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I need help, feeling unsuccessful!

Hey guys, I want to share with you where I am right now. Frustrated. Feeling unsuccessful.

I started my journey in January of 2012. I lost 70 pounds (down to 288) Had gastric sleeve done May 18, 2012. Lost to 199 (total of 159 pounds). That's ONLY 89 pounds from the sleeve itself. Had skin removal (corset trunkplasty) surgery on May 25, 2013. He removed 12 pounds of skin. That (after swelling went down) put me at 187. I was able to drop to 180 in June. (Total of 178 from my highest)

Here's where I feel unsuccessful. I have bounced between 190 & 199 since January 2013. After skin removal May 2013, I have bounced between 180 & 190. The nutritionist says she has noticed that people who have been obese have a bigger Fluid fluctuation. I want to get to 160 (a normal BMI for my height). That's 20 plus my "bounce" of 9. I know the last of the weight is the hardest to lose. I have been bouncing since JANUARY. no real loss.

Y'all know that I workout. A lot. I have tried everything to get the scale to move. I eat less than 1200 most days, on my "bad" days, no more than 1500. My BMR

[ATTACH]18549[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH]18550[/ATTACH]

says I need 1659 to meet my daily needs, not including exercise calories. I should be losing. I feel frustrated. I went from a size 30 pants, 30/32 shirt to a size 8 pants, size md top. But I am not happy. Why? Cause I haven't met goal at 16 months out. Advice is appreciated. How do I get to goal before I hit 2 years out (8 months)? How do I feel successful?

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  • There seems to be a lot of that "must get to xxx___number on the scale" going around! I have to put myself back when I was earlier out and (even still to some degree today) to understand that mindset,

  • ONLY 89 Pounds?! Do you hear yourself? That is freaking fantastic, add that to what you lost before, and it is even better! You had a lot to lose, and two-three years is NOT too slow to lose it. I am

  • I will probably get flamed for saying this, but have you considered your caloric intake is too low for your caloric burn from exercise? It is not even clear to me what is the right amount of calori

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You look great. Congrats! I've lost 167 pounds in 12.5 months. 4 pounds of that was from a tummy tuck. I now weight 151. I only eat 800 calories a day. If I ate 1200 calories I would gain weight. I couldn't even physically make my self eat that much. I do notice a big difference on here with how much people eat. I just always assumed that I would never eat 1200 cal a day again or I would just start gaining weight or stop losing weight. I guess my advice would be to cut your calories down a little. You have done a great job and you look wonderful!

  • Author

The sad thing is that I have cut calories plenty of times, and I gained weight. The doctor and NUT have been pushing me to eat more since about 3 months out. It's odd how everyone's doctors are so different. They still want me to eat between 1500 & 1600 calories but I won't. I tried it & I gained.

For me, if I want to lose, calories have to be under 1,000. If I stick to around 800, mostly lean Protein, low fat dairy, non-starchy vegetables, whole grain and fruit in that order, I can lose consistently. I exercise 4-5 days per week. Generally at least one hour walk at a brisk pace.

At goal, I eat around 1200 to 1500 per day to maintain.

Lynda

For me... carbs is the key and more important than calories.

Having said that, you are still really successful! congrats!

The sad thing is that I have cut calories plenty of times, and I gained weight. The doctor and NUT have been pushing me to eat more since about 3 months out. It's odd how everyone's doctors are so different. They still want me to eat between 1500 & 1600 calories but I won't. I tried it & I gained.

How long did you give the 1500-1600 calories before you gave up? I believe it's normal to gain a little at first when adjusting your intake. You might gain a few, but as your metabolism adjusts, you should start dropping again. I would try it again and this time give it at least a month. Edited to add that I think you're fantastic and an inspiration!!! Great job on your loss. Also, I eat 1100-1200 most days, sometimes as much as 1300, and I am losing- not super fast, but losing. I am 9 months out and 5 lbs from goal.

  • Author

How long did you give the 1500-1600 calories before you gave up? I believe it's normal to gain a little at first when adjusting your intake. You might gain a few' date=' but as your metabolism adjusts, you should start dropping again. I would try it again and this time give it at least a month. Edited to add that I think you're fantastic and an inspiration!!! Great job on your loss. Also, I eat 1100-1200 most days, sometimes as much as 1300, and I am losing- not super fast, but losing. I am 9 months out and 5 lbs from goal.[/quote']

I did it for about 2 weeks & was up quite a bit. Scared me to death. I think my body is very sensitive to carbs as well.

Have u looked into the 5:2 diet? You eat normal for 5 days and then any 2 days of the week u eat 500 calories. There's a post in the veteran section with a really good explanation by Georgia.

BTW you are a success! You look really good. The rest will come off. It takes time. :P

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Feeling unsuccessful.

...That's ONLY 89 pounds from the sleeve itself.

How do I get to goal before I hit 2 years out (8 months)? How do I feel successful?

ONLY 89 Pounds?! Do you hear yourself? That is freaking fantastic, add that to what you lost before, and it is even better! You had a lot to lose, and two-three years is NOT too slow to lose it. I am at 2 1/2 years, have not gotten to goal, and do not consider myself a failier. I will get to goal, probably soon, I had less to lose than you. You can do it. Its just a lifetime of work, getting to goal is just a small part of it. You are only a failier if you completely throw your hands up and quit. Some swear by eating more, and lifting weights, some swear by eating less and exercising or not. The best investment you can make is in dumping the negative talk, give yourself some positive affirmations or something that works for you... and stay in the game, no mater how long it takes.Lat year I gained 22 pounds by not paying enough attention to what I was doing. Then, earlier this year I also tried the eat more route, and gained 6 pounds... freaked me right out... I then used the Southbeach phase one... lost the 6 pounds I had gained... then started on the 5:2... have lost 16 pounds in 13 weeks, which I am ecstatic about. I am back to where I was before I gained the 22. I am 5 pounds from goal, 34 months from surgery. I have learned a LOT. I did not lose fast, but I think I have enough info to maybe keep it off this time. That is the hard part. You have done great, and you need to feel good about it, love yourself girl. You have come a long way, and stand a good chance of getting to goal, if you don't give up, and adapt as you go along.

  • Author

I have been on the 5:2 diet for 3 weeks. First week I lost 5 pounds. Then that came back week 2. So week 3, I kinda fell off the wagon. I am determined to get back on & lose the rest of this weight!

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I will probably get flamed for saying this, but have you considered your caloric intake is too low for your caloric burn from exercise?

It is not even clear to me what is the right amount of calories to suggest. I have no idea. I stopped thinking about calories several months ago and eat when hungry, paleo style. Protein first, veggies and some good carbs / fat. Not much else. My meals are about every 2 hours where each meal is 200-300 calories. my Breakfast meal is usually the highest in calories (500-600) because i eat oatmeal mixed with a higher calorie Protein powder (400 calories from 2 scoops). There is a mix of calories from Protein shakes and from food for the aggregate of daily meals. Again, I stopped paying attention to exact numbers and just eat in a healthy way and often . It is working for me and it might work for you. It does not feel like a lot of work to eat this way and keeps both energy and insulin response stable. Also, sometimes I do not " feel" like eating (like 3 hours after a workout - my "dinner" time), but I do anyways in order to keep the metabolic response constant from rise to bed.

Also look at reducing the inflammation that comes from working out often. You can do this with fish oil (my dose is 5 g daily). Reducing inflammation in the body will reduce fat storage.

Also, are you lifting? There have been studies done that show inflammation genes can be suppressed and anti-inflammation genes can be increased in as little as 24 hours when a paleo style diet is combined with training. Isn't that an exciting fact?

I exercise about 1 hour a day, but intensely. Rarely do I do steady state cardio any longer (read: fat burning zone for an hour). Instead, I do metabolic conditioning combined with lifting. Almost every day is a different type of workout and always is challenging. Think about adding some shock treatment into your workouts to really increase the metabolic conditioning. Sorry if this suggestion is something you already do. I do not know how you exercise. Just try to stay away from steady state cardio; it triggers your body to store fat instead of lean you out, after a long time of doing it.

Just some ideas that might help you. My weight modulates between 175-180 (just Water cycling, I guess) which is just about right for my height and lean muscle percentage. See if some of these suggestions are worth pursuing.

  • Author
I will probably get flamed for saying this' date=' but have you considered your caloric intake is too low for your caloric burn from exercise?

It is not even clear to me what is the right amount of calories to suggest. I have no idea. I stopped thinking about calories several months ago and eat when hungry, paleo style. Protein first, veggies and some good carbs / fat. Not much else. My meals are about every 2 hours where each meal is 200-300 calories. my breakfast meal is usually the highest in calories (500-600) because i eat oatmeal mixed with a higher calorie protein powder (400 calories from 2 scoops). There is a mix of calories from protein shakes and from food for the aggregate of daily meals. Again, I stopped paying attention to exact numbers and just eat in a healthy way and often . It is working for me and it might work for you. It does not feel like a lot of work to eat this way and keeps both energy and insulin response stable. Also, sometimes I do not " feel" like eating (like 3 hours after a workout - my "dinner" time), but I do anyways in order to keep the metabolic response constant from rise to bed.

Also look at reducing the inflammation that comes from working out often. You can do this with fish oil (my dose is 5 g daily). Reducing inflammation in the body will reduce fat storage.

Also, are you lifting? There have been studies done that show inflammation genes can be suppressed and anti-inflammation genes can be increased in as little as 24 hours when a paleo style diet is combined with training. Isn't that an exciting fact?

I exercise about 1 hour a day, but intensely. Rarely do I do steady state cardio any longer (read: fat burning zone for an hour). Instead, I do metabolic conditioning combined with lifting. Almost every day is a different type of workout and always is challenging. Think about adding some shock treatment into your workouts to really increase the metabolic conditioning. Sorry if this suggestion is something you already do. I do not know how you exercise. Just try to stay away from steady state cardio; it triggers your body to store fat instead of lean you out, after a long time of doing it.

Just some ideas that might help you. My weight modulates between 175-180 (just Water cycling, I guess) which is just about right for my height and lean muscle percentage. See if some of these suggestions are worth pursuing.[/quote']

Fiddle, I appreciate your input & would love more! Can you explain this metabolic conditioning & give workout examples? I just started back to weight training. I burn anywhere between 600 & 800 (sometimes more) calories at the gym, and I go to the gym 5 days a week. Sometimes 4 if something comes up.

I am not currently taking fish oil, can you explain this inflammation & anti-inflammation diet combo to me? I know that there has to be something going on with my body that I just haven't figured out. My surgeons office is no help, they just tell me to up my protein or eat more. My protein is between 100-140 every day due to my workouts.

I have recently started the 5:2 diet & that seems to be helping but I fell off track last week & had a regain. It is just sad that we can gain weight on 1300-1600 calories when you are supposed to have to eat 3500 extra calories to gain a pound.

Also, what do you consider good carbs? I've been avoiding them as much as possible.

Kristie

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Hey Kristie....first of all, not many people have been more successful than you. You have inspired me many times, and humor has always lifted me. And you could not look better even if the scale was showing a lower number. You have transformed yourself.

I know you workout alot, and while I won't say you should raise calories or not, 2 weeks is not enough time to know if it is really what you need. As has been said, initially there will be a gain when attempting such an approach, especially for someone as far removed from the losing phase as you (and me too). But eventually your metabolism will (in theory) adjust properly and begin to function normally again. *Susan (the site moderator) has discussed this many times and how it worked for her. She was very open about the fact that it took a couple of months for the weight to start falling, but eventually it did.

I will say this, I would definitely change things up if you want to see a change. Less cardio, more weight lifting, reexamine your Protein and Water intake. No starches. But also, take a good honest look at your goals. Are they about personal health or fitting into a number on an arbitrary BMI chart? Good luck my friend. You know I'm with you.

  • Author
Hey Kristie....first of all' date=' not many people have been more successful than you. You have inspired me many times, and humor has always lifted me. And you could not look better even if the scale was showing a lower number. You have transformed yourself.

I know you workout alot, and while I won't say you should raise calories or not, 2 weeks is not enough time to know if it is really what you need. As has been said, initially there will be a gain when attempting such an approach, especially for someone as far removed from the losing phase as you (and me too). But eventually your metabolism will (in theory) adjust properly and begin to function normally again. *Susan (the site moderator) has discussed this many times and how it worked for her. She was very open about the fact that it took a couple of months for the weight to start falling, but eventually it did.

I will say this, I would definitely change things up if you want to see a change. Less cardio, more weight lifting, reexamine your Protein and Water intake. No starches. But also, take a good honest look at your goals. Are they about personal health or fitting into a number on an arbitrary BMI chart? Good luck my friend. You know I'm with you.[/quote']

Thank you Bean! I really like to laugh & have fun, but I am struggling with this drive that I have to reach said magical number. I spend so much time focused on it. I think this is bad for me mentally, however, it is also good that I continue to be vigilant. Could you imagine going to the doctor & finding out you had gained 20 pounds by not paying attention? I can imagine it & it terrifies me. I am so scared of regaining it all that I was afraid to continue.

I was so afraid to keep eating at a higher calorie, I gained about 10 pounds (which seems to be my normal "bounce") and stopped. As it was my normal bounce, maybe I should have continued. Who wants to only eat less than 1000 calories the rest of their lives? To not enjoy the occasional trip to Orange Leaf or piece of birthday cake?

I have cut back on the cardio & added in some serious strength training (not just machines). I know that other women, same height, are quite shocked that at 180+ pounds I am wearing 8's. I know that I am more compact because of my exercise.

Right now, it's the stupid BMI chart, but at the same time, I just don't like that during my monthly PMS bounce I get way too close to leaving onederland. I know. I am crazy.

I know a lot of people say my metabolism will reset but other than that brief magical (post plastics) month of May/June, my body has refused to shed anything since January. Freaking January. Maybe I need to consult a endocrinologist. My thyroid has always been a problem for me, although with medicine & multiple tests since I started this journey, my levels are "normal".

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My wife has been trying to lose weight for 2 years by going ultra low calorie and doing tons of cardio and very light weights. She didn't lose a thing. She recently switched her diet to the paleo diet and started doing New Rules Of Weightlifting For Women....and she's dropped 2 pant sizes in about 2 months. She feels great and is taking it out in me regularly. ;)

A combination of clean eating, sleep and Metabolic conditioning will really help you get fit and fly past goal. You want to turn your inner furnace on and that happens by eating enough calories to fuel intense workouts. You have to eat enough good carbs like oatmeal before these workouts or your body will shutdown too early before the metabolic conditioning workout is finished. By metabolic conditioning, think HIIT or Tabata and then multiply it by 10x in intensity. Met con is usually not that long (short as 8 min sometimes long as 30 min), but pushes your body to do extreme workouts where you are on the floor afterwards recovering. Doing different metabolic conditioning workouts day to day is where you are going to see results, fast. For an example, look up cross fit Fran WOD. The elite can finish Fran in sub 3 minutes. It takes me around 8 minutes. 3 rounds of 21-15-9 sets of thrusters and pull-ups. Today's Met-con was 3 rounds of 8 muscle ups, 15 power cleans, 20 front squats and 8 muscle ups. I chose not to do it as I have already don 4 days of met con and am physically exhausted. however, i worked on deadlifts @ my 90 % and skill by practicing the movements of power cleans, front squats and muscle ups outside the WOD. Felt a little guilty for skipping the WOD, but I did not waste the day. The question you want to ask yourself is do you want to just hit a bmi #, a pant size or some other aesthetical reason or do you want to be in the best fit shape of your life. Given what I know about you and working out, I think it is the latter.

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