Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Do people really do this s**t?



Recommended Posts

So my mother got a voicemail this morning who heard I had VSG (I have no idea how she knows). I quote "I don't know if you know this, but Rosie really needs to change her diet or she's not going to keep the weight off. Surgery doesn't fix the problem". NO. FREAKING. WAY. REALLY??? And then she went on to suggest "healthy things" I could eat and offer her guidance.... She's a realtor, not a NUT. "You know when I had my kid I worked really hard to lose 25 pounds and I've kept it off! I think she could learn from my story". Like I could relate to that. At all.

I know what's healthy and what's not. I know how to lose weight. I'm a freaking expert at weight loss! We all are here. After all the practice we've had at doing it for three months here, two months there, the first week of January every year...

If we were able to use out knowledge of what's good for us and bad for us in our own lives, we wouldn't need surgery.

I've also had a friend of my moms and say "I don't know if you've tried it, but exercise really help with weight loss". LIGHTBULB! Why didn't I think of that?

I have no idea how to react when people give me "advice" like that. How do you handle it when people treat you like you're totally uneducated and inexperienced in the world of health???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I say Thanks and move away from them. I don't waste time defending myself.

Lynda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL. I didn't tell many people for that exact reason. My aunt, however, was talking to my mom and my mom told her she was proud of me because I'm losing weight and went from a 24 to a 14 already. My Aunt flipped out! She immediately called me up and was rude and snide and demanded to know what surgery I had because it would be impossible to lose that much weight without surgery, and why haven't I posted pictures if I've lost so much weight. She was SUCH a B*TCH, and all I could do...was laugh. I laughed so hard I actually teared up. I could not believe the icy disguist spewing from her mouth. My laughing didn't help at all. I never did tell her I did the sleeve, and now I probably never will. When people would offer me unsolicited advice, I just laugh and tell them thanks, I appreciate their thoughts. I think these people make their suggestions and comments because they are jealous, and scared that you might actually succeed while they...stay the same. Laughter is the best medicine, and it lets them know you don't take them seriously, because they are saying ridiculous things. Hold your chin up, ROCK that sleeve, and become the woman outside you've always been on the inside ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm like, "OK, thanks" and walk away. Some people are generally trying to be helpful so I try not to say it *too* sarcastically. I have been lucky since almost ALL feedback from people that know has been very positive. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this hits home with me...I absolutely HATE the idiotic comments and advice I get from people--even those who know I am fairly intelligent person....like the one recommending I exercise because it will help me lose weight...DUH you idiots...and the comparisons to others..."I had a friend who went on the pineapple diet and lost 50 lbs.; you should try that"...."if you would just cut back on Snacks and only eat vegetables, lean meat and fruits, the weight would just melt off of you"....these people aren't NUTs, but they are nuts!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just this past week, I've encountered two rude people. My sister-in-law informed me I just should have dieted. I wish I had thought of that. Then a co-worker mentioned she considered weight loss surgery but felt it was only for weak, unmotivated people. Gee, thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This a tool not the magic bullet a lot of hard work I can relate to family not understanding it hard to share this with family and friends but this is your decision. I told my mom about my health concerns and I had the best DR. and a great support group I took my hubby to a group meeting and he understand better about the sleeve share books and the internet I have loss my best friend over this decision to do the sleeve but I know in time they will come around when they see all the hard work you have done to change your life Good Luck hang in there!! this is for You ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favorite was "have you ever talked to a doctor about your weight?" Uh I was 50 and overweight since I was 8. Yeah he might have mentioned it once or twice..... ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Geri and Terry...those are more ridiculous examples, and I think I've heard them too...it's amazing how many of these people we have all been dealing with in our lives

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd 'thank' them for their concern but point out they have nothing to offer.

Something along the lines of "thanks for your concern, I really appreciate it, but you're not going to suggest anything that I haven't thought of or tried, probably numerous times"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell them wait a minute let me get a pen to write this information down, or better yet I'm interested just write everything down and I'll try it. The looks on their faces......priceless.

I'm sure they don't mean any harm, they are just trying to be helpful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just this past week, I've encountered two rude people. My sister-in-law informed me I just should have dieted. I wish I had thought of that. Then a co-worker mentioned she considered weight loss surgery but felt it was only for weak, unmotivated people. Gee, thanks!

:lol: :lol:

They considered WLS so I assume they're obese?

If WLS is for the 'weak and unmotivated' what does that make someone who is obese and not doing anything about it weak unmotivated and stupid!!??

People crack me up! :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this! I have to try some of the great responses mentioned here. Some of the "advice" I get makes me feel like I'm in health class again!

I've been in weight watchers, Atkins, Jenny Craig, etc since I was nine. Yet apparently I don't know that "water will help curb hunger when you want to snack".

Pfffffttttttt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hehe, I'd just thank them for their concern and point out that I see my PCP and my endocrinologist regularly, I've spent six months working with a nutritionist, and had a personal trainer twice a month for a year. I've had plenty of expert advice and support to try and do this non-surgically over the past few years, but my medical team and I have agreed that this surgery is a good idea for me at this point after thoroughly assessing the risks and probable outcomes.

End of discussion, generally, I expect. At least among my friends and family, I'm pretty well known for doing a thorough job on research, and enumerating the types of people I've worked with extensively lends credence to my decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahaha So after I was asked if I ever saw a doctor about my weight, the next thing I got was:"I just watched a show about a diet on PBS. I'd like to have you do it with me." (after I had already set up to have surgery). Then a call saying "I was on a transatlantic flight and sat next to a doctor. He and I both think surgery is not the right thing to do." This fellow is 6'4 and about 180 soaking wet. I was both touched and mortified by his level of concern but... wow!

Really shows you how people can't grasp the life we lead and why we arrive at this place. I can't wait to run into him now and show him that I'm OK.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×