So my mother got a voicemail this morning who heard I had VSG (I have no idea how she knows). I quote "I don't know if you know this, but Rosie really needs to change her diet or she's not going to keep the weight off. Surgery doesn't fix the problem". NO. FREAKING. WAY. REALLY??? And then she went on to suggest "healthy things" I could eat and offer her guidance.... She's a realtor, not a NUT. "You know when I had my kid I worked really hard to lose 25 pounds and I've kept it off! I think she could learn from my story". Like I could relate to that. At all.

I know what's healthy and what's not. I know how to lose weight. I'm a freaking expert at weight loss! We all are here. After all the practice we've had at doing it for three months here, two months there, the first week of January every year...

If we were able to use out knowledge of what's good for us and bad for us in our own lives, we wouldn't need surgery.

I've also had a friend of my moms and say "I don't know if you've tried it, but exercise really help with weight loss". LIGHTBULB! Why didn't I think of that?

I have no idea how to react when people give me "advice" like that. How do you handle it when people treat you like you're totally uneducated and inexperienced in the world of health???

I say Thanks and move away from them. I don't waste time defending myself.

Lynda

LOL. I didn't tell many people for that exact reason. My aunt, however, was talking to my mom and my mom told her she was proud of me because I'm losing weight and went from a 24 to a 14 already. My Aunt flipped out! She immediately called me up and was rude and snide and demanded to know what surgery I had because it would be impossible to lose that much weight without surgery, and why haven't I posted pictures if I've lost so much weight. She was SUCH a B*TCH, and all I could do...was laugh. I laughed so hard I actually teared up. I could not believe the icy disguist spewing from her mouth. My laughing didn't help at all. I never did tell her I did the sleeve, and now I probably never will. When people would offer me unsolicited advice, I just laugh and tell them thanks, I appreciate their thoughts. I think these people make their suggestions and comments because they are jealous, and scared that you might actually succeed while they...stay the same. Laughter is the best medicine, and it lets them know you don't take them seriously, because they are saying ridiculous things. Hold your chin up, ROCK that sleeve, and become the woman outside you've always been on the inside

I'm like, "OK, thanks" and walk away. Some people are generally trying to be helpful so I try not to say it *too* sarcastically. I have been lucky since almost ALL feedback from people that know has been very positive.

this hits home with me...I absolutely HATE the idiotic comments and advice I get from people--even those who know I am fairly intelligent person....like the one recommending I exercise because it will help me lose weight...DUH you idiots...and the comparisons to others..."I had a friend who went on the Pineapple diet and lost 50 lbs.; you should try that"...."if you would just cut back on snacks and only eat vegetables, lean meat and fruits, the weight would just melt off of you"....these people aren't NUTs, but they are nuts!!

Just this past week, I've encountered two rude people. My sister-in-law informed me I just should have dieted. I wish I had thought of that. Then a co-worker mentioned she considered weight loss surgery but felt it was only for weak, unmotivated people. Gee, thanks!

This a tool not the magic bullet a lot of hard work I can relate to family not understanding it hard to share this with family and friends but this is your decision. I told my mom about my health concerns and I had the best DR. and a great support group I took my hubby to a group meeting and he understand better about the sleeve share books and the internet I have loss my best friend over this decision to do the sleeve but I know in time they will come around when they see all the hard work you have done to change your life Good Luck hang in there!! this is for You ...

My favorite was "have you ever talked to a doctor about your weight?" Uh I was 50 and overweight since I was 8. Yeah he might have mentioned it once or twice..... ????

Geri and Terry...those are more ridiculous examples, and I think I've heard them too...it's amazing how many of these people we have all been dealing with in our lives

I'd 'thank' them for their concern but point out they have nothing to offer.

Something along the lines of "thanks for your concern, I really appreciate it, but you're not going to suggest anything that I haven't thought of or tried, probably numerous times"

I tell them wait a minute let me get a pen to write this information down, or better yet I'm interested just write everything down and I'll try it. The looks on their faces......priceless.

I'm sure they don't mean any harm, they are just trying to be helpful.

Just this past week, I've encountered two rude people. My sister-in-law informed me I just should have dieted. I wish I had thought of that. Then a co-worker mentioned she considered weight loss surgery but felt it was only for weak, unmotivated people. Gee, thanks!

:lol:

They considered WLS so I assume they're obese?

If WLS is for the 'weak and unmotivated' what does that make someone who is obese and not doing anything about it weak unmotivated and stupid!!??

People crack me up!

Haha I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this! I have to try some of the great responses mentioned here. Some of the "advice" I get makes me feel like I'm in health class again!

I've been in weight watchers, Atkins, Jenny Craig, etc since I was nine. Yet apparently I don't know that "water will help curb hunger when you want to snack".

Pfffffttttttt.

Hehe, I'd just thank them for their concern and point out that I see my PCP and my endocrinologist regularly, I've spent six months working with a nutritionist, and had a personal trainer twice a month for a year. I've had plenty of expert advice and support to try and do this non-surgically over the past few years, but my medical team and I have agreed that this surgery is a good idea for me at this point after thoroughly assessing the risks and probable outcomes.

End of discussion, generally, I expect. At least among my friends and family, I'm pretty well known for doing a thorough job on research, and enumerating the types of people I've worked with extensively lends credence to my decision.

hahaha So after I was asked if I ever saw a doctor about my weight, the next thing I got was:"I just watched a show about a diet on PBS. I'd like to have you do it with me." (after I had already set up to have surgery). Then a call saying "I was on a transatlantic flight and sat next to a doctor. He and I both think surgery is not the right thing to do." This fellow is 6'4 and about 180 soaking wet. I was both touched and mortified by his level of concern but... wow!

Really shows you how people can't grasp the life we lead and why we arrive at this place. I can't wait to run into him now and show him that I'm OK.

The important thing to remember when in these situations is that if you value those relationships AT ALL you need to realize that these people, as clueless as they are, mean well.

My second thing to say on this subject is that this is a SHINING example of why I do not share this information - everyone who has a chip on their shoulder about losing 4 pounds and keeping it off for a few months will give you their opinions, philosophies, and rules about all things dietary and fitness.