I am 33. Very happily married. Now a normal weight. I self payed in the states. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. Everyone keeps making comments about pregnancy easier now that I am smaller or aren't you worried about pregnancy weight. Thing is, I don't think I want kids. Ever. I would like some feed back on the pros and cons of that choice. Anyone who has an opinion, young, old, male female, parent or not. Thanks!

I am the same way. People look at me like I have three heads when I say that but I really just dont have any motherly instinct.

Well I had my kids very young. It is a very personal decision. Would I have more children? No, but I love them with all my heart. I think if I would have waited I wouldn't have had any kids or I may have adopted once I had my career and relationship solid. Now I am on a 5 year IUD and I am happy that I made that choice. My boys are now 11 and 18. With that said...I can't wait for grandkids (hopefully 10 years from now) because I have friends who I visit often and when their grandkids are around its sooo awesome.

Having children or not, is a very personal decision. Every woman has desires and wants. They are just not alway the same. For me personally, I always wanted children and can't imagine my life WITHOUT them. I knew I would be a good mother and I am. That said, some women do not desire to have children and can't imagine their life WITH them. Everyone is different. My 2 cents is don't let anyone pressure or shame you for your decision, whichever you choose. People pry and ask and pressure but who is the one raising the child?

I have always told my now grown boys, have children if and when you are ready and don't let anyone tell your decisions are wrong. Our oldest son has been married a year now and I have not ever asked about their reproductive choices. That is between my son and his wife. Period. If and when they decide to have a child, I'm sure I will be one of the first to know. I get asked a lot from people when are they going to have a baby? I tell them I know know. It's none of my business. It's not.

To you, when people ask I would look them in the eye and politely tell them my reproductive status is not up for discussion. It will shut them down. You will only have to do it a few times. Then people will stop.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

One needs to come to Florida, drive on I-4 in Orlando or I-275/75 in Tampa at 5:00 P.M..

The most important people; my wife, daughter and granddaughters, are already here.

There are enough people in the world.

You still have plenty of time to decide. When or if the time is right, you'll know it.

I am a child lover. My entire life evolves around children. My education, my career, my life, etc. with that said, I have the utmost respect for people who make the choice to not have children. You know what's best! I admire that. I wish more people would actually think about it first. Good for you!

Personally, I would much prefer people that decide they don't want kids than to people who have kids and not want them

On a side note.. Hehe, I didn't have I motherly instinct in my body, mind or soul until I held my first born.

I didn't have my first child until I was thirty..

She is now 16. In some ways I'm glad I waited because I was able to live my life until then anyway I chose. I was able to do what I wanted when I wanted with whom I wanted. When I had my children though I changed everything, I wanted to be the kind of mother I never had.

My mother had us young and she was out of control to say the least. I do find that having them older is good in that sense.. But I did have moments of "Missing" my freedom.

I wanted both of my children and wouldn't change it for anything! Am I looking forward to getting past the raising them stage to go out and do things with my husband alone again? Well I have a 16 year old girl, so many days yes!

It's a personal thing, having children. I think there is no right or wrong answer as long as you do what's right for YOU. It will work out.

I am a child lover. My entire life evolves around children. My education, my career, my life, etc. with that said, I have the utmost respect for people who make the choice to not have children. You know what's best! I admire that. I wish more people would actually think about it first. Good for you!

Personally, I would much prefer people that decide they don't want kids than to people who have kids and not want them

On a side note.. Hehe, I didn't have I motherly instinct in my body, mind or soul until I held my first born.

You, too?

This is me before my daughter was born:

OMG.. Gmanbat, You probably heard me gasp all the way from Washington to Florida when I watched that!!

I don't think I want kids

apricot11119

as everyone else said, this is a very personal decision/choice

decision can't be made one afternoon on VSG board!!!!!

"years back" - as you "became an adult"??, things were "supposed" to happen

high school, maybe college, fall in love, get married , couple of years later - THEN, baby makes 3

doesn't work that way anymore!!!!!

you don't need to give birth to prove you are a women!!!

people want their careers, enjoy life - marriage? significant other? or happiness within themselves - without partner - or with???

"rule book" should/has been thrown away!!!!!

population explosion/unwanted kids

if you are doubting yourself even a "smidgin" about having kids - my opinion - go with your first thoughts

People will "get over it" - its not their business - and don't feel you have to explain yourself

I "hear" you are a successful weight "loser" - i can tell you are 100% a winner!!!!!

do whats best for you!!!!

good luck

btw - high school, married at 19 - beautiful daughter at 21 - divorced at 25 - remarried at 38 to a keeper for 21 years and counting - became a ProudGrammy at 47!!!!

There is nothing wrong with not wanting children if that is your choice, I think it's admirable. Every woman wasn't meant to have children. Whatever your choice, I'm sure it will be an informed decision.

I also don't / did not want children. However, I fell in love with a man that wanted. It came to a point of contention and we negotiated for 1 child & 1 additional large dog ( hubby wants & I said no bc we have 2) . I would get pregnant and have a child once. If he wants two he better pray for twins. They will be his responsibility. He will stay home with them and be the primary caregiver. I will of course love them & whatnot but I will not sacrifice my career that I worked so hard on to the point of being 100# overweight for something I don't really want.

I am not cold, I am realistic. We have 2 dogs 3 years old. He cannot take care of them if I leave for a week. How can I expect for him to take care of a child?

Furthermore I work in a childrens hospital. I play with other peoples children all day & then they go home with someone else. I make prosthetic legs so I get those special moments that make you cry & full of joy at work. I feel that is enough for me when coupled with the dogs & hubby.

So. Long to short. Be realistic about what you want and don't hesitate to get it in writing.

So Rebecca did you have a child? Does he do the lions share of the work?

My husband and I are on the same page thank goodness. We enjoy being dinks ( dual income no kids). I teach high school special Ed. I enjoy it but need my grown up time. We have done the pros and cons, and I am good with my choice. It is just so polarizing. I am so interested in how other people came to make the choice and then how they feel about their outcomes...

I have not yet had a child. I lost an ovary in 2009 & diagnosed with pcos in 2010. My dr told me that I was running out of time & that I needed to lose weight if I wanted a shot to do it without IVF.

Hubby has come around to the possibility/probability of having to adopt.

Good news is that because of my work I've had many social workers try to get me to adopt my patients. Special needs kids aren't easy to adopt out especially the older ones. They usually are 90% normal but are missing a leg or arm. For someone like me not a big deal. For regular person 15-20k per leg per year. Kids grow & need new ones every year.

I think that getting an older child would solve a lot of my problems with having a child.