Before you have your surgery take a few minutes to reflect on your life. What struggles have you been through? Why did you decide that weight loss surgery was right for you? What was your deciding moment? What steps did you have to take to get to your surgery day? Why are you making this change in your life?

While you reflect on some of these ideas write them down then write a letter to yourself. Put that letter away somewhere safe and include a before photo inside. After your surgery you will hit a point where you think that having this surgery was pointless and that you are stuck and you will be overweight forever, (insert pity party here).

When you get that feeling of helplessness open the envelope take a good look at the photo and read the letter you wrote to yourself. The letter will bring back the memories of your determination to get to your goal of being a smaller healthier you.

I unfortunately wrote my letter to myself online and lost it. I do still have my photos that I took of myself before surgery and each month there after.

Last week I steeped on the scale for the first time in a long time, because the scale can be your worst enemy. I noticed that my clothes were fitting a bit tight and wanted to make sure my clothes were not shrinking. The scale did not lie. I was lying to myself. I had allowed my mind and my mouth to take control again. I looked at my before photo and all of the memories came back to me. I am now determined to maintain my goal at being smaller and healthier.

I wish I still had the letter I wrote to myself. I had read it a few months post op and I realized how far i had come. I would sure like to read it again to remind myself where I came from and the struggles I endured.

Hi Dustin, how about a letter now, from this perspective? You write beautifully and I imagine you have some amazing things to say to yourself, for now and for the future. I loved reading your post!

This is an excellent piece of pre-op advice and I'm so glad you suggested this...I agree that keeping a pre-op blog and/or writing out your decision-making process as you move towards weight loss surgery is an important tool. Equally important when, as you say, your motivation as a post-op might start to wane.

Here was what I wrote last year at this time. It was on December 11, 2012 that I first consulated with the surgeon who would band me four months later on March 20, 2013.

So grateful for my lapband. Its benefits reveal themselves over and over, each and everyday.

1- What do I care about?

I care about living life as I’d like to live it: in a body that is free from pain (weight-related pain), flexible, mobile and aesthetically-pleasing. I care about keeping my moods on an even-keel, something that is difficult when I’m eating sugar. I care about being fit and energetic so as to keep up with my children’s needs. I care about staying disease-free and healthy, as much as I am able to control that through my food choices. I realize that diseases can come about from nowhere, but I’d like to think that taking my weight off will provide me with better health and, at the very least, keep weight-related diseases at the door for as long as possible.

Lastly, I care very much for my physical shell, and am very depressed at how ugly the fat has made me. What a waste of a pretty face.

2-Where does this come from?

My own experience. At my current weight, I am not as mobile as I need to be. I really have to think if “that errand” (or event) is worth the pain in my knees, ankle, back, etc.

What I care about comes from what I live currently, and the “imagined” what I will have when my weight is at a proper number on the scale. What I know now is that I’m missing out on most everything that is important to me in life, because I’m too fat to do these things (travel, sightsee in my own city, go out with friends, sex, exercise, keep a tidy home, etc.)

3-What is not possible in my life if I remain at this level?

First of all, I cannot imagine remaining at this weight, although it is likely that if for some reason I were to not have lapband surgery, I’d go back to Weight Watchers and I’d end up at this weight or (probably) higher eventually. This is based on my history. My decision to move forward with WLS comes from realistically pulling back and owning up to the fact I have never kept my excess weight off for more than two years. I’ve been a size 20 for many years of my life, even in college, and now I’m a size 22.

So, if I were to remain at this level, here’s what I envision my life would look like:

-I’d probably continue to gain weight

-My difficulty walking, cleaning the house, moving around would become even more pronounced and I’d have a smaller and smaller life

-I’d be in a constant bad mood and depression

-My self-hatred and disgust would continue to grow

-I’d have no friends because really, who would want to be around someone with such a small life?

-And, lastly, my life would revolve around three poles: home, work, and food.

4-What new theory should I have about my body?

I don’t know if it is new, but I’d like to be in the mindset that I wasn’t tearing my body and health to bits with my overeating. I am looking forward to the release of the burden of abusing it each and every day. I hope it is not too late to save this one body of mine, and I hope that my lapband surgery coupled with following the post-op protocol to the letter will get me to a weight where the “issue” of my body is something I don’t have to work around anymore.

Edited December 11, 201312 yr by parisshel

This is an excellent idea, I wish I had done that.

thanks....this would be great. I will do it...

This is a wonderful idea. Along with pictures, I believe this will help when I run into those times that I stall, as I know happens, and I know how depressing and disheartening it can be. But the letter could help give perspective of how far you've come; showing the fruitionof your labors. Thank you for sharing, Dustin.