I am inordinately annoyed by people who lie about their surgery. It's one thing to keep details to yourself and tell the truth while sidestepping the *whole* truth. But to outright lie? That's just silly.

And annoying.

I don't like it. Either keep it entirely private or tell the truth. Don't be a liar.

~Cheri

I realize this is not my typical wordy post. I'm annoyed, cut me some slack. Also, this is not directed at anyone in particular here at the forums. It's something I've noticed amongst my set of real life WLS patients.

I'd like people to like me, but if they don't, so be it. A stranger's opinion of me matters about as much as a caterpillar pooping in a bush three miles away; can't see it, can't smell it, don't care about it.

Them telling me what to do, how to feel or how I may or may not react is just about as effective as brushing your teeth while eating a pack of Oreos.

I really like these visuals. They are both disturbing ang charming. It must be fun being you. But that is my opinion and I am stranger than any stranger that you don't know. :ph34r:

Ok so most of u do t know me I'm new here and in the pre op stage I have told only my closer friends and my side of the family. Been w my dr since sept but took my weight in aug and I'm down 25 lbs. I am not telling anyone at work but my manager who talks about EVERYONE. Said to a co worker that I must be having WLS! Honestly that pissed me off. Who is she to talk about me and my weight. I told her I was having female surgery instead of the sleeve because I want to make sure I go thru with it. I do have a substantial hiatal hernia so I'm not lying about surgery.

But people r starting to notice and are complimenting me. I am proud of myself that I decided to do WLS. Honestly I know it will be hard but living as a fat person is also very hard... I'm ready for a new hard challenge.

It's amazing what people think they have the "right" to discuss. It used to drive me nuts but now I just laugh it off. Let them wonder!

And I will clarify in case anyone stumbles upon this later.

I'm not saying that we all have to wear our surgeries on our sleeves and tell strangers about them. But know that you are going to lose a lot of weight. People are going to ask how. People are going to speculate. Telling a lie - not just evading the whole truth - can bite you in the can later on. It also makes it harder for you to come out and be open later, which could help steer other people to this life saving surgery.

I didn't divulge the whole truth to everyone, either. But I was honest. I eat less. I move more. I eat differently, counting calories and focusing on Protein. All of those things are true. And now, three years out, I have NO issues being fully honest about my operation. And three of my friends have had it done, too, and I hope my sister will be next. So my honesty and openness about this (even when it was kind of embarrassing, which it was at first) has helped those people, too.

It's one thing to keep the whole truth to yourself. It's another to outright lie and say you lost weight with pills.

~Cheri

I really like these visuals. They are both disturbing ang charming. It must be fun being you. But that is my opinion and I am stranger than any stranger that you don't know. :ph34r:

I've been called disturbing and I've been called charming but never both in the same thought.

And yes, I have fun just being me.

I think it's everybody's personal choice as to who and what to tell about your WLS> I believe in being honest and if someone asks me about why I am losing weight I tell them.. dishonesty is not a good policy it will always come back and bite you.. yes people who capitalize on their weight loss by hawking diet products when they have had weight loss surgery are basically dishonest.. Like Sharon Osbourne.. she had lapband years ago and now hawks Adkins.. Star Jones was another one.. But then we have Carnie Wilson who had Bypass and recently had a band over the Bypass she is out there talking about her weight and is very brave for doing that...

I ran into about 25 people I know at this luncheon yesterday and my son's 5th grade teacher asked if I had lost weight. She was the only one. I said, "Yes, about 25 pounds," and we left it at that. I think I'm so geared up expecting to explain to people that I forget that a lot of people ARE making small talk and nothing more.

Strangely, my two friends who were there who know about the surgery got all winky-faced and weird with me. "Are you feeling okay? You look great." And one was even trying to help me police the food at the table…including removing my wine glass (that I'd left full as a decoy and a cue to the servers not to keep pouring.) So cute. It made me laugh.

Its strange. I had a business trip this last week with a colleague I have not seen face to face in 2 years (before wls). No comments on weight loss or fit look. I have lost 180 lbs and am holding a low body fat %. Not one comment in over 2 days shared together. Really?? No need to lie if the topic never comes up I guess. We are fairly comfortable with each other after working together remotely for 2 years ( phone, email and IM). I was just surprised. Maybe it is a work thing not to talk about weight things. He did / does know I workout almost daily because I told him that on several occasions. What gives?

Its strange. I had a business trip this last week with a colleague I have not seen face to face in 2 years (before wls). No comments on weight loss or fit look. I have lost 180 lbs and am holding a low body fat %. Not one comment in over 2 days shared together. Really?? No need to lie if the topic never comes up I guess. We are fairly comfortable with each other after working together remotely for 2 years ( phone, email and IM). I was just surprised. Maybe it is a work thing not to talk about weight things. He did / does know I workout almost daily because I told him that on several occasions. What gives?

Maybe he was afraid to open up the subject. You know that is EXACTLY what my husband would do. Now, me, on the other hand, I'm gonna ask!!!!

He may have been thinking "have you done something different with your hair?"

Or, of he's unhappy with his own weight and struggling with accepting that he needs to take action, he may feel embarrassed because you did take action, and his denial only works if he doesn't bring it up. That's just speculation but I've had a couple people in my life with the same issue.

I was just wondering, if anyone thinks that maybe some people lie about the surgery is because they don't want to be held accountable? Say if they are not losing weight or if they eating the wrong foods . Maybe they are still trying to hide their food secrets. Just a thought.

I was just wondering, if anyone thinks that maybe some people lie about the surgery is because they don't want to be held accountable? Say if they are not losing weight or if they eating the wrong foods . Maybe they are still trying to hide their food secrets. Just a thought.

Well I think the decision not to tell about the surgery usually comes very early in the process. Falling off the good eating band wagon often comes after a period of enthusiastic compliance....meaning later. So I'm betting usually the 2 decisions aren't related. But I don't know. Just my speculation.

Its strange. I had a business trip this last week with a colleague I have not seen face to face in 2 years (before wls). No comments on weight loss or fit look. I have lost 180 lbs and am holding a low body fat %. Not one comment in over 2 days shared together. Really?? No need to lie if the topic never comes up I guess. We are fairly comfortable with each other after working together remotely for 2 years ( phone, email and IM). I was just surprised. Maybe it is a work thing not to talk about weight things. He did / does know I workout almost daily because I told him that on several occasions. What gives?

Its strange. I had a business trip this last week with a colleague I have not seen face to face in 2 years (before wls). No comments on weight loss or fit look. I have lost 180 lbs and am holding a low body fat %. Not one comment in over 2 days shared together. Really?? No need to lie if the topic never comes up I guess. We are fairly comfortable with each other after working together remotely for 2 years ( phone, email and IM). I was just surprised. Maybe it is a work thing not to talk about weight things. He did / does know I workout almost daily because I told him that on several occasions. What gives?

Maybe your colleague is just real enough to think that your weight is not what you are about and that you are you, no matter what your current level of weight and fitness. I, for one, would welcome it not being mentioned.

Just a thought.

Its strange. I had a business trip this last week with a colleague I have not seen face to face in 2 years (before wls). No comments on weight loss or fit look. I have lost 180 lbs and am holding a low body fat %. Not one comment in over 2 days shared together. Really?? No need to lie if the topic never comes up I guess. We are fairly comfortable with each other after working together remotely for 2 years ( phone, email and IM). I was just surprised. Maybe it is a work thing not to talk about weight things. He did / does know I workout almost daily because I told him that on several occasions. What gives?

Did you know him well before? He may nit remember what you looked like two years ago. I once asked a guy at work, "where do you sit?" Turned out he sat DIRECTLY across from me and had for about eight months. Doh.

Lynda

Well I think the decision not to tell about the surgery usually comes very early in the process. Falling off the good eating band wagon often comes after a period of enthusiastic compliance....meaning later. So I'm betting usually the 2 decisions aren't related. But I don't know. Just my speculation.

I think the decision to keep your surgery to yourself or as many say "lie about" simply is just personal. For me, it's just personal and have never discussed my medical procedures with anyone out side my husband. I am accountable to myself and my success or failure fall squarely on me and no one else.

I think for the most part people choose to say they are working hard, and working out . Some say diet and exercise. Yes, they are all true but when people do ads that say it was something else are being very deceitful You can't control that. I think they end up being exposed as frauds.

I also wonder why so many people are so concerned that any body who doesn't do it they way THEY would calls them liers and frauds, just because they don't agree or understand, Does it REALLY matter who or how we did it? The fact we did it. Yes sir, We did!

Edited November 18, 201312 yr by newat52

My wife and I could turn our weight loss into a phoney money making scheme with just our pictures.

( warning: old guy reminiscing again)

Reminds me of a friend of mine who was involved with the mob. He and his brother owned a string of nightclubs and paid off the police force, the mayor, and the governor. My friend was also an excellent card dealer, could deal up to the 5th card down, set up a game any way he wanted to. He had money to burn.

He met Jesus and quit the rackets. Miraculously, he wasn't killed by the mob. He became a preacher and lived on a very modest income. At times, Vegas would call him offering big bucks to come and deal, many times when he was in dire straits financially. He always said no.

To some people integrity is the greater possession. If you sell your soul you don't have a spare one.