Ok just a vent. I'm really bothered by endless posts of people going against doctor's orders and/or cheating the stages. Then they look for "support" in their decision. When you try to offer actual support and discourage the bad behavior/choice all of a sudden you become the "negative" one. VSG is a tool but not the miracle cure. We need to work with our tool to make it work for us. Ignoring surgeons and nutritionists orders will only lead to some sort of failure along the road. If we knew what was best we wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with. Why undergo such a major surgery if you're not willing to undergo the life changes associated with it?

For the record I'm not bothered merely by someone else's viewpoint. I'm not completely obtuse to new ideas. What bothers me is people who boldly and flagrantly go against sound advice (which is their choice) and encourage others to follow suit. And even go as far as name calling, insults or pot shots at those

Who follow the rules. Calling us over the top or negative or silly. Then make smart Alec remarks about how they're going to do what they want. If that's the case why bother having the surgery? Or joining a "support" forum. That's not supportive at all.

We are all of us fat, super fat I might add. How did we get here? Because we became powerless over food and our addiction to it. I will say I followed my doctors orders.

But I am not surprised when I see someone come here looking for an "enabler". As an alcoholic will look for another drink or a drug addict will look for another fix even if it can mean the chance of death. A food addict will look for a way to get a meal.

Some do better than others. But I know all of us go into it wanting to do better. I will not judge I will listen, understand and try to guide.

If the person truly does not want what I have to offer, then at least I tried. I will then move on to the next person that does.

I know it can get frustrating, there are times when I just want to tell someone "ok you know best, go ahead and eat that pizza at one week out"

But really I have my own recovery to deal with and I can't help save someone who's not ready to save themselves.

I drank from a straw since I woke up from surgery. What is the deal with straws?!!

We're all so different and what works for me may not work for someone else. I think the negativity stems from people acting like they are better or absolutely right whether they follow rules or not. We're all adults and, I hope, able to make decisions for ourselves. I agree the name calling over a simple disagreement is ridiculous.

I drank from a straw since I woke up from surgery. What is the deal with straws?!!

I already got shamed for defending straws in a previous post, so I won't go there. Haha!

But that is a good example. People go as far as saying you weren't ready for surgery or are stupid for not following you surgeon's advice if you drink from a straw. Well what if your surgeon never told you not to? People assume all rules are the same.

I drank from a straw since I woke up from surgery. What is the deal with straws?!!

Oh and straws? I don't know? if it works for you and the doctor said ok, then that is your path, your preference. No big deal.

I think the op was referring to a thread where people were literally fighting about straws!

Hehehe, what a mess

I saw messed up comments from both sides.

But in the grand scheme of things?

Its really ridiculous. I'm not saying I know all nor encouraging everyone to follow my surgeon's/nutritionist's instructions for ME. I'm saying follow their surgeon's/nutritionist's instructions for THEM. And don't be hateful to people when their merely trying to remind you of the instructions set for YOU and help you achieve YOUR goals. Again I'm not perfect that's why I seek the guidance of professionals and not other food addicts.

Straws are sometimes advised against as they suck up additional air.

Everyone's post op instructions are different from each other's (well.. unless they went to the same doctor I guess :b ). Using the straw as an example there's a difference between posts that say "I drank using a straw, my doctor never said anything about it" compared to "I drank from a straw despite what my doctor said". If you flaunt that you went against your doctor's orders then you're probably going to find some people jumping on your case. Which in some cases is the desired effect of those posts in the first place /shrug..

Telling someone not to use a straw is just moronic. It's a straw not a brownie...get off the soap box. If my Dr told me not to use a straw I still would if I didn't have problems. If the Dr said this quite frankly I'd get a different Dr. It's like when I went to the Dr (yes a physician) for HCG and they said not to use lotion because you absorb fats...most ridiculous crap ever, we aren't frogs.

I rest my case! Lmbo.

Also, one more rant. As a collective whole we have more information than any one Dr so I use that information every day to sift through what I'm told and what others are told. It's incredibly useful information. Yes, there are some that I think do harmful things to themselves here. However, I try to respond in a positive manner. For example: "I'm on day 9 and I ate a whole sausage"...me: be careful, you're still healing! Let your Dr know.

For the record I'm not bothered merely by someone else's viewpoint. I'm not completely obtuse to new ideas. What bothers me is people who boldly and flagrantly go against sound advice (which is their choice) and encourage others to follow suit. And even go as far as name calling, insults or pot shots at those

Who follow the rules. Calling us over the top or negative or silly. Then make smart Alec remarks about how they're going to do what they want. If that's the case why bother having the surgery? Or joining a "support" forum. That's not supportive at all.

I don't think it's a smart alec response to say that I'll do what I want to do (which IS something I've said, and recently, so I'll assume this comment is about me specifically). I've also never encouraged anyone to do something harmful to themselves. I've never name-called or taken pot shots at anyone, so maybe this isn't directed totally at me, but I think I've been lumped into quite a bit of what you're protesting against as far as comments and/or advice.

You say in the original post you're "really bothered" about going against doctors orders, then respond again saying you're not that bothered by the opposing viewpoint. Which is it? I never presumed you were obtuse or unable to learn new ideas, so I really don't know where the defensiveness is coming from. :\

I understand the spirit of this post, it is coming from a place of concern. I am less than a week out and already trying to see how I can add tortilla crumbs to my pureed corn chowder when I can have it on Wends! As addicts we are all looking for a way to get in what we need to satisfy what we crave. If people are looking for a easy way out they will take a part any post that is written and pull from it what works for them.

We have to remember that when people dont accept the truth from you and react negatively it is more about their place in recovery and very little to do with what you said. Leave the advice in the spirit it was intended and hope that others who read your response will have more informed decisions.

Everyone that has come this far....to have the surgery, is unique and their recovery and rate of weightloss is an individual thing. Rates of success will vary for each of us. Some will lose a lot, some a little. But I will say that no matter how gifted a surgeon is, his hand will not cure an eating disorder. Certainly his instructions are best if followed, but does everyone also floss everyday? We are creatures of free will and some of us will stray and learn the harder way.

I am two months out and found myself eating Doritos in my car and spitting them out. Why in the world would I do that? The answer is, I have an eating disorder. I'm a work in progress. I will fall. I just want to be able to pick myself up again and try. It has nothing to do with being smarter or more motivated....or being better at accepting personal responsibility. And if I can't get a handle on it, I need to head to a professional to help me sort it all out. For those of you who don't stumble, a hearty congrats. For those of you, like me, who do.... let's keep putting one foot in front of the other and try again.