I am defeated I feel like such a failure.I have not spoken to anyone about this but I am freaked out. I have been pigging out on birthday cookie today and I can't tell if I have the right amount of restriction or not I can eat pretty much anything comfortably except dry chicken or beef. I am filled to 2.5 cc and I go back on 8/23 and I want to be filled to thr max but he keeps telling me I am tight so what is the deal is ait all mental I am stuck at the same 25 pds I lost my first month. I see the progress others are making and I get so disgusted with myself. I am a very positive person can't you tell? Seriously I am a hairdresser and big mistake I let everyone know what I was doing and now EVERYDAY every client ask me so how's it going and I want to say well let's see I puked on Tuesday binged on Wed. everything seems normal how the hell are you. Anyway I need some suggestions from you wise ones out ther in never nevre land. Thanks for letting me vent.

Dr. Spegiel

4/19/04

299/275/130

Penni, my insurance doesn't cover the band, so they certainly won't cover port replacement? I'd be at Dr. Billy's in a heartbeat. There's no possible way I can afford Billy. He's twice the cost of Kuri, who'll be about $2 grand for port replacement and travel. Billy would charge $2 grand just for the hospital, plus his fee, anesthesia, and travel. If I had that kinda dough, I'd have had the band placed locally from the getgo.

Billy said he'd take me on with no problem... oh, except the problem of he wants money, and lots of it! There's no possible way. If I had my port, it might be a different story, but until I heal, it's a moot point anyway. I haven't even paid Kuri for the removal yet. So If I don't have $800, and I don't have $2000, then where am I gonna get $4000? Unless I record my version of "Like a Virgin" in John's studio and it rips to number one, but William Hung already cornered that market and stole my chance.