Ok, this is more of a vent because I'm sure some people on here can relate or sympathize since my husband doesn't really understand. My husband noticed that I've been a bit depressed lately so he said he would watch the kids and gave me his credit card to go clothes shopping since I've been living in the same 4 outfits for almost a year. Any other woman would be ecstatic, but I on the other hand, HATE shopping for myself. I stood in the dressing room with my size 24 capris and 3x tops wondering how the hell I ever let myself get this heavy (tipping the scales at 290 and im only 5'3"!) I cried the whole way home and gave the hubs a horrible attitude as I walked in the door. Now I'm sulking in the living room while he eats dinner with the kids. He says my weight doesn't bother him, but how can it not? He's so handsome, has a great body and could probably land himself something a hell of a lot better looking then me. I know I know, he's a great guy and loves me for me. But what he doesn't like is that I've simply stopped caring. I'm a stay at home mom. A FAT stay at home mom. I rarely get out of my pjs never mind do my hair or makeup. I need this surgery so badly. 3 more months! I just have to make it through 3 more months.

I have an apple body, so it's all in my stomach/arms/face. How do you ladies (or gentlemen) make yourselves feel better? What can I do to help to "care" about myself until I get my surgery and lose this weight? Any specific clothing types that flatter plus size women? I bought some jewelry and makeup and I'm going to try to put the effort in for my husband. And to think when we met, I was the hot college cheerleader!!

Ugh, thanks for listening to my extremely depressing rant!

This is exactly how I feel too. I want to crawl in a hole until my surgery in 3 months.

I am so in on ALL of this....... only two days ago I was int the car whimpering again to my GORGEOUS husband of 17 years that it is just SO HARD, he told me once again for the 56583930202 time, that I am the one with the problem with my body, NOT HIM..... like all of you beautiful women above.... he told me in no uncertain terms that "I am ALL he needs, ALL he wants and that HE MUST have me, no matter what form I come in, he LOVES ME.

I have had all of the feelings above, over the years I have often tried on outfit after outfit as we were preparing to go out, only to land in tears BECAUSE.... I just knew everyone in the room was staring and that really huge fat chick with the gorgeous man and feeling sorry for him & wondering why he stays or how he even got there in the first place since I was obese when we married.

Our insurance does not and will not cover WLS (after 4 carriers over 6 years no go)

In January I had the ULTIMATE MELTDOWN and took to the bed with angry rampages at times.... went on like this for a couple of weeks, I was barely functioning, my family was at a loss.

Then one day when I was jealously (also happily.. yes I could be both) looking at others weight loss before and after photos via google..... when I came to on and the woman wrote her story about going to Mexico self pay and how affordable and SAFE it can be... I HAD NO CLUE, I MEAN NO CLUE that this could be done, where had I been , why did I not know this...... I ran to the garage where my husband was and asked him if I could have the money (a huge deal since he lost his job and his retirement 2 years ago... and took an entry level job followed by my job loss and I am still looking....) so we are broke and pulling from minimal savings.... HE SAID YES (with conditions.... he was scared and still is very nervous)

I contacted several doctors in MExico, decided upon one...

proceeded to PCP.... who AGREED with the plan (Hubby's condition #1 met)

on to BRAND NEW cardiologist who AGREED, set up my tests to make sure I would be able

(Hubby's condition #2 met)

Nuclear Stress test passed (#3 met)

electrocardiogram clear (34 met)

To go above and beyond my cardiologist went over WHAT the surgeon in Mexico should be like... and then WENT above and beyond and had his PA make some contact..... CARDIOLOGIST came back with a DEFINITE YES on my choice...... (husband happy and grateful for the help )

I am on my pre op diet now, and have surgery on May 6th, my 20 year old son is going with me to Mexico (so that my husband can take me on a real vacation in June)

Husband told me yesterday he is still very concerned about me going, and even wishes I would not go, but he knows I want to be HEALTHY, but he told me that if I change my mind it is okay with him (NOT A CHANCE)...

We are born again followers of Jesus Christ and I am so grateful for everything that has happened, God knew what I needed even when I did not (a husband to love me no matter what)... time off to do this (positive spin on job loss), money to do this (may wipe us clean but so worth investing in our future) and foremost... I see now tht going to Mexico has been all over the internet for years, God truly blinded this information to me until my heart and mind were truly ready for this journey, as well as my husbands mind.

Ladies we should all be so thankful for our loving husbands... I wish I could meet each and everyone of you and your husbands.... nothing like a good marriage!

Sorry so long, but this thread really got to me.

This is exactly how I feel too. I want to crawl in a hole until my surgery in 3 months.

Melissa,

First off, three months will fly by.

Second off now is the time to take some nice slow deep breaths.... Now is the time to start loving yourself and feeling relief that you have made a major step towards health and happiness. Use this time to start getting ready,

By making changes in diet and exercise. There is no reason to give up now! Smile and be happy because you have made the choice to love and care for yourself.

I am so in on ALL of this....... only two days ago I was int the car whimpering again to my GORGEOUS husband of 17 years that it is just SO HARD' date=' he told me once again for the 56583930202 time, that I am the one with the problem with my body, NOT HIM..... like all of you beautiful women above.... he told me in no uncertain terms that "I am ALL he needs, ALL he wants and that HE MUST have me, no matter what form I come in, he LOVES ME.

I have had all of the feelings above, over the years I have often tried on outfit after outfit as we were preparing to go out, only to land in tears BECAUSE.... I just knew everyone in the room was staring and that really huge fat chick with the gorgeous man and feeling sorry for him & wondering why he stays or how he even got there in the first place since I was obese when we married.

Our insurance does not and will not cover WLS (after 4 carriers over 6 years no go)

In January I had the ULTIMATE MELTDOWN and took to the bed with angry rampages at times.... went on like this for a couple of weeks, I was barely functioning, my family was at a loss.

Then one day when I was jealously (also happily.. yes I could be both) looking at others weight loss before and after photos via google..... when I came to on and the woman wrote her story about going to Mexico self pay and how affordable and SAFE it can be... I HAD NO CLUE, I MEAN NO CLUE that this could be done, where had I been , why did I not know this...... I ran to the garage where my husband was and asked him if I could have the money (a huge deal since he lost his job and his retirement 2 years ago... and took an entry level job followed by my job loss and I am still looking....) so we are broke and pulling from minimal savings.... HE SAID YES (with conditions.... he was scared and still is very nervous)

I contacted several doctors in MExico, decided upon one...

proceeded to PCP.... who AGREED with the plan (Hubby's condition #1 met)

on to BRAND NEW cardiologist who AGREED, set up my tests to make sure I would be able

(Hubby's condition #2 met)

Nuclear Stress test passed (#3 met)

electrocardiogram clear (34 met)

To go above and beyond my cardiologist went over WHAT the surgeon in Mexico should be like... and then WENT above and beyond and had his PA make some contact..... CARDIOLOGIST came back with a DEFINITE YES on my choice...... (husband happy and grateful for the help )

I am on my pre op diet now, and have surgery on May 6th, my 20 year old son is going with me to Mexico (so that my husband can take me on a real vacation in June)

Husband told me yesterday he is still very concerned about me going, and even wishes I would not go, but he knows I want to be HEALTHY, but he told me that if I change my mind it is okay with him (NOT A CHANCE)...

We are born again followers of Jesus Christ and I am so grateful for everything that has happened, God knew what I needed even when I did not (a husband to love me no matter what)... time off to do this (positive spin on job loss), money to do this (may wipe us clean but so worth investing in our future) and foremost... I see now tht going to Mexico has been all over the internet for years, God truly blinded this information to me until my heart and mind were truly ready for this journey, as well as my husbands mind.

Ladies we should all be so thankful for our loving husbands... I wish I could meet each and everyone of you and your husbands.... nothing like a good marriage!

Sorry so long, but this thread really got to me.[/quote']

This is so TRUE!! I am very grateful for my wonderful husband and marriage sometimes I feel guilty for being so vain but I can't help it. Thank you for your post. It makes me feel normal that there are others going through the same thing!

I am thankful for my husband....

But I need to say he is also thankful for ME.

In other words I am "lucky" to have such a good man but... he is "lucky" to have me also. No matter what my weight is

I am thankful for my husband....

But I need to say he is also thankful for ME.

In other words I am "lucky" to have such a good man but... he is "lucky" to have me also. No matter what my weight is

This is what I need to remind myself. I'm a damn good wife! My husband and I started with about $5 in our pockets and have leaned on each other to get in the comfortable position we are in now! When no one believed in him (even his own family) I was there cheering him on. I have to remember not to be so vein. I know I'm a catch, I have to stop looking at just my physical appearance.

This is what I need to remind myself. I'm a damn good wife! My husband and I started with about 5 in our pockets and have leaned on each other to get in the comfortable position we are in now! When no one believed in him (even his own family) I was there cheering him on. I have to remember not to be so vein. I know I'm a catch' date=' I have to stop looking at just my physical appearance.[/quote']

There you go girlie!

They love us for a reason! We are good people,

Good wives and good mothers

( although my 16 year old daughter may disagree )

My husband wouldn't trade me in for the world

There you go girlie!

They love us for a reason! We are good people' date='

Good wives and good mothers

( although my 16 year old daughter may disagree )

My husband wouldn't trade me in for the world [/quote']

You look so young in your profile pic! I can't believe you have a 16 year old daughter!

You look so young in your profile pic! I can't believe you have a 16 year old daughter!

She's going to be 17 in a couple of weeks!

And I had her at age 30 (you do the math)

How did things go last night?

She's going to be 17 in a couple of weeks!

And I had her at age 30 (you do the math)

How did things go last night?

You look so young! Lol

But things went well, we had a heart to heart about why I was a raging b***h and how I feel about myself and him, but I didn't have the courage to tell him my weight.

You look so young! Lol

But things went well' date=' we had a heart to heart about why I was a raging b***h and how I feel about myself and him, but I didn't have the courage to tell him my weight.[/quote']

It's all that clean living and healthy eating:p

(Genes)

I'm glad you did that.. As I was writing you last night my husband was sitting next to me and at one point I told him about your original post, he was like, "that's you! That's us!"

We then talked about when I let him into my "secret" about my weight. Hehehe like he couldn't see it with his own eyes!

But anyway, he said last night that he was so thankful that I did that and now he feels like he can truly be there and support me with no walls between us.

Tell your husband that you want to be honest about it but it is scary so at least you can get that out there.

Melissa,

First off, three months will fly by.

Second off now is the time to take some nice slow deep breaths.... Now is the time to start loving yourself and feeling relief that you have made a major step towards health and happiness. Use this time to start getting ready,

By making changes in diet and exercise. There is no reason to give up now! Smile and be happy because you have made the choice to love and care for yourself.

Thank you for the advice Laura!

Jessica Ann,

Same here, girlie! I just read your post to my husband & he asked If I wrote it?!

Thank you for the advice Laura!

Melissa,

We are all in this together

I am still learning everyday to try to love and accept myself.