I'm set to have surgery in less than two weeks -- April 22nd. I find that I'm not at all worried about the actual surgery, but very anxious about changing my relationship to food. What if I miss it terribly? Will I be able to enjoy dining out with my husband? What will I do to Celebrate accomplishments and joys, or drown depression and sorrows, if I can't eat?

Please tell me about your experiences. I need your wise words.

Thank you. This is my first post, btw. I've been lurking for ages and have found this forum to be extremely helpful.

My surgery is April 17 and I have the same thoughts.

Please help and let me know this journey is the right path.

Scared about some of the posts I read.

I'm still in the beginning stages of healing my stomach, so I can't discuss how it feels to eat again I suppose. However.. things that we were told to keep in mind prior to surgery. There isn't anything that you can't have again. You might not feel the same about it, and you may find new things that you enjoy more. Enjoy foods at celebrations, but there is more to the celebration than the food. You will need to find other ways to cope with stress & sorrows. You know that these times will come, prepare yourself with ideas of alternatives. Some of us have reached this point in our lives because we used food to cope. It has not helped us. It has hurt us.

Your relationship with food will change.. Isn't that why we are all here? Yes, at times it is hard, but for me, seeing my chance of diabetes go away is better. Having my wife tell me I haven't been snoring in the past 2 weeks puts a smile on my face. Seeing the scale read less and less each week solidifies to me that I made the right choice.

I always had a bad relationship with food. Unlike other things that are bad for us, food is one we can't "quit" but we can utilize tools to help guide us towards making better choices.

I'm not on the boat of "you can never have this or that again" I believe that you should have treats once in a while.. But having 4 oz of something is much better for you then having 1-2 pounds.

Having a happy meal down the road is much better then having 1 large fry, large coke, 2 burgers and maybe a nugget..

You can still enjoy food, you will just be enjoying very small portions of it. I had the same thoughts as you.. My wife said a few times that she was worried that she didn't want me to do something I would regret when I am unable to eat big meals and have a good time...

I'm 3 weeks out and down 41 pounds since I started pre-op diet (lost 14 on pre-op) and am sooooo happy I made this choice for myself. It is all up to you, but I think if you don't do it in a year you will be kicking yourself.

It will change. For the surgery to be successful, it has to change. For your new tool to work, your whole mindset has to change. I felt the same way you did at first, now ten months later I WISH I could go back to my small portions!! Now I am able to eat more, I tolerate pretty much everything I eat, and the weight loss has slowed down. My advice to you, take full advantage of the first six months post surgery. Embrace them. Teach yourself to be satisfied with a small amount of food, teach yourself to sop before feeling stuffed, teach yourself to eat well and make wise choices. By month eight, the restriction from your stomach will be less. So be sure you have created a good pattern by then.

At first going out did feel like a waste of time. I didn't see a point in going to dinners and events that involved food. But you know what, I enjoyed food enough. I enjoyed eating too much. Life got easier once I stopped regretting the things that was keeping me at almost 350 lbs. Trust me when I say, once the weight starts coming off, the last thing you will be thinking about is food

For me, the feelings of regret were in the first month post op. I kept thinking "what have I done to myself". It was ALL head hunger or what I lovingly called my "fat brain"! It was only my fat brain that wanted pizza and all of those other delicious carbs that got me in trouble in the first place. I even told my surgeon, about 2-3 weeks post op, "I don't think I can do this low carb thing for the rest of my life." I was just being honest with him. And he told me "you don't have to." He told me that if I did nothing except reduce the amount I ate, which would happen whether I wanted to or not because of the surgery, I would still lose weight. However, if I followed a low carb plan until I got to my goal, I would lose it faster. And my FAVORITE thing he said to me...once I got to my goal, I could slowly increase those carbs until I hit my magic number. Meaning, instead of my limit of 30 net carbs now, when I reach my goal I could steadily increase it until I noticed the weight loss stopping or that I gained weight. Playing with those numbers would get me to my maintenance carb number. His happens to be 60 carbs a day. If he stays between 50-60 carbs a day, he doesn't gain.

I personally found that comforting. I know that in general I have to change my habits, but it isn't a life sentence. You will fin things you like and it is really not hard to enjoy eating out with friends and family, I do it all the time. I just chose better options. Like a couple of weeks ago we went to a steak house and I shared a meal with my husband. It had steak, shrimp, a baked potato, and we added asparagus. I ate the shrimp (which I love and he hates) and the asparagus. He ate the potato and the steak...except for the bite or two I stole! I love steak!

Just be creative. I use the my fitness pal app and it REALLY helps me find things to eat no matter where I am. And it helps me stay accountable for what I eat. My dietician set it up for me. My only restrictions are no more than 30 net carbs and no less than 90 grams of Protein.

All in all, yes, you're relationship with food will change, but only for the better. Oh, and that pizza craving...it didn't go away, but I figured out a way to have some...I use a fajita sized low carb tortilla (carb balance) a tablespoon of pizza sauce, as much mozzarella as I want ( I like a lot!) and about four or five slices of pepperoni. It's great!! My husband and kids eat them too! It kicks my craving and it tastes good. You just have to get creative.

And once you get through that first month, those craving change. Your body no longer craves those carbs that it was addicted to and many of your tastes change. At least that's the case for me. And if you want a little something "naughty" every now and again, you can have it, but a bite or two will do. Don't deprive yourself.

Feel free to message me if you would like. I would love to help if I can!

Btw, my Surg date was 12/28/13 I weighed 250 and I am down 56 lbs to 194. I can tell you I have NEVER been able to say that before!!

I'm not on the boat of "you can never have this or that again" I believe that you should have treats once in a while..

You can still enjoy food, you will just be enjoying very small portions of it.

Ditto.

The change in my relationship to food is almost all about quantity, not quality. I'm a little less than two years out and the only thing I don't consume now that I used to drown myself in is Diet Coke (I drank it 'just for the taste of it'). I have taken a few sips of my wife's Diet Coke over the months but I was told to abstain from carbonated beverages and I do my best to comply with my doctor's wishes.

My wife and I still go out for dinner together, all the time. We use the two-for-one coupons from the Entertainment book for buffets and, if we're ordering Entrees ala carte, we'll share a bowl of Soup or an appetizer and then one entree together. No one questions us or forces us to order more. Almost always, the restaurant manager or waitress will approach me and ask if anything is wrong with the meal when they see how little I've eaten and I'll either tell them that I had a big lunch or Breakfast (depending on which meal we're talking about). Sometimes, depending on the atmosphere and the people involved, I'll just tell them that I've had stomach surgery and can't eat as much as I used to but that the food is delicious (I don't go into details about what kind of stomach surgery I had or break out my before and after photos). They smile, thank me, and then walk away.

I am 8 pounds under goal going on almost a year now and I eat all the same kinds of foods I used to before the surgery, except in much smaller portions. Today I am totally satisified with just one 54g candy bar or two 15.5g "fun size" Milky Way nuggets. Both my doctor and nutritionist strongly encouraged me to practice moderation in all foods and for me this approach has worked beautifully. In order to maintain control over my snack foods, I literally budget them in advance into my planned schedule of calories for each day. I stick to the plan and strictly monitor how many calories are going in versus how many I am burning (I use myfitnesspal.com and the Biggest Loser body monitor armband for that).

Don't worry, you will still be able to eat socially and you won't be frustrated because you won't be walking away from the table hungry. If you're full after six bites, then you're full.

My relationship with food is so different now. In the beginning it was really tough. I used to watch others eating and was envious. I would want to have more, but just couldn't do it. I even ended up making myself sick from forcing that last bite, that I shouldn't have. Now I do enjoy eating again! But instead of being envious of people who can eat more food then they should it makes me sick. I can't get over how much they eat! Lol! That used to be me, or even worse. My husband and I went out to dinner last night...our whole meal cost 9.60! He doesn't have any issues with weight. He loves taking me out now, calls me his cheap date, plus whatever I don't finish he gladly takes over for me. Lol there are plenty of other things to do that doesn't involve food. I set up a rewards program for myself for meaning all my short term goals. Every weight goal along the way would get something special that I had always wanted to do for myself, but always felt unworthy of because of my weight...like a full body massage! Hehe it was so amazing the first time I got one! FYI I am a year and eight months post op now. I have never been happier! Good luck!

I'm getting surgery next Wednesday and have to say I have no worries. I don't think I'm naive about this, I've just done a lot of work pre-surgery to get my mind straight before having the surgery done. I've gone to the support groups and have gone to therapy specifically for my post relationship to food. It's helped tremendously.

I was so excited for surgery and scared also about the food. I had surgery on 2/25/13 and the first month was hard and I would wonder what I had done as I watched everyone enjoy their yummy, fat filled, not good for you food. But here in last month it has been good!

The benefits:

I feel GREAT!! I sleep better, dont have to sleep as much, more active, more energy, already been taken off my high blood pressure med after the first month, sex is better.

I have been lucky and able to eat just about anything I have tried, I dont eat carbs, eat healthy stuff as much as possible. My new fav is a small chili from Wendys which I can get two meals out of it

My husband and I still go out to dinner, we share, he is very supportive and we usually get cottage chesse instead of a potato and some type of meat. Boy have I saved TONS of money on food! We went to a nicer restraunt and walked out paying less than $20 for lunch, including a tip! WOW in the past it would have been closer to $40 + a tip. Went with friends and had pizza, I just ate some toppings, still good and I enjoyed my time! I feel better knowing I am not sitting there saying to myself "oh I hope they dont eat that all, I want more" Its much more enjoyable knowing I will eat a little and be satisfied and not worry about making sure I get ALL I want.

I also use myfitnesspal.com really helps you see what you are consuming. I didnt think I was close to my protien intake, but when I plugged it it, I was pretty close! Good way to just keep a focus on what you are putting in your mouth.

You will wonder, but in the long run and as time goes on, you will LOVE it!

I changed during my food funeral. I was worried I'd miss food so I went crazy and gain an extra 10 lbs because of it. In the process it made me hate food. By the time I got close to my pre-op diet ... I was soooooo sick of food I started my pre-op several days early. Haven't missed food since. Of course, my way is certainly not a recommended course, but it's what happened to me.

I don't miss any foods. I'm almost 4 months post-surgery and never been happier with the new healthy me. Now, I proudly relate myself with the healthy people I see biking, walking, excercising, eating right, etc. I no longer grossly over eat to where people notice or can't bike because I can't, or can't ski because I can't get up if I fall etc. I'm a new me and you too, will love it when you ge there

Agreed, the relationship with food does need to change. And after surgery, it does. It no longer has the importance it did. I still go out to eat, I just don't eat much. I can Celebrate things without food. And I make the choice not to partake in cake and whatnot. But I could if I wanted to.

When I want to celebrate, I go shopping for new clothes. When I feel blah or depressed, I work out. Makes me feel awesome. If I want part of a candy bar, I eat part I a candy bar, but I know ahead of time that it will make me crave carbs like crazy for a few days after, so I usually don't. I'm so happy I did this surgery. No regrets.