Main Entry: en·abler

Pronunciation: \i-ˈnā-blər, -bəl-ər\

Function: noun Date: 1615:

one that enables another to achieve an end ; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior

food ADDICTION

Food addiction manifests itself in the uncontrollable craving for excess food that follows the ingestion of refined carbohydrates, primarily sugar and flour substances that are quickly metabolized and turned into sugar in the bloodstream.

Due to those uncontrollable cravings, a food addict's quality of life deteriorates when he or she eats sugar, flour or wheat. It can deteriorate physically, emotionally, socially and/or spiritually.

If any of the following symptoms are familiar to you, you may be a food addict:

Physical Symptoms of Food Addiction

• Do you think you cannot control your intake of food, especially junk food or high sugar foods?

• Have you tried different diets or weight loss programs, but none has worked permanently?

• Have you found yourself vomiting, using laxatives, diuretics, or exercising a lot to avoid a weight gain after you have eaten a lot?

Many food addicts are obese and have tried numerous methods for weight control (diets, drugs, surgery, etc.) yet nothing has created a permanent solution. Other food addicts have never been obese. Their physical weight has been controlled by extreme measures such as excessive exercise, purging through vomiting or laxatives (bulimia), or the severe and unhealthy limiting of food substances(anorexia). No matter which version of food addiction fits you, all of these symptoms become more severe with time and eventually lead to physical problems that can create an early and sometimes painful death.

Emotional Symptoms of Food Addiction

• Do you find yourself feeling depressed, hopeless, sad or ashamed about your eating or your weight?

• Do you find yourself eating when you are upset or reward yourself with food when you do something good?

• Have you ever noticed after eating sugar, flour, or wheat that you become more irritable?

Food addicts notice that their emotions become more severe, intense, or unreasonable when eating the addictive substances. For many food addicts, emotional life may deteriorate into despair, depression, or thoughts of suicide.

Social Symptoms of Food Addiction

• Do you eat in private so no one will see you?

• Do you avoid social interactions because you feel you do not look good enough or do not have the proper fitting clothes to wear?

• Do you steal other people’s food?

• Are you more interested in what food is served at social gatherings than looking forward to the warmth of being with the people attending?

A food addict’s social life is affected by intense obsessive thinking about food. Making eye contact with people and taking an interest in developing friendships or intimate relationships become secondary to locating and eating addictive foods. Food addicts often hide or steal foods and eat in secret.

My mom is like you.. I think it helps her not eat when she's pushing it on others..

i bake and cook and I guess I'm a nurturer/feeder I get satisfaction when people enjoy and complement what I make

i bake and cook and I guess I'm a nurturer/feeder I get satisfaction when people enjoy and complement what I make

And that's fine..

What I was really talking about was enabling behavior as exhibited on this forum..

It's just a "trend" for a lack of a better word that I am seeing, feeling...

And that's fine.. What I was really talking about was enabling behavior as exhibited on this forum.. It's just a "trend" for a lack of a better word that I am seeing' date=' feeling...[/quote'] trendy ass people!!! stop enabling lol buy some vape cigs if you want to be trendy

When I have made the comment that I eat what ever I want..I do not follow the no Pasta, carbs, sugar free, just Protein thing...

I mean that I eat a little of everything that is good for me...I only eat a cookie if it is low in calories and high in protein...But when I sit down to a meal I do not eat any different then anyone else at the table..I cook a meal I think that follows the new way I eat....It is up to me to chose the right combinations...

I read on here all the time about people who will never eat this or eat that again...I thought the same thing at first...a lot of zeal..I realized that balance in all things are important....I stay away from the things that are sliders for me...but I am not going to eat lettuce and meat for the rest of my life...I live in a real world with real food and so I must learn to deal with it all...Fix the head and the body may follow.....

The quotes that are mentioned here were supposed to be done with humor..It got way out of control and like everything else it became horrifying to learn what some sleevers are doing to themselves....

I will never be perfect but I am so going to keep struggling to put my food addiction in its place.....I want my life back but I certainly want to enjoy the food that I do eat..even if it is just a little bit.....

:ph34r:

Edited November 1, 201312 yr by woo woo

Feeling especially vulnerable this morning for some reason, and this thread helps me - thank you!

Good thread. I always sit on the fence about labeling myself an addict, but whatever you call it (or don't call it) the behaviors were destructive enough to allow me to get up to 300 pounds. I used to say cake is like crack to me, and it still is. I weighed 140 pounds when I met my husband, and he enabled me to gain that weight. He would offer and go get whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Now he enables me to lose weight by not doing that, and encouraging me every day to stay on track. I never blamed him for my weight gain - that was all on me. He couldn't stop me from gaining now if I wanted to. So I know I have to monitor myself and my habits and intake all day, every day, forever. I'm not perfect, and don't even care to be, but at least I know what I'm consuming. If I had to point to just one thing that I've learned and feel has contributed to my success so far, I would say that it is tracking and being honest with myself about what I eat - ALWAYS. Even when I don't want to, and even when I've eaten too much, I force myself to face it.

My wife had me in training for years, she would by it and I would eat it. I'd ask her, tell her, beg her, don't by it and i wont eat it, her response have some self control... I won't go to the store at 8 or 9 at night to get it, but I will walk to the pantry. As it turns out she was right, and I've told her so. How bad do you want it, self control, willpower, it like a muscle the more you use it the stronger it gets. I have weak moments, my goal is to make better choices, stop mindless eating, if I'm that hungry eat something good. Each moment, each hour, each day, week, month... Takem one at a time be strong.

I am a food addict that fights every day with my addiction! I don't think I would be able to cope without the years therapy I had for my addiction. My sleeve keeps me from being able to binge like I used to. Wilpower and the acceptance that I can never eat certain foods keeps me sane lol. I know my triggers and as of so far have managed to deal with stressful situations ect without using old habits. Unfortunately enaberlers are not always easy to avoid and they come in all maners of sneaky forms. How I deal with enaberlers is to detach my self emotionally so I can then use certain technics I have for certain situations. So far this has worked very well.

I am most definitely an addict. I didn't ever eat in private' date=' but every waking hour revolved (and still resolves) around food. My mom is an addict also and raised me that way from a young age. "We had a bad day, let's treat ourselves." "We had a good day, let's treat ourselves." "I'm bored. Let's have a snack." I honestly do not know how to associate with people without food. Every friendship I've ever had, we would get together for a meal. My new plan is to meet people for activities instead of meals. I also ditched a few "friends" that really were not healthy friendships for me and am only keeping positive people in my life that support my goals. I'm 2 weeks out of surgery, and tonight my Aunt is coming in to town and I have to go to my parent's house, so I'm scared. I told my dad that they should have dinner and when they are done they can call me and I'll come over. That way I won't have to endure as much food pressure. I can't wait for the day that it will become easier... it probably will never go away entirely, but I will accept any improvement. It took 30 years for me to get where I am now, so it'll take a while to undo all those bad habits![/quote']

That's not a bad idea to wait after everyone eats then visit, I will be putting that in my repertoire of tricks :-)

Hi, I'm new here although I have been lurking a while. I think this is a fascinating thread. My husband and I have had this discussion a number of times. I was recently sleeved, and he is finishing up the process and hopes to have his done in December.

Like Joe, above, we have had multiple discussions about food in the house. I do all of the shopping and cooking for the family and over our 18 years together have learned to be very careful about what I buy. (For example, no tubs of ice cream in our house! If I buy them, they get eaten late at night by my husband.) And he regularly asks me to hide certain foods from him, which I hate. While there isn't a lot of junk in our house at all, he will also eat multiple yogurts if they are in the refrigerator (for example.)

He's working with a specific therapist for these issues before the surgery, of course…but I will be very curious to see how we do as a couple with our sleeves. The one thing I've noticed even though I'm very early on is that my compliance to this program is all on me, and if i get upset about what other people are eating or give me access to, I'm going to be a very lonely girl.

Anyway, thanks for starting the thread.

May I be so bold to suggest that those who justify and seek permission/absolution with regards to their drug of choice are the same ones who thought WLS was a cure? That the sleeve would do the fighting for them?

When I went to Mexicali for my WLS Dr. Campos made an analogy that really stuck in my head.

Summarizing the analogy:

Losing weight, especially for the obese, is like a table with 4 legs. Two of the legs are WLS. The 3rd leg is choosing good fuel to put in your body as opposed to crap. The 4th leg is exercising. Get off your rear and move more.

If you take any of those legs away from the table, the table does not function as well as it could/should.

Edited November 3, 201312 yr by AmandaRaeLeo

Very interesting thread. I think I was physically addicted to simple carbs and sugar, but I don't have the emotional dependence you list and I didn't eat in secret. I also rarely binged. But I did eat uncontrollable amounts of carbs, especially toward the end.

The enabling on this forum terrifies me and makes me sad. I have to stay away from threads that encourage cheating. I have to stop reading and unsubscribe from threads that go on to talking about food that I'm trying really hard not to eat. I am afraid reading about donuts and cake and Cookies will tempt me to remember how good those tasted, and before you know it, I'll be found face first in a cake.

I realize this isn't a problem for others. It's MY problem and I have to deal with it on my own. I'm not saying others shouldn't post in jest about forbidden foods. I'm just saying I can't read those threads because they trigger my cravings.

But the threads that actively ENCOURAGE going off the plan especially for pre-ops or recently sleeved? Those just make me angry. I don't like feeling angry because that means I am being judgmental and I don't want to be judgmental. They infuriate me and scare me.

Doing something unsafe or self-destructive and then seeking absolution? And getting it? I don't think that's a good role for a SUPPORT forum to play. Supportive is saying, yes we all make mistakes, now get back on the plan. If your version of support is to say "honey it's okay, I do it too", that's not support, that's enablement.

I totally get that I sound very definitive and judgmental in this post. I know that it will anger some people and I will apologize in advance. Please know that the context of the post is simply sharing what *I* struggle with, not my version of saying "here's what YOU are doing wrong".

I struggle with posts talking about food I should not be eating. I struggle when we enable addicts.

I struggle when we grant absolution for what is physically dangerous behavior that could lead to leaks and complications. I struggle when we tell people to ignore their doctors pre-op diets because someone didn't have that diet. I struggle when we tell a newly-sleeved person it's okay to have a taco on day 3 "because I did and nothing bad happened."

Fortunately I have the option to just not read those threads and/or to not visit the forum on the days those threads seem to be everywhere.

Even more fortunately, I'm grateful for all the truly supportive, encouraging, loving posts on here that have made this forum a significant part of my life right now.

Thanks for reading my long ramble

Food addict reporting for duty. I find the closer I get to goal the more I see how easy it is to let those behaviors reemerge. I don't know if it is fear of getting to goal and then what? As an addict, once I start on a trigger food all control goes out the window. That's why there can't be certain foods in my house. I imagine it is like telling and alcoholic one sip is ok. Where I am currently challenged is that my addiction is always seeking a new outlet, a food that held no power over me one day like cookies (I'm a crackers/chips kind of girl) can suddenly become my drug of choice. I am already dreading this week a bit as I must do what all addicts do and go cold turkey. Today, I am getting all of the Halloween treats out if the house and pushing water. I've got 2 carb-bloat pounds that I need to get off from a week of feeding the addiction.

So I have had people ask me "how did you do it?" - I mean beyond the WLS, Savvy people know that even post surgery many people don't lose more then 50-75% of their excess weight. For me, just eating normal with the help of the sleeve I could get down to say under 200# but getting to the size I am now took being a little radical - low carbs, exercise, great reduction in consumption. Not saying it is what everyone should do or needs to do - but when high BMI people "hope" to have success similiar to mine I tell what it took for me. That is interpeted as being radical or hardcore -no, it's the truth.

I have chosen to re-arrange aspects of my life to be less food centered. Easter we didnt do our usual food orgy Breakfast, we hiked to the top of a ridge with a beautiful view. I simply don't hang out with food oriented people anymore because I cannot spend so much time planning food, cooking food, and I expecially don't want to hang with the food pushers.... it all triggers my desire to overeat. I have alot of "willpower" - I always have - the difference is I am smarter now. I make the decision ONCE (ie don't buy the box of Cookies, tub of ice cream or spend the day with a foodie person) instead of a thousand times - like everytime walking by that open box of cookies would force me to do.

Anyway, this weight loss journey is a challenge. None of us vets got to the current "headspace" overnight and along the way, we saw alot of people NOT reach a healthy weight and feel disappointment over that. It is easy to come across very strident about these things we feel passion over and just cringe at all the happy backslapping over all the great stuf that a sleever "can eat". In the end, each person has to make the choice themselves (do I eat it because I CAN or becuase it's what my body needs) and I sometimes wonder if trying to share insights from the school of hard knocks actually helps anybody at all.