Depression Bites!
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Today I got up and there was a dark cloud looming over my head...i felt like I was so heavy and sick. Even looking at this forum did not cheer me up. I shuffled through the morning answering posts and reading posts and felt unsatisfied with everything I wrote...
I was supposed to go to the grocery store and walk around and maybe buy some vegetables. But I felt to over whelmed to even do that by myself....
Before I had WLS my surgeon said that most people who have this surgery also beat depression and become happy. I looked at him in awe as he said those words hoping that I might be one of them...
When I spent those 5 months in the hospital they took me off my depression meds and for 2 months I felt okay considering the state I was in. Then, all of a sudden I found myself going deep into a dark hole. I became irritated and no one could help me...I kept the blinds closed in my room and would not comment when the nurses urged me to let the Vitamin D in.
The Doctors would come and talk to me and I could not answer..It was as if I could not hear them or understand what they were saying..I felt drained and dark and as if I was falling into the black hole..
My husband came to my rescue and told them that if they did not start up the meds again worse then my saddened state was going to happen and they would not be able to help me anymore..So they started me on liquid Prozac..That stuff tasted like pure sugar with a nasty taste..but listening to my hubby I did what he said and within a couple weeks I started to come out of the darkness....
Since then I have had days where I feel down and sad and I should be happy and excited about my new life and the strides I have made...
Today my hubby took me to the grocery store because I could not handle going alone. I told him that I wish i had been one of the ones that got better and did not have any more depression...It is not to be I guess....
All the improvements and life changes and working on myself to make me a better, healthier person; I will always suffer from that dreaded condition...Chronic depression...I really feel it today....It is a very long day today...