http://www.dailymail...tus-symbol.html

Plastic surgery, tummy tucks, liposuction, etc. are talked about freely as status symbols for celebrities and even normal folks.

Why should us bariatric surgery stars lurk around in shadows like we've done something wrong?

A great percentage of new posts on here are about whether to tell folks. A prevailing reason not to reveal is because people are either ignorant, rude or both and you dread their reactions. The problem is theirs, not yours. .

A great majority of sleevers here are thoughtful, intelligent people. I have experienced kindness here that I have not experienced in many a forum. We are not stupid, careless people.

The surgery speaks well of us: we are aggressively taking charge of our lives. We have the courage to do something radical, not because it might work but because it will work. Most of us understand that the VSG is just a tool and we know that a fundamental change in many aspects of our behavior is required. This is no diet fad, this is a decisive people doing what has to be done for the sake of our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Society in general benefits because our defeat of obesity transforms us into more productive contributors.

So what is to be ashamed of? Nothing!

Hold your head high, those belly scars are badges of honor. Everyone has problems. You are dealing with yours head on. It speaks well of your courage and passion for life.

I have been a minister for many years. I know that the way you present something has a great deal to do with how it is received. If you act ashamed the hearers will get the impression that you've done a shameful thing. If you talk about it like you just purchased a Maserati the majority of folks will get the impression that you are on to something great.

Your status is in your heart, in your head, and in your hands. Stand up,... be proud!

http://www.dailymail...tus-symbol.html

Plastic surgery' date=' tummy tucks, liposuction, etc. are talked about freely as status symbols for celebrities and even normal folks.

Why should us bariatric surgery stars lurk around in shadows like we've done something wrong?

A great percentage of new posts on here are about whether to tell folks. The only reasons not to is because people are either ignorant, rude or both and you dread their reactions. The problem is theirs, not yours. .

A great majority of sleevers here are thoughtful, intelligent people. I have experienced kindness here that I have not experienced in many a forum. We are not stupid, careless people.

The surgery speaks well of us: we are aggressively taking charge of our lives. We have the courage to do something radical, not because it might work but because it will work. Most of us understand that the VSG is just a tool and we know that a fundamental change in many aspects of our behavior is required. This is no diet fad, this is a decisive people doing what has to be done for the sake of our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Society in general benefits because our defeat of obesity transforms us into more productive contributors.

So what is to be ashamed of? Nothing!

Hold your head high, those belly scars are badges of honor. Everyone has problems. You are dealing with yours head on. It speaks well of your courage and passion for life.

I have been a minister for many years. I know that the way you present something has a great deal to do with how it is received. If you act ashamed the hearers will get the impression that you've done a shameful thing. If you talk about it like you just purchased a Maserati the majority of folks will get the impression that you are on to something great.

Your status is in your hands. Stand up, be proud![/quote']

You're awesome! I was just thinking about this, but I'm bad w/words.... Your post is exactly how I feel. I work side by side w/40 people & the public so I'm around a ton of people all the time who notice a "difference", I am proud of my V-Sleeve & if someone thinks I shouldn't be I educate them real fast! I feel like a walking commercial because people are always interested in what I've done! Lol

Very well said! From my experience when I speak with conviction on my decision, the doubters become quite. It's amazing how some think they know so much better what is good for us than ourselves. Telling everybody about my decision to have this op has been liberating for me, as I have always been a people pleaser. Facing up to the doubters has started to help me become more assertive. This is helping me to be more confident in facing personality types that I find intimidating/ bullish. Go us VSG we will have the last laugh!

I've been giving this so much thought over the last few months. And I've run scenarios in my head about how tell people and also, who to tell. I never thought about it from this perspective. I'm doing this for me and my health; there is absolutely nothing of which to be ashamed or embarrassed. Thank you for this post.

There is nothing to be ashamed of... Would a diabetic be ashamed of a low sugar diet? Would a heart attack survivor be ashamed of a low sodium diet and exercise?? NO!

I'm very happy with my decision to tell people. I am an open book. If it weren't for others being open about their surgery, I may have never made the choice to change my life.

http://www.dailymail...tus-symbol.html

Plastic surgery, tummy tucks, liposuction, etc. are talked about freely as status symbols for celebrities and even normal folks.

Why should us bariatric surgery stars lurk around in shadows like we've done something wrong?

A great percentage of new posts on here are about whether to tell folks. The only reasons not to is because people are either ignorant, rude or both and you dread their reactions. The problem is theirs, not yours. .

A great majority of sleevers here are thoughtful, intelligent people. I have experienced kindness here that I have not experienced in many a forum. We are not stupid, careless people.

The surgery speaks well of us: we are aggressively taking charge of our lives. We have the courage to do something radical, not because it might work but because it will work. Most of us understand that the VSG is just a tool and we know that a fundamental change in many aspects of our behavior is required. This is no diet fad, this is a decisive people doing what has to be done for the sake of our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Society in general benefits because our defeat of obesity transforms us into more productive contributors.

So what is to be ashamed of? Nothing!

Hold your head high, those belly scars are badges of honor. Everyone has problems. You are dealing with yours head on. It speaks well of your courage and passion for life.

I have been a minister for many years. I know that the way you present something has a great deal to do with how it is received. If you act ashamed the hearers will get the impression that you've done a shameful thing. If you talk about it like you just purchased a Maserati the majority of folks will get the impression that you are on to something great.

Your status is in your hands. Stand up, be proud!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. My decision to not tell everyone I've had VSG has nothing to do with shame or embarrassment. Honestly, I get resentful that people automatically assume the reason I choose not to share is based in embarrassment and shame. I AM proud of the work I've done to lose nearly 60 lbs. That doesn't mean I am willing to be some sort of poster child for WLS nor does it mean I want to explain to people I'm not particularly close to the ins and outs of what is going on.

There's a difference between it being a secret and it being private. I actively choose not to tell most people I had VSG just like I don't think they need to know I had emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy or a hernia repair and ovarian cyst. For me, its private information.

If that's not the case for you, great! More power to you. I am sure you are making the right decision for *you.

But a little appreciation that I'm making the right decision for *me would be nice. Not to mention not labeling your rationale for why I've made that choice with negative emotions without knowing how I feel or even attempting to understand my position.

~Kat

You are right...Personally, I have been a big believer in telling people. I made the decision that I refused to have shame about this. I believe the "secrets" that we keep take a significant toll on our mind, body and spirit and keep us stuck in behavior and thought patterns that suck the life out of us (and probably had something to do with why we ended up needing WLS in the first place.)

I also see a great deal of energy being expended on "weird looks" that we get when dining out...personally, I think many of us are projecting. Even before surgery, I didn't think twice about what the waiter or other dining companions thought on the occasions when I asked for my food to be prepared a certain way or I decided to share an entree instead of getting my own or if I wasn't hungry for whatever reason and so just had an appetizer...It is hard for me to believe that I am the only one who had those occasions before WLS, but for some reason, post-WLS, many people fret about these same scenarios.

To be clear, I'm not offended. But, the main reason I don't tell people is because my process and experience had been phenomenally easy. I literally want back to work two days post op. I don't want anyone riding into this surgery just based on my experience. People who are morbidly obese know that wls exists. I think it is better for them to follow their own path and do the through research rather than just hear about one persons complication free experience. I don't want that kind of responsibility.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. My decision to not tell everyone I've had VSG has nothing to do with shame or embarrassment. Honestly, I get resentful that people automatically assume the reason I choose not to share is based in embarrassment and shame. I AM proud of the work I've done to lose nearly 60 lbs. That doesn't mean I am willing to be some sort of poster child for WLS nor does it mean I want to explain to people I'm not particularly close to the ins and outs of what is going on.

There's a difference between it being a secret and it being private. I actively choose not to tell most people I had VSG just like I don't think they need to know I had emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy or a hernia repair and ovarian cyst. For me, its private information.

If that's not the case for you, great! More power to you. I am sure you are making the right decision for *you.

But a little appreciation that I'm making the right decision for *me would be nice. Not to mention not labeling your rationale for why I've made that choice with negative emotions without knowing how I feel or even attempting to understand my position.

~Kat

Good point.

Like most of my sweeping philosophical dissertations one size does not fit all, and I will mischaracterize some who have thought this through in careful detail and have arrived at a position at odds with my summation. My desire was to offer support to those who by personal experience or by the ham-handed bantering of acquaintances and relatives have relegated themselves to inferior emotional positions due to the surgery. I did not take into account those who have other reasons for their reticence to reveal.

My apologies.

gmanbat - Love your writing, I am choosing to tell most people after the fact, my surgery is Tuesday with a very reputable surgeon in Mexico. The reason I haven't told people before is, this was a tough enough decision in the first place. I got my family on board, but it does not mean that I am completely without fear. My husband has reminded me several times that I do not have to do this. I can change my mind anytime. Right now, I am going back and forth between fear of doing this, and fear of NOT doing this.

But once it's done I will tell everyone!!

KatinFl...I hear you, and understand where you are coming from...and, you are right that there is a difference between "secret" and "private".

However, one of the things I stumble on when presented with that viewpoint is that this medical procedure results in dramatic outward changes to our appearance, and so, to me, it is unreasonable to think that WLS can easily stay in the same category as other medical procedures.

Added to that, I have heard countless stories of people who experienced a private matter (miscarriage, infertility, addiction, divorce, bankruptcy, to name a few) who were amazed at the sense of relief that came from sharing their story and the "weight that was lifted from their shoulders" of not feeling the need to keep that part of their story private. Not trying to say that you feel shame where you don't, but just that there can be catharsis in unexpected places.

KatinFl...I hear you, and understand where you are coming from...and, you are right that there is a difference between "secret" and "private".

However, one of the things I stumble on when presented with that viewpoint is that this medical procedure results in dramatic outward changes to our appearance, and so, to me, it is unreasonable to think that WLS can easily stay in the same category as other medical procedures.

Added to that, I have heard countless stories of people who experienced a private matter (miscarriage, infertility, addiction, divorce, bankruptcy, to name a few) who were amazed at the sense of relief that came from sharing their story and the "weight that was lifted from their shoulders" of not feeling the need to keep that part of their story private. Not trying to say that you feel shame where you don't, but just that there can be catharsis in unexpected places.

I appreciate your thoughts.

However, I'm not looking for "catharsis" in sharing my experience with people in general. I want to be on this journey and work it in a way that works for *me.

I don't presume to tell other people what works best for them and my point is that I would appreciate the same courtesy.

~Kat

gmanbat - Love your writing, I am choosing to tell most people after the fact, my surgery is Tuesday with a very reputable surgeon in Mexico. The reason I haven't told people before is, this was a tough enough decision in the first place. I got my family on board, but it does not mean that I am completely without fear. My husband has reminded me several times that I do not have to do this. I can change my mind anytime. Right now, I am going back and forth between fear of doing this, and fear of NOT doing this.

But once it's done I will tell everyone!!

Well thought out. Good for you.Your eyes are wide open. A very good indicator of your ultimate success. Due concern means you have no illusions. You know what must be done and what is at stake. That is a mind that can sustain the campaign.

Somehow my mind went to elaborate weddings that were called off at the last second. A little more pre-knowledge would have remedied the situation.

Quite a problem for local storekeepers who now have an overstock of returned toasters.

So what is to be ashamed of? Nothing!

I regret that I can only "like" your post once - very well said!

It is universally considered PRIVATE if you are unable to develop and grow large breasts on your own, so you have breast augmentation surgery.

It is universally considered PRIVATE if you decide you are tired of your bald spot and have hair replacement procedures.

For some reason, however, people feel like they MUST tell people about their weight loss surgery.

I see no reason to tell anyone. Once you tell, you give them permission to judge you -- and judge they will. Then, no matter how many times they may promise you that your surgery will remain private, they'll blab it to someone, who blabs to someone else. Before you know, people will begin to qualify you as, "she's the one who had weight loss surgery."

Even people on this forum look at other people's beginning weight to see if they were justified in having WLS.

OMG I waited almost two years for my surgery and in that time, I think I told every person I talked to. Lol. People are going to see a drastic weight loss so why not be upfront about it!