I am inordinately annoyed by people who lie about their surgery. It's one thing to keep details to yourself and tell the truth while sidestepping the *whole* truth. But to outright lie? That's just silly.

And annoying.

I don't like it. Either keep it entirely private or tell the truth. Don't be a liar.

~Cheri

I realize this is not my typical wordy post. I'm annoyed, cut me some slack. Also, this is not directed at anyone in particular here at the forums. It's something I've noticed amongst my set of real life WLS patients.

I think the decision to keep your surgery to yourself or as many say "lie about" simply is just personal. For me, it's just personal and have never discussed my medical procedures with anyone out side my husband. I am accountable to myself and my success or failure fall squarely on me and no one else. I think for the most part people who choose to say they are working hard, and working out . Some say diet and exercise. Yes, they are all true so when people do ads that say it was something else are being very deceitful You can't control that. I think they end up being exposed as frauds. I also wonder why so many people are so concerned that every body doesn't do it they way THEY wood and call them liers and fraud, just because they don't agree or understand, Does it REALLY matter who or how we did it? The fact we did it. Yes sir, We did!

Keep in mind this thread is not confusing "keeping it private" with "lying." This thread was started specifically about people who make up a phony circumstance to explain weight loss.....big big difference. That is what was being discussed. It was not to insult those that simply felt the need to keep it private nor do we lump them all together.

It is not to criticize those that keep it to themselves.

I think the decision to keep your surgery to yourself or as many say "lie about" simply is just personal. For me, it's just personal and have never discussed my medical procedures with anyone out side my husband. I am accountable to myself and my success or failure fall squarely on me and no one else.

I think for the most part people who choose to say they are working hard, and working out . Some say diet and exercise. Yes, they are all true so when people do ads that say it was something else are being very deceitful You can't control that. I think they end up being exposed as frauds.

I also wonder why so many people are so concerned that every body doesn't do it they way THEY wood and call them liers and fraud, just because they don't agree or understand, Does it REALLY matter who or how we did it? The fact we did it. Yes sir, We did!

Amen sister. I've never understood this us against them mentality that we see all the time. I feel as if I am back in my twenties (and not in a good way) when it was stay at home mom VS working mother. Sheesh! What effect does it have on YOUR life if I choose not to tell the world and you do? What effect does it have on MY world if you have a lap band and I have a sleeve and that bald dude over there just got bypass?

Our personal journeys are just that - personal. Why is it that people strive so hard to feel superior over others when in reality, no one really gives a rat's ass?

Hm…accountability is an interesting concept as far as this goes. One of my reasons not to take out an ad about what I am doing, or at the least share it with everyone I come into contact with, is that I work with several large groups of volunteers, in 4 different organizations. As I counted up who I would need to inform if I did a mass email, I realized that it was at least a hundred people. I didn't like that idea at all. For one, it would have set off a chain in my little town of people arranging to bring meals every day, etc…(we LOVE to do that) and I just didn't want it to be the topic of conversation with every casual interaction I would have for months.

But I had to let my inner circle of about 15-20 people know that I was going to be out for surgery. Of that group, about half know that it was hernia + VSG. The other half (if they asked) were told hernia. If they didn't ask, but were part of that group I very generally said "some abdominal surgery." As I've gone back into circulation with the rest, some of them are now finding out that I had surgery about a month ago, but if they ask "Are you okay?" (which seems to be the most common question) I just say, "I'm doing great. Everything went well."

So to bring accountability into it, my gut instinct is to think, "Why in the world should I look at this as being accountable to anyone outside myself?" I know that works well for some people, but I feel like this is my battle. Aside from the people I pick to lean on and share it with, I don't want the volunteer I see 3 times a year looking at me sideways if *she* decides that I am eating or drinking something I shouldn't. Or that I'm not losing quickly enough. Or that I'm losing too quickly. Or that I didn't need to have the surgery. Or that I should have done it a year ago…etc.

But as Butter says, this is a far cry from telling people I've got some disease or that I have been taking happy pills to lose weight.

Keep in mind this thread is not confusing "keeping it private" with "lying." This thread was started specifically about people who make up a phony circumstance to explain weight loss.....big big difference. That is what was being discussed. It was not to insult those that simply felt the need to keep it private nor do we lump them all together.

It is not to criticize those that keep it to themselves.

I feel ya' Butter. (And then I washed my hands after.) It just seems to always turn into that by some. Shame comes up, embarrassment, unwillingness to help others by testifying to the alter of WLS, blah blah blah...

Your cancer story disgusted me far more than my story of an acquaintance peddling Herbalife and wraps being the cause of her 175 pound weight loss NOT her gastric bypass. (Cuz you know, she only lost 36 pounds with gastric. )

A friend had surgery a couple of years ago. When asked how she's losing weight, she says, "a lot of pain and hard work" (all true depending on how you look at it) and leaves it at that. I think I'm going to take that approach. So far I have only told my mom, who is also considering having the surgery as a cure for diabetes and a couple of friends who have already had the surgery. I have yet to mention to my best friend or boyfriend that I am contemplating this, and to be perfectly honest, I don't want to tell either of them. Not that I don't believe they wouldn't be supportive, but because I don't want them to slip and tell someone else, but because my boyfriend and I plan on moving in together this spring/summer, if I do have surgery, he's going to have to know.

Some of you need to get off your high horses. A little lie vs a big lie ?? Lie by omission vs commission? Degree of lying ?? Partial lie ??

How about drink a big ol glass of Metamucil mixed with MYOB because ya are full of crap.

A lie is a lie. You are a liar & hypocrite when you say I can accept a small ( or white or partial et al) and really need to spend more time on your own journey instead of speculations and judgement on those who don't feel the need to tell people one iota about their WLS.

What's worse is that you as a WLS patient should understand that more than anyone else

Ughhh

Some of you need to get off your high horses. A little lie vs a big lie ?? Lie by omission vs commission? Degree of lying ?? Partial lie ?? How about drink a big ol glass of Metamucil mixed with MYOB because ya are full of crap. A lie is a lie. You are a liar & hypocrite when you say I can accept a small ( or white or partial et al) and really need to spend more time on your own journey instead of speculations and judgement on those who don't feel the need to tell people one iota about their WLS. What's worse is that you as a WLS patient should understand that more than anyone else Ughhh

Tell us how you really feel!

Edited January 22, 201412 yr by Georgia

Some of you need to get off your high horses. A little lie vs a big lie ?? Lie by omission vs commission? Degree of lying ?? Partial lie ?? <br><br> How about drink a big ol glass of Metamucil mixed with MYOB because ya are full of crap. <br><br> A lie is a lie. You are a liar & hypocrite when you say I can accept a small ( or white or partial et al) and really need to spend more time on your own journey instead of speculations and judgement on those who don't feel the need to tell people one iota about their WLS. <br><br> What's worse is that you as a WLS patient should understand that more than anyone else<br><br> Ughhh

Exactly! Cheers!

About 8 years ago a close friend called me, all teared up and said she was dealing with a health scare and her doc and specialist said she had thyroid cancer. Of course I was truly devastated for her and spent months supporting her emotionally over the geographical distance between us since she had moved away.

Over those months after that first call, she began dropping weight - after a year she had dropped 90 lbs and claimed it was stress and medication from treatment but was feeling healthier than ever. She then told me her wonderful news how she was in remission and beat tge cancer. I was elated for her!

Long story short - we slowly grew apart over 4-5 years and I later bumped into her mother (who I hadn't seen since I was a child). I asked after my friend. Her mother casually told me how she and her husband were disappointed that their daughter had gained back all the weight from the gastric band op they paid for 5-6 years earlier. I was astonished. I mentioned the thyroid cancer and her mother said "Oh dear..you're not the only person she spun that story to".

People go to many lengths to hide their surgery. Im keeping my RNY to myself abd support those who choose to, but you'll never catch me lying about it in such a way.

Sharon Osbourne comes to mind.. She is now hawking for Adkins when I know she had a lapband years ago.. If someone ask me about my weight loss I am honest with them. I have nothing to hide. I am not ashamed that I took control of my health and had surgery to do it.

Sharon Osbourne comes to mind.. She is now hawking for Adkins when I know she had a lapband years ago.. If someone ask me about my weight loss I am honest with them. I have nothing to hide. I am not ashamed that I took control of my health and had surgery to do it.

She's pretty open about her lapband, and has had it removed.

Maybe she admitted it on "The View" or one of those other shows she's on but I don't watch any of them.. She is still a fake.

Sharon Osbourne comes to mind.. She is now hawking for Adkins when I know she had a lapband years ago.. If someone ask me about my weight loss I am honest with them. I have nothing to hide. I am not ashamed that I took control of my health and had surgery to do it.

She's pretty open about her lapband, and has had it removed.

Maybe she admitted it on "The View" or one of those other shows she's on but I don't watch any of them.. She is still a fake.

Actually, I googled it after reading your comment. There are TONS of articles where she talks about her lap band and how it made her sick., and that after she removed it she gained weight, that's what made her do Atkins. She's been plenty open about it all. Hell, she's open about EVERYTHING in her life.

But ok.

Edited January 28, 201412 yr by Sarahjane79

I thought Sharon Osborne had bypass?

I thought so too, but when I googled it, everything says lapband.