My company got new insurance for 2013, so I will (hopefully) be able to have surgery this year!! I started the process last year only to find bariatric surgery was not covered. I think I should qualify through the different requirements.

I have some worries, and maybe they are dumb, but I'd love feedback!

I am 30 years old, 5'3" and weigh 250 lbs. I've never been smaller than a 10. But at a 10, I still seemed to have a lot of extra flab. Especially my upper arms, they have been disproportionately large my whole life. So I worry that when I lose weight I'll have all of this extra skin on my arms. Or my arms will stay fat and never be normal size! Has anyone had their arms done? If you have, do you have a long scar?

I also have always felt embarrassed about my weight and I don't discuss it with people. I'll need to be out of work at least two weeks after surgery, but I don't even want my close work friends to know.. I work for a large company and see many different people daily. I don't want to have everyone know and talk about me behind my back.. how have others handled this? I know everyone will want to know what surgery I'm having.

I know these sound like trivial worries when the surgery will be so good for me health-wise. Weight has just always been a sensitive subject for me.

Welcome! You don't have to get into any specifics about your surgery, all you need to tell them is that you're having a medical procedure and need the time off for recovery. If there are any issues, go to your HR person.

I too have been through the process only go find that I wasn't approved. Totally understand how you feel there!

Well I am the HR person and I did not tell them! I just said surgery. Lol. I told I one close friend in case I collapsed on the floor (the things you think of prior to surgery is crazy). My boss knows now, I think, since my return to work not had bariatric center of excellence written on it. I had not been there that long and didn't want my business out there. And yes if people talk go to HR :-).

I work with a bunch of great people, I only told my very close work assoiates and very close family/friends. I had 110% support from all. when people at work say "wow you look great"... I say thank you If they ask how am I doing it... i say "diet and exercise" which is what I am doing. Please don't feel obligated to tell EVERYONE your medical histroy... to me that is personal and YOUR business.. who you chose to tell is up to you but don't feel obligated to tell anyone !!!

I only told a few people and the rest at work I just said I was having abdominal surgery. It's not lying....it was done in my abdomin. They of course now know for the most part because I've lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I'm not worried about it and I've been fortunate not to hear any negative comments so far.

As far as flab under your arms...well yup that doesn't go away and yup it can get worse looking because there isn't anything filling them up anymore but, I'll take that over the health issues that can cause issues because of the added weight. When I'm done losing weight...I'll make the decision then whether or not to have the lose skin removed. Can't even begin to think of it now...I have quite a bit more to go.

You've got age on your side. Being 30, there is a chance your skin still has a lot of elasticity and may bounce back. If it does sag, that can be something you may have to deal with later... But just think of the smaller, healthier you that will be dealing with it. When I requested dates off of work, I just said surgery. No one asked questions, so I did not have to answer them. I told a couple of folks at work, and I think that wound up backfiring, as I now think a lot more people know about the RNY. At this point though, I'm only concentrating on me and getting healthier! Good Luck!

Well I always say what people don't know won't hurt you.

That and I don't care what people say about me I have been fat all my life and growing up fat in school is curl. You learn to turn your back on what people say about you.

As for the skin it will shrink back to a point. Put it like this stretch a rubber band to the point it won't stretch any more with out breaking and hold it like that for say 10 years

Now let go it may stretch back a bit but you have stretched it to the point it won't go back. Youth is on your side just wait and see. And your arms will shrink to that won't stay fat

Good luck on your approval

Going to HR is a really serious process where I work, so I'd hate to put anyone through that. I guess I need to just get over it--people will talk. I'm really not interested in being a RNY spokesperson, though. So I'd like to just tell even my close work friends that I had to have some sort of intestinal/bowel surgery. That will pretty much be true, I just won't be sharing why. Thank you all! I really do need some supportive words. My mother is against the surgery and one friend that I have told is always telling me the things that could go wrong! So in my personal life I only have one friend supporting my decision.

Going to HR is a really serious process where I work' date=' so I'd hate to put anyone through that. I guess I need to just get over it--people will talk. I'm really not interested in being a RNY spokesperson, though. So I'd like to just tell even my close work friends that I had to have some sort of intestinal/bowel surgery. That will pretty much be true, I just won't be sharing why. Thank you all! I really do need some supportive words. My mother is against the surgery and one friend that I have told is always telling me the things that could go wrong! So in my personal life I only have one friend supporting my decision.[/quote']

I have found that since my surgery that a lot of people have had RNY and a lot more people now understand and are supportive. The only people that I have found that don't get why we have this type of surgery are skinny people that have never had a weigh problem.

So tell them what I would say to some like that I'm fat and I'm loosening weight there's not much you can do to ugly LOL

I'm not a spokesperson for RNY but I will tell anyone that wants a education in RNY to be better informed and to under stand why this is our last and only chance to live a long and full life

As for support you have this forum and everyone on it just vent away ask what ever you want somebody will answer you

I told work I had a hernia that had to be fixed and at the same time decided to do rny- hernias a lie lol I just didnt want to be told I was taking time off for an "elective" procedure. I only decided to tell then rny bc I'm hoping I'll be losing so much it'll be hard to hide

When I had my Nurse Education class, she actually advised its a good idea to NOT tell them it's for RNY. Since its technically an elective surgery they might try to tell you when you can take the time off for it. If you just tell them it's surgery, it's probably better. My boss knows, but that's it. I really don't care if anyone else knows, and I know once I go back to work after surgery some people will ask me what happened. And I'll tell them. But I'm not just going to go up to people and tell them for no reason either. If you ask, I'll tell.

My company saw that for me RNY was not elective but was a life saving surgery. Serval others in the company had the surgery before me so the company understands what the surgery can do for my Heath and will save the company lost time and earnings.

Ok not every company is this understanding and everyone has to go at their company the best way you can to get what you need in the end.

Makes you kind of wish there was a super star actor that was going though RNY. Only then would people take notice and pay attention because people only care about what's on the Idiot box called TV and who and what the rich and famous are doing. Till then it's our world and we let everyone in