Is it just me or does the divorce rate of post extreme weight loss people seem high? I find myself thinking about divorce as I go through this process because I am constantly on the grind to better myself for my family...psychically, mentally, educationally...this man is not. He's perfectly happy with his high school diploma and man tits...blah

No' date=' it was not directed at you. I was read the thread and saw a number of women bashing men, which is a trigger for me. There is bad behavior in both sexes, but it seems that some women take great pleasure in bashing the male species because of the misdeeds of their particular man.[/quote']

I so agree with you.

It wasn't for you and I was specific about what she wrote so I'm not sure why you assumed this was for you. Good night!!!!!

Have a wonderful evening, Alyjourney! If my tone was rather harsh, it was unintentional. I really was wishing everyone a great weekend. I'm having a blast at Houston's Reggae Festival!

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Now let's be fair about this. Speaking from a guy who no longer has anything resembling Man Tits. Not any more. And that is your point' date=' right, you are improving yourself, and do not see why he is not interested in doing the same. Here is what I felt after reading your post. Okay, you have made a decision to change your life - AWESOME and conrats to you. BUT you would not need that change if you (and I and many many more) had not let ourselves go and made many a bad decision. So you have decided that you want more out of life. Here is my question. How long did it take you to make that decision? Presumably a while. What about him? how much time does he get? If you start looking great - or at least a ton better, is that an encouragement for him? I would only say that none of us - peeking into you life with 5 lines of information - have the answer. But I think a spouse has a little duty to help make changes in us as well. I was a stud athlete, professional, world ranked - that is what my wife married. Then 10 years in I got fat, not big, fat. She stuck by me and put up with my beer drinking and over eating. Now I look good again and I am so glad she is here. But you know what, she is 30 pounds over weight - maybe more - but that is okay. I love her for her. She stuck by me when I was a pig. 30 pounds on her at 5 feet tall is a lot - but I will work with her to get her lower - she wants that and I want that - why? because we are still in love. 25 years of her putting up with my retarded self - and we still care. My guess would be that there is more than just the weight issue. It may be an indicator of the relationship - maybe the weight is not the issue, it is that desire you have for more, and he does not have that. Again, it is easy to be Dr. Phil with 10% of the info, but make sure that it is the weight that is a problem, and not the lack of drive and ambition. Here is why, anyone (with great effort) can lose weight - not everyone can have that desire to move up and be determined for success. So I will get off my "Mr. know-it -all" soap box and wish you the best of luck - love is easy - marriage is hard - make sure you are carefully assessing you issues. And best of luck on your weight loss journey.[/quote']

I loved this! Thanks for this perspective. I'm also feeling a little resentment toward my husband for not showing any initiative to change. I know I need to see a therapist to work these feelings out. I love him very much and don't want this to affect our relationship. We've had a lot to work on the 3 years we've been married. Just learning to live together (we didn't before we got married), communication, etc. Now add this to the mix and it's a bomb waiting to explode. But I know he's worth working through my feelings and your post was very encouraging. Thanks!

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Divorced 4 months post op but was already discussed before surgery

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