Hi. I am new here and I could use some advice. I am going to have the band procedure and insurance is not going to cover it. I have to pay out of pocket. My husband is not happy about the insurance issue. The procedure has now become an argument. He has even accused me of not trying to lose weight on my own.

That is why I need advice...How do you make someone understand the emotional stress of being overweight? How do you prove to them that you have tried hard enough on your own? How do you explain to someone the psychological stress of being overweight? He just doesn't get it. He is basically accusing me of being lazy. My BMI is 30. That doesn't mean that I feel less pain of someone with a BMI of 40+. Being overweight doesn't make me lazy. I am very distressed and I told him to "Go Scratch." I am having this done with or without his support. I will work a second job to pay for it, too. I am not worried about him being mad at me right now because he pissed me off..and pissed me off good. I told him, "Gee, should I stick me finger down my throat like your sister?" That's cheaper. When he wanted to buy a boat for 30 grand, it was no problem. Why can't I have something? Any advice on how to get someone to understand weight issues?

Thank you for listening,

Sue3

Hi Sue,

I am glad your hubby came around. Very WISE of him... LOL. My hubby can be stubborn too but thank goodness he was fairly supportive of me getting banded even though I was a self pay (actually hubbies daddy paid for me) and it was being done in Tijuana Mexico. I think he was a little jealous about the money being spent on the procedure for me but otherwise he is happy I am losing weight. I also think initially my husband was/ is concerned that when I am cute, thin and attractive I'll move on. Don't think so. He does drive me crazy sometimes but I always like it when we make up. We spent the last two days in a huff with each other and finally I got sick of it and left a note last night saying, "Truce?" I came home today and he was all cute and sweet and had cleaned the WHOLE HOUSE!!!

I had a BMI of 62.2 when I got banded and weighed 362 lbs. Many people here started off heavier than a BMI of 30. I didn't have any co-morbidities. Does that mean I shouldn't have had it done? No, I am only 30 and would have eventually had them. I wanted to avoid them at all costs. 30 lbs or so off of you will probably make all the difference in the world to your health and I think you will consider it a success in the long run. I don't know how much you need to lose but can definitely understand your frustration about not being able to lose it on your own. I have been fighting weight my WHOLE life and just got fed up with the battle. In 4 months I am now down 60 lbs and have dropped 10 whole BMI points. Best wishes and best of luck. Please stay here and let us get to know you more, Teresa

Thanks for the kind words. I'll let you know how everything turns out.

Sue3

I just want to extend my sincere apologies if my response made you feel unwelcome or attacked.

It was my total intention to help you understand the seriousness of the procedure, & guide you to make an informed decision. I made an uninformed reply, based on the information given, which really wasn't enough for me to understand what you needed. Seeing the whole picture of what you're going through changes everything, and I hope you continue to feel welcome and supported.

This forum has totally guided me and informed me like nowhere else I've looked. I hope it does the same for you.

Good Luck!

Pam

Please remember that we are just band patients sharing our experiences. We do not have medical knowledge or training. Please research your dr. of choice very carefully - his/her training, surgical expertise, former patients, follow-up care, etc. When you have chosen a Dr., then please follow his/her particular rules for preop, surgery, and follow-up care. Drs. seem to vary greatly in their treatment plans, but I'm sure that they have specific reasons for doing so. Best of luck to you!

Sue3,

I'm new to the board and was getting ready to post my intro thingy and came across your post. I'm glad your hubby came around, because I wasn't going to have any good ideas for that... but I wanted to mention an even less evasive option than the lapband. Inamed (creators of the band) also make a balloon for the stomach. They put it in through your mouth and inflate it once it's in the stomach. The goal is to make you feel full after not having much (similar to the band). The difference being that it's not a surgery, and it's temporary. After six months it's removed. The main goal is that you learn new habits etc.

If you are already coming down with the 'morbitities' associated with being overweight (high cholesterol, etc as mentioned) then you may want to do the band anyway, but I thought I'd let you know about another option that I'd read about (it is also cheaper).

If you end up being self pay, or you are having trouble finding a surgeon because of your 'low' BMI, you should consider some of the surgeons in Mexico. My band was put in by Dr. Rumbaut in Monterrey Mexico, and my fills are done by Dr. Kuri in Tijuana (cuz I can drive there). They were both really great people. Dr. Kuri also works with a company to provide financing, which you may also want to consider if you are self pay.

I wish you luck. Keep us posted

Sarah

Sue,

As we lose weight, hormones are released like crazy. I find myself having crazy moodswings. Remember this is a board where we are ALL losing weight. Forgive all of us if we just jumped in and made assumptions about the criterias for banding. I love my band and think everybody should have one but I do know that it is a surgery and surgery always carries some level of risk and that is the concern many people were sharing. I sure wish you all the luck in the world and hope your diabetes is cured by this time next year. I've never had it but never have wanted it either. Teresa:cool:

Originally posted by hagerteresa

Sue,

As we lose weight, hormones are released like crazy. I find myself having crazy moodswings. Remember this is a board where we are ALL losing weight. Forgive all of us if we just jumped in and made assumptions about the criterias for banding.

Not everyone is losing. Not everyone has hormone issues; I think it's age-related. Some of us are beyond that.

GeezerSue,

I understood what Theresa wrote. Clarifying, modifying, reiterating or outright contradicting her statement was unnecessary. (I am not sure which, if any of the terms above, reflects the purpose of your reply.) I do not believe Theresa intended to speak for everyone.

To All,

Thanks to all for the encouragement and support. I will certainly keep you informed of my progress...and I intend to majorly progress!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, again! You've been fabulous.

Sue3

Hi Sue3,

I am not sure what Geezersue was trying to imply either... LOL. Oh-well, as far as I know this is a banding sight and most of us banded are slowly but surely winning the weight battle. Maybe she is past hormonal phases but I know many of us still deal with the roller coaster as we lose. None of it is anything out of control but I do notice a difference about how I react to things. When my husband might be griping about something in the past, I would lie low and just try to get him to calm down. Now if he has tantrum I just give it right back. I think he is still amazed and adjusting to that response... On the other hand I have a very difficult chemistry class right now and the teacher likes to really challenge us on the exams. I used to leave feeling kind of mad and somewhat upset when I knew I didn't do so hot, but now I downright sob all the way home about it. And then I cried when I actually passed that segment (it meant I was going to have to survive another 4 weeks of chemistry torture). I also recall at about 2 or 3 months post-op, I would go weigh in and happily find I lost another few lbs for the week and feel absolutely elated but then 10 minutes later I would be driving along and hear some sad story that would move me to tears. My mom always did consider me a little mellow dramatic and I always have been able to cry over anything pretty easily. Over all I am thrilled with my progress and the surgery in general. I am at my lowest low in probably 10 years. Considering I am only 30 years old, I find that pretty amazing. Keep us posted about your surgery date and such. Ask if you come up with any questions. Teresa;)

Gosh, Teresa, I'm old enough to be your Mother! I better go put some more eye cream on! :D

Ah Marie,

I have an old soul... LOL. For some reason I have ALWAYS related better with older people. During my early education I always related VERY well with my teachers and would spend all my spare time with them. Even now all of my closest friends are my customers and they are all much older than I am. All are slightly younger or slightly older than my parents. When I run the bed and Breakfast most of the guests I take care of are older. I am alse very good at handling difficult guests and can charm the pants off of them. The best days of my life were after I graduated high school. I was teased horrifically all thru those years and then suddenly I was free of it! I have always dealt with people old and mature enough who understood my weight is only an appearance. I have met some mean spirited adults who still like to belittle others but I choose to have nothing to do with those type of people.

Marie, I have no doubt that you don't really need that eye cream. The only lines you would have around your eyes are smile/ laugh lines and those are always in-style in my book.

Originally posted by sue3

GeezerSue,

I understood what Theresa wrote. Clarifying, modifying, reiterating or outright contradicting her statement was unnecessary. (I am not sure which, if any of the terms above, reflects the purpose of your reply.) I do not believe Theresa intended to speak for everyone.

To All,

Thanks to all for the encouragement and support. I will certainly keep you informed of my progress...and I intend to majorly progress!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, again! You've been fabulous.

Sue3

Perhaps you missed the part where Teresa said "Remember this is a board where we are ALL losing weight. Forgive all of us if we just jumped in and made assumptions about the criterias for banding."

Teresa took it upon herself to speak for "all of us." I was just opting out of the representation. I'd rather not have a spokesperson.

My comments were certainly not "necessary." But, given the circumstances, they were my right. I can't speak for others, but I know that I'd rather speak for myself or choose my spokesperson myself. I wasn't given that option in this situation. So I reiterate: Not everyone is losing; not everyone has hormone issues; and I neither request nor need "forgiveness."

This is the second time in this thread where someone took it upon themselves to either castigate others or apologize for others. I think we can speak for ourselves. If I don't agree with something someone else says I can email them or post my opinion. I don't think it's my job to scold another member for his or her opinion or to apologize for the stated opinions of another. Opinions vary. Except for in Stepford.

And I'm pretty sure Alexandra is the moderator.

O.K., we all are entitled to our own opinions, which are always going to vary, so it keeps the world from getting boring.

Now, in those infamous words, "Why can't we all just get along?"

Love all you guys! :D

No problem, Geezer Sue. I will certainly remember not to represent you in the future. I realize not everybody is on the same wave length. Teresa

Thanks, Teresa...'preciate it.