I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Now that I have lost 102 pounds, I have the same guys who wouldn't give me the time of day when I was a size 22/24, now want to go out with me....and my answer? Screw them! If they didn't want me for me then just because I was heavy, but now I am ok to date cause I am thin? I don't want them. They didn't want me for me then and I sure don't want them now!!!

http://www.okcupid.com/matchme?u=DerickM

Take the test and see if I would get along with you. I have been told I am hard to get along with, so I am branching out of my limited pool of test subjects.:biggrin1:

Ive gotten some of that too Tam .. but new ones i meet.. its hard not to wonder. Oh well .. im losing the physical fat girl.. i need to work on the mental fat girl! lol

I don't want to hijack this thread so I am starting another thread about this in the Lap Band Forum. I am really interested in everyone's responses about this:

Is someone of poor character if they didn't ask you out when you were heavy but they do when you are thin? If so, why? Is it insulting? If so, why?

I don't expect a man to ask me out if he isn't attracted to me physically. I don't think that a man who is not attracted to heavy people is a bad person....

To me that is totally different than if I gained weight while dating someone seriously. If I was in a serious relationship and I gained weight I would expect that person not to dump me. If they did dump me then I would think they had poor character and I would be insulted.

Anyway, back to being a single bandster... or in my case a single bandster to be!

Susan I don't think your questions would have hijacked this thread at all. The thread is for discussing issues that us single bandsters face, and those certainly are issues we have to deal with.

I will visit and post in the other thread you posted though, becuase I think it is an interesting topic.

okay I haven't posted in a bit, I have been getting used to myself since the fill. It sure is different. I had .5cc before, they added another cc. I have a 4 cc band. Boya, can I feel restriction now!! I am truly a 4-6 oz girl now. I am going to be flashing that card so I can get a kids meal now. I don't think I can do chicken anymore, darn. I love chicken!!!:faint::faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint:

I will definitely be down under 200 by Christmas. I have lost 4 lbs since my fill on Tuesday, I know, I know, I shouldn't be losing that fast, but I can't eat! well, not much. I am going to HAVE to start weight training, my arms look like those flying monkey wings! I think I could takeoff with themLOL!

Okay, this is my opinion, and I know my opinion changes all the time, but right now this is what I think about the guys who like us thin, but not when we were big. Men are visual creatures. They must be attracted to something to pursue it, they will get to know it later. Like their cars, or trucks. Men love those sleek, fast, beautiful sport cars, or the big 4 wheel drive duallys. ImagineTim the Toolman Taylor:D and what his response would be when he sees a hot rod. They are attracted to the lines, the curves of the vehicle. They get to know how she handles in the rain, and how loud her radio is, or if she has heated seats, or real defog, or god forbid global navigation systems after they have made the purchase. They don't want a station wagon. I know this may not be a good analogy of the mind of men, but its how I imagine them.

Anyway, I wouldn't have dated men who were bigger than me, because I wasn't attracted to them. There has to be attraction, or it will never work. I am not saying it's right, but it's how it is. I am going to have to get used to it. As for the men I know, who may want to date me after I lose weight? No way. But for other men who didn't know me when I was overweight? Sure, because they had no option to turn me down before. I know... it sounds warped.

This is MY opinion, and everyone is entitled to their own........

Kristi

I hear what you're saying Kristi. I know what I'm attracted to, and it's not always an overweight guy - not on first impressions anyway. I know I'm not shallow, so I'd like to think the guys aren't either.

Kristi, congrats on your wt loss and christmas goal.

I CANT WAIT TO BE A MEMBER OF THE 4-6OZ CLUB!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going for a fill Jan 7th.

Me...I think I am not always attracted to heavier men.

sorry no offense to anyone.....but (pun intended)....I am a Butt woman.

Yes...I am guilty of the terrible, shameful, sexist crime of looking at mens

ahem...err......BACKSIDES. I don't like guys with flat buts, I like nice round tight buns.

Ok...so there....I said it!!!!!!

Missy,

You are just being truthful! I look at em too. I do (please don't tell anyone"gulp") mammograms, and CTs, Xrays, I guess that tells you what sortof work I do. But it's so funny, I look at womens chests all the time, thinking if they would be hard to do, easy etc. If I see a woman with BIG bosoms, I am thinking to myself, OMG, someone has to image those! And now I am doing venipuncture, so I always look at people's veins, and when I see a big juicy one, I want to plop a needle right in there!! Gross, I know. I think the medical field has warped me. But I love mens butts!! Legs are nice, too, and I adore nice big shoulders! I think we have scared all the men away from our singles thread by now. Sorry

Kristi

KristiB,

I totally understand what you mean. I also like to look at the back side and I think George Strait has the best one I've seen in his tight Wranglers. LOL But, I think you're right about the analogy you used. Men like to have someone on their arm who they WANT to be seen with no matter what kind of character she has. In other words, they want a trophy girlfriend or wife, no matter what the guy looks like. They tend to look first and ask questions later, if that makes sense. That's been my experience anyway. So, I don't think they are necessarily of bad character if they aren't interested in me heavy. No other man has been interested in a long time, so why should they be? It's just the reality of our society unfortunately. Do I think it's ok for them to feel this way? Absolutely not, but that's just the way it works. I know I will have a much better chance of finding my ideal man after I get skinny, but I guess that's ok to. I am not particularly interested in men who are as much over weight as I am, so I shouldn't expect them to be interested in me either.

Joan

I hope everyone enjoyed the Holidays! I enjoyed them a bit too much, to the tune of 2 lbs gained. Ugh! Oh well, time to dust myself off and get back on track.

So does anyone have any fun plans for New Year's? I was going to try and go out that night, but I just found out that I'll be moving on the 6th of January so I think I'm going to spend it packing. Sad, huh? lol. But I'm ok with it because I'm really looking forward to 2007. This is going to be a wonderful year for all of us!

Woo hoo! Glad I am not the only one who gained weight over the holiday. I only gained 2 lbs, but still!! I had to go back to Dallas to have an unfill. I couldn't stand it anymore, every time I ate I hurt so bad! But now that my body has gotten used to it, I think I could use that fill back. Maybe I was eating too fast or not chewing enough.

So I have 1.8 cc in my 4 cc band, I am still at 205, but I had gotten to 202, or 203, so I am bummed. But, I am starting working out tomorrow night, so hopefully it will start again. I got an ipod to work out with, so I will have some motivation, from "bringin sexy back!" You HAve TO lose weight working out to that one!!

Hope every one comes back soon, I am bored!!

Kristi

I have it on my MP3 player...

Ok, so far I have done very poorly at consistantly exercising. I know, its a cliche but beginning with the new year.....I am starting over.

I have had a gym membership for over a year, pay for it every month and had not been for over 4 months.

Yesterday, I went back, and walked for about 10 minutes on the treadmill, and about 5 minutes on the elliptical. I thought I was dying!!

But I am going back today. Wish me luck.

......goal 30 solid minutes on the treadmill, at a very brisk run/walk....3-5 times per week by Valentines day. I don't think thats too unrealistic. Maybe even a bit under what I should make as goal.

Gonna try........

so maybe we should have a mini goal every now and then. It could be valentines day for this next one. Missy is going to go 30 mins on the treadmill. I am going to lose 10 more lbs, and do 30 mins on the elliptical, 3 times a week. I can do that. Anyone else?

Genius, that's a great song huh? I also like SOS, and Don't you wish your girlf was hot like me? !!!

Chrispy, where are you moving to?

Wootsie, how's the ogling coming? I was so embarrassed at work today I was checking out one of the construction workers, and the foreman saw me doing it. He said some comment about how he thought only men did that!

Ok, so the guys asked us at my office if we'd like to go see the "little sisters". I think it sounds funny, but I dont know if I want to go to a gentlemens club. LOL the sisters are little people, who happen to be strippers.

Happy new year everyone!

Kristi