Today is my 17 year wedding anniversary. (24 years together). Because my anniversary is so close to Valentine's Day we usually go out to eat to a newer high-end restaurant. We very much enjoy good food and good wine. I am only two weeks post op so obviously I cannot have dinner with my husband tonight. I'm feeling very sad about this today instead of being overjoyed by spending 17 years with the man that I have loved for half my life.

I am feeling guilty that he will not be able to enjoy a nice dinner because of my crappy food choices that I've made my entire life. I understand I'm still going through some post op emotional feelings but I am very weepy today.

How very touching. I know the usual plan needs to be modified for now, but why not do something really special together and use the time to plan a celebration for down the road...or start a new non-food tradition! You should be happy on such a wonderful occassion! You have beat the odds so celebrate!

First, congrats on your anniversary! Second, I am sorry you are weepy on your special day.

I wouldn't say that you can't have the celebration dinner you usually have because of your previous food choices. Rather, it's because you have taken steps to a healthier you that will allow you and your hubby to share many more years together... which means more anniversaries and celebrations!

I am only 7 weeks out and it is difficult to remove the food from the celebrations and social gatherings. Of course it can still be done, just in moderation. I have come to realize how much I used food as a reward or how much I planned my days around eating. With the sleeve, I can't do that anymore. In social situations my focus has to be on the people, catching up with friends, getting to know people, etc. This adjustment was quite a rude awakening for me!

When I go out with my hubby I try to find an activity we both enjoy and can spend time together doing - and for me, that can't be eating. What could you guys do to enjoy yourselves while spending the day together? What activities bring joy to both of your lives? Hiking? Going to waterfalls? Walking around downtown?

How about take the food out of the day? Do something fun, go to the movies, go purchase a piece of jewelry, go have a couples massage. Plan a date to celebrate your anniversary 6 months from now. This is just temporary.

Make a special event (when you're cleared for all foods) with the husband of going out to eat when you're able. My first meal out after surgery was a really big deal for me. We went to Kansai and it was delicious! Like most of us, I came home with enough food for 2 more meals

Go out to eat anyway. Let him order what he wants and you can have soup. It can still be a good day. :-)

At two weeks post-op, the last thing I wanted to think about was food. Now that I'm about 4.5 months out, going out to eat just doesn't hold the same attraction for me that it once did, and we were big fans of tasting menus... I kind of get bored when we're out to eat now. Agree with the posters who recommend starting new traditions to celebrate. What about getting tickets to a concert, a show, seeing a comedian, the couples massage idea (massage is great for healing), take a walk on the beach (if you are in Naples, where your surgeon is located) or down on 5th Avenue, which is so cute. That movie theater at the Mercato is something special too. (I have family in Naples - love going there for Christmas.)

At the same time, it is normal to feel down and to mourn food a bit, particularly at this time post-op. This is a good time to start new traditions, habits, and to focus on the years you've gained with your spouse as a result of this surgery.

Thank you everyone so much for your kind words and fabulous alternate ideas. Today has certainly been a struggle. My husband is aggravated with my mood and it hasn't turned out to be the best day. I guess we can chalk this one up to a lost celebration and move on.

It's hard for the spouses to understand the physical, mental and emotional changes we are going through. He has no patience for me today so I have been holed up on the patio or in my room reading. I guess a visit to a therapist is in order. :-)

I hope you all are having a great Sunday!

He has no patience for me today so I have been holed up on the patio or in my room reading. I guess a visit to a therapist is in order. :-)

Well shucks, that stinks. There's still a good portion of the day to enjoy. What if you went up to him and invited him to the movies?

Well shucks' date=' that stinks. There's still a good portion of the day to enjoy. What if you went up to him and invited him to the movies?

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He doesn't do movies but I did ask him to go see the sunset with me. Needless to say I ended up at the beach by myself. It was ok though. I was there for two hours and it really helped to clear my head.

He doesn't do movies but I did ask him to go see the sunset with me. Needless to say I ended up at the beach by myself. It was ok though. I was there for two hours and it really helped to clear my head.

Sorry to hear it.

It's good you had some "me time" and a chance to clear your head. Tomorrow is a new day.

I'm sorry you had a rough day - but don't let this get in the way of your anniversary. Reflect on the reasons you love each other, the reason you fell in love with him :wub: Maybe end the night with a little shoulder massage for him and some kind, gentle words. It may just be reciprocated! It's tough, we all have our ups and downs - this surgery can really take its toll as we adjust to our new bodies, new habits, and new lifestyle. Sending hugs your way and positive thoughts