Hi. I am new here and I could use some advice. I am going to have the band procedure and insurance is not going to cover it. I have to pay out of pocket. My husband is not happy about the insurance issue. The procedure has now become an argument. He has even accused me of not trying to lose weight on my own.

That is why I need advice...How do you make someone understand the emotional stress of being overweight? How do you prove to them that you have tried hard enough on your own? How do you explain to someone the psychological stress of being overweight? He just doesn't get it. He is basically accusing me of being lazy. My BMI is 30. That doesn't mean that I feel less pain of someone with a BMI of 40+. Being overweight doesn't make me lazy. I am very distressed and I told him to "Go Scratch." I am having this done with or without his support. I will work a second job to pay for it, too. I am not worried about him being mad at me right now because he pissed me off..and pissed me off good. I told him, "Gee, should I stick me finger down my throat like your sister?" That's cheaper. When he wanted to buy a boat for 30 grand, it was no problem. Why can't I have something? Any advice on how to get someone to understand weight issues?

Thank you for listening,

Sue3

Theresa,

I am sorry that you are emotionally stressing. I do not disagree that weight loss is part of the equation. I am not much older than you (33) and am a student as well. With my job as a Police Officer and working on my dissertation at the same time, I get frustrated and stressed as well. Just try to keep things in perspective, if you can. It's difficult when there is so much going on. To speak for myself and only myself... I deal with all kinds of people (if you want to call them people,) issues and events in the City of Chicago by night and by day, I deal with professionals (Professors and fellow Phd. students.) Sometimes it is difficult to flip flop my mindset, if you will. I would dare to say that "We All" have issues in our lives that produce stress and emotion. I won't say that, though. I know that you and I have many stressors and I am sure we are not alone. Just remember that in the event you pass or fail a course or if you are fighting with your husband...if that is the worst part of your day, then you're doing pretty well. I am not disregarding that you have feelings, but just try to keep things in perspective, that's all. I will do the same. And my advice to you regarding what you write in here is to write what you will write and say what you will say. If in fact, you do not use the most politically correct choice of words, do not sweat it. As long as your intent is good, and I believe it is and you do not write to belittle anyone, I think most people will not take offense. Intent is everything with me. Everyone (and yes I said everyone) makes mistakes, but the intent behind those mistakes makes or breaks them with me. Some of course will not agree with me, you or anyone for that matter, but don't feel bad. Just be yourself. Thank you for making me fell better with my lapband situation. You seem like a very kind person. Take care of yourself, Theresa.

Sue3

By Dec. I will be Dr. Sue3---I can't wait!! Not so much to be Dr. Sue3, but to be finished with school for a very long time, if not forever. I am sure you can relate. Enough is enough.

Thanks Sue,

You sound pretty friendly and competent yourself. I do try to keep things in perspective and take deep breathes when I need them. I can't imagine being a police officer and the personal stresses you must go thru everyday. I think that would be a challenging job. I am going to be a high school science teacher so I am sure I'll deal with my fair share of stressful days. LOL. This has just been a long summer and I will be very relieved when this class is over. I have mainly just noticed subtle changes in how I react to things and considering I have lost 62 lbs in a little over 4 months I'm sure has at least a little to do with it. This class has made it so I don't see my husband all week and that makes communicating difficult too. I have my final next week and there finally be some nice peace. No more cramming for horrendous chemistry exams every week... My bachelor's will be 100% done!!! I sure hope we get to keep in touch on this forum and everything works out smoothly for your banding. For the most part everyone is really nice on this site and you won't find a better support team. Anyway I got to go, Best wishes, Teresa

Theresa, a 62 pound weight loss??? WOW! That is fantastic! You MUST post a new avatar pic soon!

Congratulations!

62 lbs.!!! Wow, Teresa, I'm choking on my protein shake here! I can't even think of something that weights that much to get a visual! Amazing, simply amazing! I am so proud of you!!!!:Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny

Sue3 and Teresa, both of you are carrying a heavy (no pun intended) load - working, homelife, and going to school! Sending encouragement to both of you and a big pat on the back -- for a job well done!

Teresa, I always enjoy reading your posts. 62 lbs. lost and a college degree gained? You've had one heck of a season. Congratulations! I hope you give yourself a well-deserved treat.

Teresa,

Congratulations on your weight loss. How awesome! I am glad you'll be finishing up your degree as well. What an accomplishment. You should be very proud of yourself. Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again, thank you for everything. And, yes we must keep in touch.

I am going for the pre-op testing on Wed., 08 Sep. Wish me luck. From there, I will schedule a date for the procedure. Although I have researched, maybe you can help me know more of what to expect from the procedure, weight loss, etc. when I get closer to my procedure date?

New Hope,

Thank you for the pat on the back. Although I feel stressed at times, I feel lucky that I have the luxury of job security and an educational opportunity. I think it would be hard for me if I had kids to worry about in addition to school & work. But I don't, so it's really not that bad. I just wish I could lose this weight. Then, I could say that I am truly happy. Thanks again.

Sue3