I am defeated I feel like such a failure.I have not spoken to anyone about this but I am freaked out. I have been pigging out on birthday cookie today and I can't tell if I have the right amount of restriction or not I can eat pretty much anything comfortably except dry chicken or beef. I am filled to 2.5 cc and I go back on 8/23 and I want to be filled to thr max but he keeps telling me I am tight so what is the deal is ait all mental I am stuck at the same 25 pds I lost my first month. I see the progress others are making and I get so disgusted with myself. I am a very positive person can't you tell? Seriously I am a hairdresser and big mistake I let everyone know what I was doing and now EVERYDAY every client ask me so how's it going and I want to say well let's see I puked on Tuesday binged on Wed. everything seems normal how the hell are you. Anyway I need some suggestions from you wise ones out ther in never nevre land. Thanks for letting me vent.

Dr. Spegiel

4/19/04

299/275/130

You can never share too much here! About 100 years ago I went to the Schick Clinic. If anyone's old enough to remember, they used shock and aversion therapy to make you quit smoking and eating. I was only 18, and they had these zappers attached to my wrists and made me chew goodies while they zapped me and squirted fish emulsion into my nostrils, while mashing chocolate in one hand and shoving spoons of salt and sugar in my already overstuffed mouth. (I'd say it was prime time for my band.) Anyway, after the humiliating session as I was bawling & hurling simultaneously, the instructor (Hitler's twin) forced me to wipe my hands on my blouse. I refused. The idiot was trying to make me mash melted chocolate all over my clothes. He said, "what's the difference if you put it IN your body or ON your body?

No wonder I'm ready for the funny farm.

Years later I saw another shrink who told me to throw away food. He said "it all turns to waste anyway, so why put it through your body, which only hurts you." Now that was a good point.

Wow, that must have really been an experience! I never heard of anything like that before. It is a wonder you didn't spit it in his face!

I too was brought up with the clean your plate stuff, because there are starving children in this world.

I guess it stuck with me huh?

Betty

Originally posted by DeLarla

You can never share too much here!

maybe

after the humiliating session as I was balling & hurling simultaneously...

Yeah! And for your partner, as well. Oh...you mean bawling!

Never mind....

(Sorry, Lisa, the devil made me do it.)

.

Oops, I fixed my typo! Yeah, and I paid for that service! I was 18, and everyone else was running off to spring break in their bikinis, while I spent my money at the Schick Center for what should have been illegal torture treatment.

Yeah...I went to their smoking place...on LaCienega...back around 1970. It must have worked because I stopped smoking...in 2000.

They told us to drink Water instead of alcohol and chew a clove instead of lighting up. I announced that I was going to be the only girl in town who wanted a glass of water before and a clove after. ( A rather "spirited" comment for 1970.)

Originally posted by GeezerSue

Yeah...I went to their smoking place back around 1970. It must have worked because I stopped smoking...in 2000.

I announced that I was going to be the only girl in town who wanted a glass of Water before and a clove after. ( A rather "spirited" comment for 1970.)

Sue, it sounds like you got the "time released" quit smoking program! And I can see that you've always been a rebel!

Originally posted by ginnykyellott

Well Sue I eat like ---t. But I am going to start over today Proteins are hard to eat so I stay away which of course leads me to carbs or junkfood so I will do better today. Tahnks Paula for the liquid idea I might give that a try. Thanks you guys

Proteins are hard to eat because _______. ? (Eating too fast, not chewing well enough, OR....?) This makes me wonder if you might be filled a little too tight. I mention this because when I am filled too tight, I live off of things that won't get hung up...in other words, pureed, mushy, liquid foods. The band has almost no effect on that kind of food, so there is almost no weight loss. Eventually, I get reflux and have to get unfilled. And then I start over. But I think I keep getting tighter after the fill...so that I need to be "not quite tight enough" in the office.

I am getting an adjustment in two weeks. (When I do, the band will have been empty for three months. Ugh.) It appears that my new insurance will actually pay for this. So, I know what the fill level was when I developed pretty bad reflux within a month. And I know what it was when it took me about three months to get reflux. And, so, we're aiming for a little teensy fill.

Another reason I have slow weight loss is that I'm crazy. (Obvious, but worth mentioning for newcomers.)

Hi Sue,

Oh, don't worry about me, I know, I know. The truth is I definitely did not eat healthy for about 4 days last week eating things like fried chicken (INCLUDING THE SKIN!!!), Cookies, Pasta salad, candy bars etc. OUT OF CONTROL!!! The family picnic was the biggest culprit followed by inn-sitting and sorrounded by lots and lots of candy and cookies.

I have been banded something like 13.5 weeks and have lost at least something every week by eating better with the band. I am due for a depo shot which means my time of the month (hypothetically) would be coming on till I get my next shot... Who knows. I just gave in for a few days. I still have good restriction even without a fill and have to be very careful not PB'ing. Everytime I think I am over that hump of not needing to be cautious I get a serious reminder.

I am not kicking myself for the plateau and realize they do occurr naturally BUT I also know where I failed last week and am looking to correct it. Isn't that what we are supposed to do?

Donali, trust me, I don't deprive myself. Recall earlier conversations about allowing myself a 24 oz. iced white choc. carmel mocha (all sugar free) and my one a day candy bar. I am normally fabulous about keeping it at one a day but the last few days it was more like 2 or 3 in a row! I have a major chemistry exam tomorrow and have been freaked and stressing about that for weeks. The school take a whole 10 week term of class and compresses it into 4 weeks during the summer. I have been busting my A** trying to pass weekly midterms and labs. If I pass this one it will just lead to another month for the last one in the series. I am honestly at the point I am sick of torturing myself with chemistry and ready to throw in the towel. If I pass I get rewarded with another 4 weeks of total torture. If I don't pass I won't be able to take it again till spring of NEXT year. I am in a rock and a hard place and just sick of it.

I think that has been another big factor to my naughty eating.

Oh-well, anyway... I am back on track and doing better food wise. Ginny keep your chin up and keep practicing making good choices, Teresa

As I read this thread I get a little scared. I'm praying for something to help me eat less. I can make healthy food choices, for the most part, but I can eat an awful lot.

Some of these posts make it sound like I may be eating a lot still. Granted, I'm unbanded, and struggling to imagine something still beyond my ability. Only you who have lived it, know what it is.

Still, I take comfort that you all are losing, but wonder about myself. I've obviously got to do some serious work on Ryan before this tool will ever help me.

It seems like my eating is even more out of control since I made the decision to get banded. It's like I'm saying goodbye to food, even when I consciously understand that I'll eat normal food again.

Maybe what I'm really saying goodbye to is gormandizing. A gourmet eats for the quality, and a gourmand eats for the quantity. And I'm gourmandizing like crazy. The refrigerator shudders when I look in its direction. Ponderosa goes on red alert when I pull in the lot. When I walk through the doors at Sav-A-Lot the overhead is heard shouting "Battlestations"!

Maybe it isn't any more out of control than usual (heh heh) and I'm just more aware of it. I know I am aware of the wagging sack of extra poundage I carry around my middle. I'm aware of what it does to my self image, my percieved self worth.

I know that, for me at least, the grim reaper isn't all skin and bones, carrying a scythe. Nope, he's a jolly old soul, more like a scary grey Santa, and the scythe is a fork. And hanging from his adipose demonic frame, are rolls and rolls of fat. He nods at me and grins, and waggles his shiny fork, just enough that it twinkles in the comforting glow of the refrigerator light. His mockery is a challenge, and I am aware that I must fight. Fight to the death, and use whatever help I can get. And if that help, that weapon to counter his shining fork, is a glorified hose clamp made of silicone; so be it.

But I spy another weapon, more subtle, yes, but perhaps more powerful in the end. The support, and comfort I feel radiating from this forum, from you folks.

Perhaps that's why I come and read often. I feel this connection across time and miles, to others who have gone before, who are, even now, paving the way, cutting down the overhanging jungle, and showing us, who travel behind, where the potholes are, where we might trip up.

Thank God for the band, thank God for the Internet, and Thank God for you.

Sue, you just don't know how much your post has helped me. Since I was filled 2 weeks ago, I can't eat more than 3 or 4 bites of a "healthy meal", it always gets stuck and I'm PBing. Yet, I can eat pringles, candy or any other crap, no problem. So, of course, I'm not really losing, cause I am eating soft stuff. I must be too tight. Duh!

Question is: If I stick to liquid protien shakes, and manage to lose some will my band get looser? I am on my first fill and am at 1.2 cc.

My daughter (who has lost 70 lbs. with her band) says I should try this in lieu of an unfill. What do ya think?

Teresa,

(re-hashing what I mentioned earlier)

I read LOOOOONG ago that when we hit a month plateau (no weight loss, fat feeling, junk food eating, etc) that we should do a couple of days back on the liquid diet..... adding to what I said earlier, the article stated that it also helps our bodies get back into the weight loss mode again.

Not sure if it actually works, but just thought it was worth mentioning. It seems like I read it when i was getting info about WLS.

Right now, Ive got FIVE kids at my feet, so Im not gonna even TRY to to find this article.

Whippledaddy, your post made me laugh! I'm scheduled to be banded on Aug. 26, and the last couple of days have been one big bon voyage party, as if I'm never going to see a Krispy Kreme again. (It's not the Ponderosa but the local patisseries that bring out the fork lifts for me.) Did a lot of you go through this? Reading everyone's notes has reminded me that I'm not headed to a post-band dessert-less desert, nor am I getting a miracle cure -- just a tool to help me lose weight.

I don't want to gain extra pounds before the surgery, but I'm going to a wedding reception just a few days before banding (and no, according to my surgeon I don't have to be on a liquid diet yet) and I think I'm going to fall face-first into the wedding cake!

The grim reaper as a flabby gray Santa -- a frightening but apt image. I'm just trying to hit menopause as a relatively fit woman rather than a heart attack waiting to happen. Just keep me away from Sacher Torte.

Zoe

Ryan and Zoe, you'll also probably wonder about 2 weeks after surgery, "What have I done?" You'll be "grieving" for your old pal (?) Food. But hang in there. It's only a temporary thing. Once you're able to resume eating solid foods, see the scales drop, your clothes are looser, your RXs reduced, and your energy level elevated --- you'll realize there is life out there that doesn't revolve around "the flavor of the day". You're going to do great!