked if I had my surgery scheduled yet, since I have been talking about it for awhile, I replied "no", and they asked a few more questions.. could I eat bread, could I drink coffee/soda, etc.

when I replied that I would probably keep to a lower-carb diet, my manager says "couldn't you just do a low-carb diet without the surgery?"

the more I thought about this comment, the more it pissed me off. for someone who has struggled with their weight as well, I thought she would be happy for me. shes done ww and other diets, but they never worked, at least for an extended period.

i'm 26 years old, I remember starting my first 'diet' with my mom at age 6.. my weight has been a constant battle and I've never been completely happy with myself.

THIS is why I was so reluctant to tell people in the first place. I waited 9 months before I told anyone, and still wasn't sure I should. I try not to let comments like that get to me, but the fact is, I DONT HAVE THICK SKIN, ive been teased my whole life and its taken a huge toll on my self-confidence.

just needed to vent. not sure if anyone else has dealt with this kind of situation, but I was just so pissed off, I had to get it out.

I didn't tell anyone before the surgery because I had already heard some strong opinions about it being thrown around. After the surgery, I did tell everyone and now I wish I hadn't. I think the majority of people are truly in support of me, especially because I work in a cardiac cath lab. But it gets tedious sometimes answering so many questions. Like everyone else has said though, we can't let any of it get to us. We are making positive changes to our life and no one can keep us from it!

Your co-worker is afraid she'll be the last and only fattie in your department and she's right. Give her time, if she's got any brains at all, in a few months she'll be secretly asking you if it was hard or painful. You can tell her "only the hurtful remarks of your friends and co-workers".

And the "I'd rather be fat" comment can be answered with "I'd rather continue to live".

Well said

But I hate when I tell other overweight people and they say something like you can do it on your own, I've lost xyz pounds doing this, that and the other. I always look at them like Yeah and that's working very well for you.

Edited February 15, 201412 yr by SweetSophia

ugh, "you've got a pretty face" has been said to me more times than I'd like to remember.

My mom gets SUPER jealous when I lose any weight, so I'm sure he comments will come rolling in after the surgery. My dad always mentions how much weight since last time I've seen him, so I'll be interested to see what he says now.

Thanks everyone for the comments, it's a shame people just can't be happy for you.

Now if I could just get my mother in law (to be) to stop telling everyone I'm getting the surgery

Theres a saying that goes " The only bite of success that some people get is when they take a bite out of others ! " in other words , your poor deluded so called boss is using her mean words to express her negitive attitude towards herself, her weight problem and her uninformed views on WLS. ? Since you are doing this ONLY for yourself , and you have researched WLS, you are making a very smart decision to get healthy and strong . Since she wont shut up or offer any positive comments, I would set a stack of info on lap bands on her desk and sweetly say " Since I know we've both struggled

With our weight all our lives, I thought you might want to see that there s a solution, and im having it done !" Good luck to you, it us soooo worth it !

this is one of the reason's I hate the biggest loser. ppl that are not overweight think everyone can diet and exercise and lose the lbs. geez I did it for years. I wasn't even overweight until I had my child at the age of 21. gained 70 lbs with her. but I was able to yo yo diet with the best of them. but for some reason the last 3 years I couldn't diet if my life depended on it and it did. and yet I still couldn't lose wt. No one chooses wls lightly. it isn't the easy way out. ppl just don't understand that we have done all we can short of lifting that semi-tractor tire to lose the wt. we didn't want surgery we needed surgery. and lapband is not the easy road. but at least it is a road in which one can lose wt. safely. good luck and don't let ppl get you down. its' not their life. and I would be hard pressed to share anymore with your work crew.

The very best revenge for something like that is success. Just smile and think about how great it's going to be to walk in to work everyday at your goal weight and she will still be struggling. Be sure to smile and be super nice to her the whole time!

Amen to this!

She is clearly insecure and doesn't even want to acknowledge her own weight problem.

In life, in the grand scheme of things, do you own thing. Learn that you really DO have a thick skin. Don't let her bother you or interfere with your decision to change your life....because it's AWESOME on this side!

That's jealousy sweetie...get used to it, because it's going to get a lot worse the sexier you get with your band! Woo Hoo!!! We are your support system, blow the haters off! BAM!

#drops mike and walks off stage

I was going to say the same thing. It seems like she is jealous because you have the courage to do something postive instead of sitting around being miserable. Honestly be prepared she will probably be even worse once the weight starts coming off. My advice is to just do you and don't worry about the ugly people who will try to bring you down.

Look here baby... (in my big mama voice) you made a decision that will affect the rest of your life in a positive way. You are going to be one Sexy Chicky and she's still gonna be a fat lonely piggy. I say that in the mean spirited way she said what she said to you. On the plus side maybe you'll be the vessel to send her on way to healthyville.

Stay up honey and know at your tender age of 26.....everyone is not your friend.

Good luck.

I had a "friend" on facebook say "how did you get insurance to cover cosmetic surgery?" I tried to keep my cool and explain how obesity is a disease and its certainly not a cosmetic surgery as it once was categorized as. She basically laughed at me and told me "I wonder if I can get insurance to give me a tummy tuck". This was all on facebook so a few true friends jumped in and said "sounds like someone is jealous" Damn right they are!! She ended up unfriending me which kind of upset me but better off in the long run. I dont need that kind of negativity.

Thanks guys! I won't let the stupid comments get me down, people just need to check their filters every once in awhile!

Understand completely...... I am getting the same response from my best friend and she is overweight. She just does not understand why I cannot lose it without surgery. I am preop and only told my children, husband and her. And that is exactly why. Just keep your eye on the prize and concentrate on you and your health. You don't need anybody's approval:)

Edited February 17, 201412 yr by Ga Gurl

What a gentle and kind message, you have made a major point in mentioning how other bandsters make comments based on THEIR relationship with THEIR band. We share a lot of similarities, but just as many differences - there are no rights or wrongs when sharing or questioning something you may be experiencing. The contents of a post could sound completely abnormal to one person...or the entire forum - minus one or two others. Those one or two others could take a lot away from what was shared, which is why this forum exists and is successful.

Ah friend I've got some news for you....you are going to get snide remarks from lots of people. Even people that are banded might make some ignorant snide comments on the way you work your band vs. the way they choose to work theirs. It's just the way the world is.

The truth is that the people/person that makes the snide comment is saying more about themselves then they ever could about you! They are showing their ignorance and insecurity about something that you have found confidence and belief in. These type of people want to introduce doubt into your mind, so you can be more like them. However you are not like them you are YOU.

Your doing what's right for you, you have walked this path for a long time and your just near the end ready to schedule your big event. You could be talking about your wedding for just as long or longer, and would people be questioning you about it with snide comments? Maybe......but you would not let them affect you and your vision for your big day. So don't let them steal your happiness or underscore it with snide comments.

You've come a long way, and the big day is in sight! Getting banded was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself, and I do not regret it for one second.

My BEST advice to you as you move forward is to listen to and follow your Dr.'s orders, and if you have questions about anything that is the place to turn for the most sound advice.

Congrats and good luck to you as you move forward!

What a gentle and kind message, you have made a major point in mentioning how other bandsters make comments based on THEIR relationship with THEIR band. We share a lot of similarities, but just as many differences - there are no rights or wrongs when sharing or questioning something you may be experiencing. The contents of a post could sound completely abnormal to one person...or the entire forum - minus one or two others. Those one or two others could take a lot away from what was shared, which is why this forum exists and is successful.

Ah friend I've got some news for you....you are going to get snide remarks from lots of people. Even people that are banded might make some ignorant snide comments on the way you work your band vs. the way they choose to work theirs. It's just the way the world is.

The truth is that the people/person that makes the snide comment is saying more about themselves then they ever could about you! They are showing their ignorance and insecurity about something that you have found confidence and belief in. These type of people want to introduce doubt into your mind, so you can be more like them. However you are not like them you are YOU.

Your doing what's right for you, you have walked this path for a long time and your just near the end ready to schedule your big event. You could be talking about your wedding for just as long or longer, and would people be questioning you about it with snide comments? Maybe......but you would not let them affect you and your vision for your big day. So don't let them steal your happiness or underscore it with snide comments.

You've come a long way, and the big day is in sight! Getting banded was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself, and I do not regret it for one second.

My BEST advice to you as you move forward is to listen to and follow your Dr.'s orders, and if you have questions about anything that is the place to turn for the most sound advice.

Congrats and good luck to you as you move forward!

You should have asked if she'd had a c-section, some insurance companies cover tummy tucks. BCBS Texas does. Other surgeries are covered if you've lost a signficant amount of weight and the extra skin is causing irritation or infections.

I had a "friend" on facebook say "how did you get insurance to cover cosmetic surgery?" I tried to keep my cool and explain how obesity is a disease and its certainly not a cosmetic surgery as it once was categorized as. She basically laughed at me and told me "I wonder if I can get insurance to give me a tummy tuck". This was all on facebook so a few true friends jumped in and said "sounds like someone is jealous" Damn right they are!! She ended up unfriending me which kind of upset me but better off in the long run. I dont need that kind of negativity.