I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

haha KristB, here I am! Sorry I've been absent lately. Thing have been crazy at work and I just moved last weekend, so I'm still trying to get settled. My internet connection isn't working (I'm hacking onto someone's signal by my laptop - lol), but hopefully that will be fixed soon and I'll be back full swing!

Not much new on the dating end with me. I re-joined Match last night for 3 months, and I guess we'll see where that goes. I'm sure I'll at least have some stories for ya all. lol. I want to date and have fun, but I'm ok with being single right now if that makes any sense???

Well I've gotta run off to work. Hope everyone enjoys their Friday!!!!

Just poked my head in....did some say booty call. I know what those are. I am single, my definition of single is having male friends and no one wants to commit to a dag on relationship. Part of this is my fault. How can I expect someone else to love me if I won't. So right now I am in a relationship with me but I am looking to involve someone else hopefully soon. I am getting tired of buying me dinner.

Maybe the reason I have trouble in a relationship is because I find sleeping all snuggled up with my dogs so MUCH better than sleeping next to a guy.

I have been single a littttttttttttle too long. Perhaps it is time to put the Match.com ad out again.

Just poked my head in....did some say booty call. . So right now I am in a relationship with my but I am looking to involve someone else hopefully soon. I am getting tired of buying me dinner.

ROFL....me too Teresita...me tooo

Ok, so heres the deal. Even way back in high school, I tended to be an introvert. We moved around alot and I have ALOT of difficulty making friends. As I have gotten older and fatter, I hate crowds and being around ppl I don't know. I also have a bit of a chip on my shoulder being around ppl with spouses, (I know I am irrationally jealous and its stupid but I can't seem to completely get past it.)

Because I have done NOTHING to change this situation. I do great around ppl I know, I'm fine at work, church, and with long-time friends, but meeting strangers makes me tongue-tied and awkward feeling.

So, that being said, I am pulling up my boot-straps. Summoning up my courage, and I AM GOING to go to the Denton bandsters meet/greet.

My natural instinct says....don't go...but my heart/head know that I would benefit from the support if I can just get past my phobia.

Wish me luck...and tell me to get off my a$$ and join the world.

>>

me.....loosing weight...hopfully gaining a fuller life.

Ok, so heres the deal. Even way back in high school, I tended to be an introvert. We moved around alot and I have ALOT of difficulty making friends. As I have gotten older and fatter, I hate crowds and being around ppl I don't know. I also have a bit of a chip on my shoulder being around ppl with spouses, (I know I am irrationally jealous and its stupid but I can't seem to completely get past it.)

Because I have done NOTHING to change this situation. I do great around ppl I know, I'm fine at work, church, and with long-time friends, but meeting strangers makes me tongue-tied and awkward feeling.

So, that being said, I am pulling up my boot-straps. Summoning up my courage, and I AM GOING to go to the Denton bandsters meet/greet.

My natural instinct says....don't go...but my heart/head know that I would benefit from the support if I can just get past my phobia.

Wish me luck...and tell me to get off my a$$ and join the world.

>>

me.....loosing weight...hopfully gaining a fuller life.

This all sounds familiar...

Good for you for deciding to go to the meet and greet. You might be dreading it but I guarantee that you will run to your next one. Soon, you will be running to all meet and greets.

Good luck to you.

I think this may be a bit of a hijack...I am 38 and "happily single", and so are all of my single friends. I have never lacked for male companionship and date frequently. I am a lower BMI Bandster, and paid for my lap band because I have a family history of MO and saw where I was headed...wanted to nip this in the bud. In the US, the latest polls shows 51% of women are now choosing to remain single. My friends and I have our own money, (I have a great job, and was able to pay for my lapband without any sacrifice), our own cars and can go and do as we please. I see marriage as a lifestyle "choice", but not mine. I was banded on December the 5th by Dr. Rumbaut. I'm making plans to go this weekend back to Monterrey to get my first fill, and I'm making a mini vacation out of it. I plan to shop and have a good time and spend even more money on myself. I love Monterrey, I love my lifestyle. I love the fact that I can afford to do this and don't have to have my choices "approved" by a spouse as so many of my married friends do. I plan to fly back and get all my fills done in Monterrey, and thank God I can afford to do that. I say enjoy your life, live life to the fullest as you continue on your weight loss journey. I do.

oooooooooooohhhhh just thot I would let you guys know, that Im in love..........he just doesnt know it yet lol! Hot cop, yes a cop (ex-stripper) NOTICE "EX"......I am working on seeing if he wants to go out this weekend to the club or something.....JESUS, Ive never known a man as hot as he is lol...

Missy C - good for you for stepping out girl! Let us know how the meeting went!

Serious - I hear ya girl! I enjoy my life and have a great, great life. I know if I'm single forever I will still have a wonderful life. But I also enjoy dating and being in a relationship, but it is not my life's mission anymore. It's wonderful to be in a place where you are comfortable being by yourself!

Oooh Jodie - an ex stripper? At least you know he's got the moves. haha! Let us know how it goes!

Chrispygal,

Don't get me wrong I enjoy dating too and love being in a relationship. I am currently dating two very interesting men. My point is that as single women, we have got to get past the stereotypes: we are not lonely spinsters waiting for someone to marry us to make us complete. We are part of the fastest growing consumer group in this country. I am not anti marriage if that is what people want, but I want us, especially as women, to start being comfortable with all of our lifestyle choices. Some of us will choose to marry, some of us, like myself, choose to stay single and date. Some of us will choose to stay child free. We have so many options these days. I just want people to stop equating singleness with loneliness; Some of my married friends are the loneliest women I know.

Serious,

I used to be one of your lonely married friends! Thats one of the reasons I divorced him. He would ask off for separate vacations, days off, etc, just to not be with me I guess. I am more like MissyC, I am very shy until I get to know people, have always been that way I suppose. I have a few good friends, not much of a network. I don't really have guy friends, although I get along better with men. I would love to date and not care what people think. I applaud you for doing what you want and when you want to do it.

Kristi

I hear what you're saying serious, and agree whole heartedly.

*curses valentines day!*

I am reading this great book "Singled out, how singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and Ignored, and still live happily ever After," By Bella DePaulo, PhD. Her research is great. I don't agree with everything she says, for instance, she feels some of her married friends made her feel less than...I have not experienced that, my friends are my friends, married, single, divorced, gay, whatever, but her book is great and I recommend it. KristiB, as you get closer to your weight loss goal, and thus your transformation, you will date more, it takes time to feel comfortable in your own skin. I haven't tried any of the online dating sites yet, but I have friends who do and swear by them. They don't go on looking for their "soulmate" though, they go on looking for friends, then they weed out from there. The same with me I guess, when I meet men,I take a while to get to know them , I don't do one night stands. I also read this book, "Why men love bitches" and use that as my dating quide and get good results. One of my girlfriends who went through a horrible divorce is in the process of transforming herself. She is having plastic surgery to celebrate her divorce. I plan on having cosmetic dental surgery this summer. I want that white straight smile. I have a picture in my head of how I want to look by Christmas, so I am a work in progress. This weight loss is just the beginning. I am beautiful now, just wait till the end of the year!

Way to go Jodi! I hope things work out for you with this cop. It's interesting that he's an ex stripper, but who knows, he may be the right guy for you. Keep us up to date.

MissyC, you are going to have a great time at the Denton meeting. I wish I was there to go, but I have to see my docs up here before I come back down there. I know you will enjoy it and look forward to the next one. I hope I'll be there then.

Serious, I like you way of living! I wish I had the money to do that, but it sounds like you have a great time. Hopefully after the band, I will get to go back to work and will be able to travel, etc. I sure hope so.

You guys just crack me up with your dating and stuff. Keep us informed about how everthing is going for everyone. This is my favorite thread!

Joan