Ok, this is more of a vent because I'm sure some people on here can relate or sympathize since my husband doesn't really understand. My husband noticed that I've been a bit depressed lately so he said he would watch the kids and gave me his credit card to go clothes shopping since I've been living in the same 4 outfits for almost a year. Any other woman would be ecstatic, but I on the other hand, HATE shopping for myself. I stood in the dressing room with my size 24 capris and 3x tops wondering how the hell I ever let myself get this heavy (tipping the scales at 290 and im only 5'3"!) I cried the whole way home and gave the hubs a horrible attitude as I walked in the door. Now I'm sulking in the living room while he eats dinner with the kids. He says my weight doesn't bother him, but how can it not? He's so handsome, has a great body and could probably land himself something a hell of a lot better looking then me. I know I know, he's a great guy and loves me for me. But what he doesn't like is that I've simply stopped caring. I'm a stay at home mom. A FAT stay at home mom. I rarely get out of my pjs never mind do my hair or makeup. I need this surgery so badly. 3 more months! I just have to make it through 3 more months.

I have an apple body, so it's all in my stomach/arms/face. How do you ladies (or gentlemen) make yourselves feel better? What can I do to help to "care" about myself until I get my surgery and lose this weight? Any specific clothing types that flatter plus size women? I bought some jewelry and makeup and I'm going to try to put the effort in for my husband. And to think when we met, I was the hot college cheerleader!!

Ugh, thanks for listening to my extremely depressing rant!

I look forward to the day when I can go shopping for clothes and not feel the "pain" of it. It can't get here soon enough.

To the OP and so many others who've posted here with husbands and wives who love you just as you are:

You are all truly blessed! I have always believed that this kind of relationship is what love is all about. You love the person inside, not the shell that holds them. It may be a little off topic, but it made me want to share this story.

I've been overweight pretty much my entire life. I was overweight when I met the father of my children, as was he. I outweighed him even when we met, but he was also obese. We dated for 5 years. We dieted (Weight Watchers) together for 6 months before our wedding and lost about 60 lbs apiece - him close to goal, me still about 100 lbs overweight. It didn't take long before we were both back up to our highest weights, and two children later, I was 200 lbs overweight.

I should have known things weren't right when he said this - I don't remember when - "If you ever get over 350, it will be over."

After 17 years of marriage, I returned from a visit to my parents with our two children (he didn't come because he had to do side work), and he told me the next day (the day after our anniversary) that he wanted a divorce. He said there was no reason other than he didn't love me any more. (I discovered later the real reason that he finally had taken the step - she lived next door.)

After that, I gained even more weight, finally reaching 450 lbs. I'm sure that depression over the divorce was a contributing factor. It took over a year after the divorce before I felt ready to date again. I had a few dates from online dating sites, but no matter how much in common we seemed to have in chatting online, or how much fun we seemed to have together on our date, once they met me face to face, I wouldn't hear from them again - it seems my weight was too much for them, even though I identified myself with the website descriptor reserved for "fat" women - "big and beautiful", and had an up-to-date picture of myself posted. Of course, my picture was only from the shoulders up...

I finally did meet a wonderful man (also online) for whom my weight was not an issue. We talked on the phone for about a month and a half before we met, and had honest conversations about my size. (He told me after I 'confessed' that he could tell that I was a big woman even from the shoulders-up picture.) Although he is close to "normal" weight, he once weighed over 400 lbs. (He lost the bulk of his weight very quickly due to a parasite and a medical condition.) We met when I weighed my heaviest, and it was magical from the first date. I started looking into WLS about 6 months after we met - not because he wanted me to do it. In fact, he was very worried about me having surgery to lose weight, and constantly reassured me that it didn't matter to him, that I was beautiful just as I am - however, he would support me in whatever decision I made.

We have been married just over a month now, and I'm even happier knowing that I will be healthier and live a longer life with a man who loves me for what's inside. We're both looking forward to me being a size at which I will be comfortable enough in a plane to travel to Europe, where I have never visited, though he has many times, and my knees will be healthy enough for me to walk and have him show me everything!

Hold onto those who love you, and trust them with your whole heart! Their support will be invaluable to you on your journey!

Thanks for your story. Im so glad for you. Congrats.

Yes Chris R,

Thank you for sharing your experience. It means a lot to be able to hear others stories.

Laura

Chris, thanks so much for sharing. I do know how lucky I am and appreciate it every day. Sounds like you found the right one. All my best wishes to you.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

Ok' date=' this is more of a vent because I'm sure some people on here can relate or sympathize since my husband doesn't really understand. My husband noticed that I've been a bit depressed lately so he said he would watch the kids and gave me his credit card to go clothes shopping since I've been living in the same 4 outfits for almost a year. Any other woman would be ecstatic, but I on the other hand, HATE shopping for myself. I stood in the dressing room with my size 24 capris and 3x tops wondering how the hell I ever let myself get this heavy (tipping the scales at 290 and im only 5'3"!) I cried the whole way home and gave the hubs a horrible attitude as I walked in the door. Now I'm sulking in the living room while he eats dinner with the kids. He says my weight doesn't bother him, but how can it not? He's so handsome, has a great body and could probably land himself something a hell of a lot better looking then me. I know I know, he's a great guy and loves me for me. But what he doesn't like is that I've simply stopped caring. I'm a stay at home mom. A FAT stay at home mom. I rarely get out of my pjs never mind do my hair or makeup. I need this surgery so badly. 3 more months! I just have to make it through 3 more months. I have an apple body, so it's all in my stomach/arms/face. How do you ladies (or gentlemen) make yourselves feel better? What can I do to help to "care" about myself until I get my surgery and lose this weight? Any specific clothing types that flatter plus size women? I bought some jewelry and makeup and I'm going to try to put the effort in for my husband. And to think when we met, I was the hot college cheerleader!! Ugh, thanks for listening to my extremely depressing rant![/quote']

I was looking for a husbands and wives thread and came upon this old one which was very touching and relevant for more than the OP.

JessicaAnn, I know you're sleeved now and have lost a lot of weight, and seem much happier yes?

I bring it up because we often chart weight and physical NSVs like pant sizes, fitting into seats etc but I wonder if we shouldn't also chart our emotional victories. I will have to start thinking about these. Good way to start my week with that attitude of gratitude.

I love this forum

Much happier . I'm 2.5 months post op and just recently (VERY recently) I'm beginning to love myself. Im beginning to respect myself. And I've found that there is a lot less tension in my house because I'm happier. That's probably my biggest victory to date .

Wow- this sounds so much like me!

First off, your hubby sounds like an amazing, caring guy! Second, I, too, hate clothes shopping.

In terms of how I take care of myself, I've tried to start living my post-sleeve life as much as possible. By that I mean, I go to the gym, watch what I eat, try to be healthier. But mainly, I tell myself that I may have let myself get to this point (that is, this weight), but I'm also on a track to change that.

Thank you gamegirl, for reviving this thread. I've enjoyed reading all the posts.